[IrishGolfer]

Other Chi Chi quotes and one-liners


"Look for the guy with the new grip on his ball retriever or head covers on his irons." - On finding someone you can beat

"Sure, I'm making a lot of money now, but years ago the IRS would send me get-well cards."

"Most people will miss a putt for nothing. A little money, and the weak are certain to miss."

On what club he would play with during a 1-club round: "I would play with a 4-iron. I can hit it anywhere from 110 yards to 210 yards. I can hit high or run it low. Bend it right or turn it left. And if there's money on the game, and you are betting me I can't beat you with just one club, then I can use my 4-iron to lift your wallet out of your back pocket, too."

"I always used to wear green on Sunday because that's when they hand out the checks and green is the color of money. If you ever see a color picture of me in book or some place in a magazine and I am wearing green, then you can take it to the bank - the picture was taken on a Sunday."

"A three putt is just about the worst thing in golf. I hate them. I could make the longest putt you could think of, and if it's a third putt or for bogey, I can't bring myself to do the sword dance."

"Until Tiger Woods came along, I thought Jack Nicklaus was the greatest player ever. Sam Snead was the best ball striker I ever saw. ... Ben Hogan was second with Byron Nelson pretty close to both of them. ... But Tiger Woods, he is the complete package. He has the intelligence of Nicklaus, the guts of Arnold Palmer, the beauty of Sam's swing, the shot-making ability of Hogan and the patience and temperament of Gandhi."

"You have certain basic things that you must do to hit good shots, and there are too many gimmicks going around now, guys making fortunes teaching people junk. You could put horse manure on an ice cream cone with whip cream and a cherry on top, and people will buy it if a top-30 Tour pro is selling it."

"... If you buy a book on golf instruction buy the thinnest book you can find. The thinner the book, chances are the easier and more elementary the instruction. It can do one of two things: help you more or hurt you less. Both are good compared to the alternative."

"I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking. See, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt."

"The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life."

“It's a custom in Puerto Rico for the father to have his sons light his cigarettes and hand them to him. That's how I started smoking when I was 10. I smoked three to four packs a day for close to 50 years, then quit. A year later the doctor said I had the lungs of a 15-year-old. Genetics are everything. My Uncle Jesus consumed a bottle of rum and five packs of cigarettes a day, and he lived to be 106.”

“God gave me fast hands. I was sitting at a bar one time with John Brodie. Out of the corner of his eye he saw my hands flash in the air. "What was that?" he asked. "I'm catching flies," I said. "If you caught a fly out of mid-air, I'll give you $100," John said. I opened both hands and tossed two flies on the table. I said, "Better make that $200."

“The best money player I ever saw was Doug Sanders. Here's how good Doug was: In 1964, I was practicing alongside Doug when a spectator called out, "Sanders, you don't hit it as straight as people say you do." Doug turned to the guy and pulled a sheaf of hundred-dollar bills from his money clip. "I'll hit one ball with this driver," he said, "and bet you a thousand dollars my caddie doesn't have to move more than two steps to catch it." The guy says, "You're on." Doug makes the guy show his thousand dollars. Then he hits the ball 255 yards, and the caddie catches it on one hop. His feet don't move. Doug takes the guy's $1,000 and goes back to practicing like nothing happened.”

“I had to jump a fence to play golf as a kid. The greenskeeper used to take shots at us with a gun. I don't think he was ever trying to hit us. He used to hit the trees above us with the bullets. That's one of the reasons I play so fast. “

“And people think that rich people have it easier. It's a fallacy. Poor people have it easier because a poor person never has anything to prove. If you're born rich, you have to prove yourself forever. Me, if I lose everything I have tomorrow, I always know I can sleep on the floor because I've done it before“.

“The average golf course still plays 99 strokes per round for amateurs. And if Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson and Sergio Garcia were playing with hickory shafts, they'd still shoot 20-under. They're better than we were. The guys that keep saying that it's the equipment, it's time [for them] to give credit where credit is due. These guys work out, they have vitamin enhancements, they work harder at the game”