Another tournament

[mddubya]

Well, after taking a month and a half off from my tournaments I gave it another try yesterday. I shouldn't have bothered,

This tourny was at a course nearby, so my Step-Son, the one who ALWAYS beats me, decided to play as a guest, which meant my wife decided to tag along to watch him play. Hmmmm, she has never came to watch me play? Anyway, she was literally late for our wedding, so naturally, I'm running late getting to the course waiting on her. Arrive just in time to sign in and find my playing partners. Oh great, the tour director put my Step-Son in my 4some, that was so nice of him,

Get signed in and run out to the truck to grab my clubs and shoes, $OB, I left my shoes in the other vehicle. Run inside again, the cheapest ones in my size are $95.00, F..k me running. No time to hit the driving range to warm up, just great.

Get on the 1st tee, one of the FEW holes on this course you can safely hit a driver and realize, Jesus Christ it's hot, 91º with NO breeze at all and 90% humidity. We were the 10:48 tee time BTW, at 11:20 the 10:40 group finally reached the green where we could tee off, short par 4. I go last so I can at least try and warm up behind the tee box. Hit my drive, 200 yard hook, but I can see where it landed and it's in bounds. But low and behold, it's behind a group of trees, but wait, there is a opening, granted, not a big opening, but an opening. Yeah yeah, I know, (can you see where this is going?) hacks should never try this, anyway, 2nd shot from 115 yards out finds a tree,actually several, surprise surprise, now I'm 140 out. Card an opening 7, ouch.

2nd hole, Par 4 dogleg left, I actually hit my 3 wood great and was in great shape in the fairway but pulled my approach shot left, chipped on, then 2 putted for a bogey, ok, not bad.

3rd hole, my step-son pulls out his driver and somehow threads one onto the NARROW fairway. I grab my 3 wood and hear, "pu$$y", now at this point, a smart man would have ignored this and gone ahead and hit his 3 wood, right? To bad I've never been accused of being overly intelligent so I grab my driver and...., you guessed it, hook it into the woods, card another 7,

Next hole has water all down the right, woods on the left, very narrow, so I grab my 3 wood, behind me I hear, "pu$$y". So what do I do, yep, grab the driver again and.........., hook another one into the woods. Hmmm, we seem to be developing a pattern here with the driver, doesn't seem to be working today. Actually found the ball this time, up against a tree, but made a spectacular left handed hack at it and advanced it 30 yards, card a 5 for another bogey.

Short par 3 next,over a ravine to a elevated green, came up just short and rolled down the hill. Blind pitch shot, hits the pin and goes in, Hoorayyyyyyyyyy, a birdie!!!!!!!

6th hole, a long par 5, water on both sides of a narrow fairway, grab the 3 wood, "pu$$y", grab driver, hook into the water. Yep, a definite pattern developing here. Drop 2, hitting 3 over water. I'm going to lay up left and short of the green, 'pu$$y", f..k it, I'm going for the green, "Houston, we have splash down" $on of Biatch, drop 4 hit 5, card an 8, Gawd I love this game,

Look, whats that heading down the cart path? The beverage cart girl, Thank You Lord, there is a God in heaven, stock up on cold beer.

I'll spare ya'll the next few holes, but I make the turn at 50, Geez Louise, can't get much worse than this, WRONG!!

Back nine pretty much a repeat of the front, Every time I grab my 3 wood or 3 iron to tee off I hear, "pu$$y", and for some insane reason I'd grab that evil driver and hook another one into the water or woods. I never did hit a good drive, all day long, but I am on a 1st name basis with the beverage cart girl now, Diane is such a nice girl,

So on the back nine I manage to shoot a spectacular friggin 60. For a 110, mind you, I played this exact course last Sunday, by myself, and shot a 90.

Why did I keep pulling my driver out, even though I knew it wasn't working yesterday? Especially when I know this course, and know there are only 3 holes you can safely hit a driver. That my friends, would be the 60 thousand dollar question.

BTW, I had a blast, even though I played horribly, I was laughing the whole time. Me and my Step-Son love to rib and rag each other on the course. Granted, usually I have enough sense to not let it effect my club selection, I'm blaming it on the heat.

[SiberianDVM]

Lordy, it was hot wasn't it?

I played here Saturday (93°F) and Sunday we were in Charleston for the LPGA (95°).

My next tourney is in 2 weeks. I shot an 80 on that course Saturday, and probably won't break 90 in the tourney.

[jojosasser]

Wow, thanks for the Monday-morning laugh. That was great! (Not your score, of course)

[swingsmooth]

I was literally laughing out loud!!!