[SilverUberXeno]

Today, June 8th, is my birthday. Here's how things have gone so far.

At 12:01 AM, I was in a head-on collision with another vehicle at 45 MPH. Keep in mind, this is the Chrysler LHS I bought on FRIDAY; gone.

Coming down the road only a few minutes from my house, with the cruise control at 45 to conserve fuel, it appeared that there was a washing machine in the road. I swerved right and avoided the obstruction, but was immediately greeted by a telephone pole directly in front of me, which I also avoided- However, the right side of my car lost traction in the grass/mud on the side of the road and the car fish-tailed out to the right. I ended up in the oncoming lane of traffic, and in the front end of a Grand-Am.

I saw the car coming and knew there was nothing I could do just before the collision, so I relaxed. BOOM. Airbags smashed me in the face and my car stopped DEAD, only moving enough to slide back-first into the ditch. For five seconds I made sure I wasn't bleeding from anywhere on my head, then I crawled over the seats (as I could not open the driver-side door), kicked out the passenger side door, and got out of the car.

My right ankle hurt a little, and I was bleeding from a few spots, but everything seemed to be moving properly. I hobbled over to the other car and the driver was conscious as well, though a little disoriented. His wife had been behind him in another car and was almost in hysterics. I thought about telling her to shut up, as we were both alert and responsive and the ambulances were coming, but I let her be. I understood her concern.

The police asked me questions and I answered calmly. Every one of them said "You were in that car? You're more calm than anybody I've ever seen after an accident. Do you remember it? Did you hit your head? Why are you so calm?" I don't think my heart rate was ever over 100. Just made more sense to have my wits and be sensible.

As it turns out, the obstacle in the road was an INFLATABLE ****ING CHAIR. Sitting directly in the middle of my lane.

The hospital was uneventful; just a sprained ankle and some bad lacerations to my left foot. I walked out of the hospital on my own power at 2:12AM and went directly to the salvage yard. I did not trust my golf clubs in a salvage yard. They survived the accident just fine, by the way.

Went back to the scene of the crash at 2:38AM, hobbling around a muddy ditch in hospital socks to find my sneakers. Didn't find them until this morning, but it must've been quite a site to see a kid hauled off in an ambulance come walking back to the crash.

At 10:18AM I bought a new putter. Happy birthday to me.

No one was seriously hurt, and I had full coverage on the car, so this should all be taken care of. Pictures will follow as soon as I get back to my normal computer. Nothing too gruesome, as it's just of the cars, but they're pretty bad.