Embarrassing story....so, tell everyone about it...

[Rockford35]

I arrived home today to find a nice packade sent by our roving reporter in the field at the PGA Mechandise show, none other than Ulatim Smith.

Enclosed were the following:

3 Grafalloy Epic temporary tatoos
Grafalloy Epic booklet
2007 Ecco Catalogue
1 plastic doo-dad that keeps your grips from getting wet on the green when you set them down. Pretty engenious actually.

As many of you know, I hold a hard stance against reading anything in the bathroom. I feel it's just wrong. It's too bad my convictions didn't stick today.

I felt the "urge to purge" and headed to the head. I decide, for some gawd-forsaken reason, the best thing to do was to take this package of Tim's into the can. Why? I haven't the foggiest. Maybe it would keep me from playing with something else, I dunno.

I have a seat on the throne, do some business, all the time flipping through some pages of the Grafalloy booklet. Then, as I get wind of myself, and I am rotten today, I've stunk myself back into reality to the point where I should leave for the betterment of mankind. Or, some reason that parallels that.

I go to get up, not noticing that I precariously balancing the Grip Dry on me leg.

Or, at least i was for a moment.

The unit slides between my legs, making a triple half gainer for a 5.9 into the pool with the rest of the kids.

I stand up, extremely perplexed.

"Should I grab that? That's pretty sick. dude. Or, do you think it would flush? There's no way i'm gonna be able to explain this to the plumber. Ok, you can boil your hand, right? No? Do we have any salad tongs that Megan wouldn't mind go missing? Does Dad still have my fishing rod, or is it here? Toilets are cheap, right?"

So, I reach in, and grab it. Standing there, laughing my ass off, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, pants at my ankles, hand holding a blue plastic golf trinket, wondering if I'll ever live this down.

After bleaching my hand and the Grip Dry, I gather what little self confidence I now have and head back to work.

If anyone else wants to try this thing out when I'm done, just PM me.

R35

PS....thanks again, Tim. I appreciate the efforts.

[Slingblade61]

Jesus, you are a pig!

I have about ten of those things, you could have just gotten a new one.

[DaveE]

I arrived home today to find a nice packade sent by our roving reporter in the field at the PGA Mechandise show, none other than Ulatim Smith.

Enclosed were the following:

3 Grafalloy Epic temporary tatoos
Grafalloy Epic booklet
2007 Ecco Catalogue
1 plastic doo-dad that keeps your grips from getting wet on the green when you set them down. Pretty engenious actually.

As many of you know, I hold a hard stance against reading anything in the bathroom. I feel it's just wrong. It's too bad my convictions didn't stick today.

I felt the "urge to purge" and headed to the head. I decide, for some gawd-forsaken reason, the best thing to do was to take this package of Tim's into the can. Why? I haven't the foggiest. Maybe it would keep me from playing with something else, I dunno.

I have a seat on the throne, do some business, all the time flipping through some pages of the Grafalloy booklet. Then, as I get wind of myself, and I am rotten today, I've stunk myself back into reality to the point where I should leave for the betterment of mankind. Or, some reason that parallels that.

I go to get up, not noticing that I precariously balancing the Grip Dry on me leg.

Or, at least i was for a moment.

The unit slides between my legs, making a triple half gainer for a 5.9 into the pool with the rest of the kids.

I stand up, extremely perplexed.

"Should I grab that? That's pretty sick. dude. Or, do you think it would flush? There's no way i'm gonna be able to explain this to the plumber. Ok, you can boil your hand, right? No? Do we have any salad tongs that Megan wouldn't mind go missing? Does Dad still have my fishing rod, or is it here? Toilets are cheap, right?"

So, I reach in, and grab it. Standing there, laughing my ass off, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, pants at my ankles, hand holding a blue plastic golf trinket, wondering if I'll ever live this down.

After bleaching my hand and the Grip Dry, I gather what little self confidence I now have and head back to work.

If anyone else wants to try this thing out when I'm done, just PM me.

R35

PS....thanks again, Tim. I appreciate the efforts.

Great story, but if I told the wife that one you might not ever get to come back. :laugh:

[SiberianDVM]

Hee, hee.

I used to know a veterinarian who would pick up dog turds with his bare hand.

In vet school, we had to palpate the ovaries of horses and cows. You do this by sticking your whole arm up their rectums. Doing it without an armlength glove was called "Texas style".

[Rockford35]

Jesus, you are a pig!

I have about ten of those things, you could have just gotten a new one.

Hey, you don't have to berate me. I feel bad enough as it is rescuing this thing from "the pool".

Good thing mouth to mouth wasn't needed, because we would have been moving.

R35

[ualtim]

Well, I guess the envelope arrived.


I got to use my grip dry this morning and it works like a charm, although it won't keep your grip dry and clean if you drop in the can.


You did the right thing, though. When I was still living in Illinois, my wife had this small Tigger figurine that use to sit on a shelf above the toilet. One day she somehow finds a way to drop it in the bowl and decides to flush rather than pull it out. Low and behold, it gets about halfway through the porcelain and gets stuck. Now all of a sudden its my fault that its stuck there. Couldn't get it dislodged with the snake so I end up having to pull the whole damn thing off of the seal and pull it out the bottom. Pain in the butt.

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Although, I don't think anyone will be asking to borrow your Grip Dry any time soon.:laugh:

[Rockford35]

I should have put one of those tatoos on my ass and had someone take a picture of me hauling that thing outta the toilet.

Y'know, just to bring it all together.

Wait. Maybe not. I'm sure alot of you don't want to see my bare ass. Doc maybe, but not the rest of you.

R35

[ualtim]

I should have put one of those tatoos on my ass and had someone take a picture of me hauling that thing outta the toilet.

Y'know, just to bring it all together.

Wait. Maybe not. I'm sure alot of you don't want to see my bare ass. Doc maybe, but not the rest of you.

R35

It might improve the looks of the Epic graffic.:laugh: Maybe Grafalloy would send you a free shaft if you sent that photo to them.

[JEFF4i]

That's absolutely disgusting. However, I cannot judge for given the extrenous circumstances, I cannot feel that I would act any different.

[SiberianDVM]

I should have put one of those tatoos on my ass and had someone take a picture of me hauling that thing outta the toilet.

Y'know, just to bring it all together.

Wait. Maybe not. I'm sure alot of you don't want to see my bare ass. Doc maybe, but not the rest of you.

R35

Bring it on. I'm from Georgia, remember?

"Take off them thar panties, too."

[JEFF4i]

Doc will give you a 10 CC Shot of Reproductive Fluids, STAT!

[Rockford35]

Doc will give you a 10 CC Shot of Reproductive Fluids, STAT!

That's my vote for the "mental picture that I didn't want" for the week.

You get nothing as a prize.



R35

[bames]

This cracks me up because just a few days ago after just taking a leak my two-yr old runs in and right as I flush throws a tennis ball into the now swirling liquid. After what felt like hours of deliberation between one side of me that really did not want to touch my own whiz and the other that really did not want to "fish" for the ball later, I just made a decision, threw the hand in and rescued the ball in utter disgust. I look over and my boy is staring at me with my pants (now down to my ankles) and a sopping tennis ball in one hand and a bewildered look of "what now?" on my face. Unfortunately Rock, I had all but forgotten about that dreadful day until now. Thanks. No really, thanks for the reminder.

[Rockford35]

I'm glad that I'm not the only sick and demented person on this site.

You are, no, really, you are.

R35

[Slingblade61]

You threw that tennis ball to the dog, didntcha?