Increased Expectations

[mddubya]

Guess I'm in a somewhat reflective mood. But as I was walking off the course this evening it hit me. I was upset, (momentarily), over shooting a 43. when 2 months ago, more or less 2 years ago, I'd have been delighted, ecstatic even, over shooting a 43 for 9 holes.

Isn't it rather funny how as our abilities increase, so do our expectations?

I mean, I'm hitting the ball better than I probably ever have, shooting the best scores consistently that I've ever posted. And suddenly, I'm wondering why I can't seem to go lower? Makes you, (well me at least), wonder, will we ever be satisfied?

I'm 49 years old, I didn't take golf up seriously until a little over 2 years ago. Granted, I played the game years ago, and fairly well. But I did take a 20 plus year lay off from it. So even though I play most every day it isn't raining, exactly what should my expectations be?

I hold no illusion of ever playing on the Champions Tour, and taking my age into account, I'm not even sure becoming a scratch golfer is attainable. I've reached the point where I hardly ever get blown off the course. I can play with most anybody now, and not embarrass myself. Well, other than the one or two blow up holes a round I can't seem to shake. So is there a point where we should accept, this is the best I'm ever going to be at the game? Or is it healthy to always strive to improve? And even if it is healthy, isn't there a point where no matter what we do, our age, and the inherent loss of mobility that comes with it, makes you realize that your not going to improve anymore. And in fact will most likely begin to regress?

Is everyone else constantly trying to get better, shoot a new all time low score, or am I the only one who can't seem to be satisfied, now matter how low I shoot?

[SilverUberXeno]

I feel like I should never hit a POOR shot. I can deal with missing, but I feel like I should never, ever, duff it, shank it, etc. So yes, expectations are subjective...

It's especially inspiring to me when I can hit a shot and say "Shit" to myself, and someone else will look at the same shot, and say "Nice ball."

Realistically, we are all not content unless we play to our cap, or better. And that happens, what, 1/6 times? Once you shoot a 35, you feel like you should be shooting 35. Suddenly a 43 seems like garbage.

[Wi-Golfer]

I understand where you are coming from Dub. Pretty much there myself. Can score just fine playing by myself with no pressure, but put me with friends & for some reason I expect to perform ata certain level & every single time I screw it up.

Scratch player is never going to happen, hell I doubt single digit handicap will ever happen & I am fine with that. Like yourself I can hang with those I play with & that's good enough for me.

Don't have the time, the inclination nor the desire to spend countless hrs practicing. What would that get me, bragging rights at work? Don't need it.

[warbirdlover]

Many years ago I came to the realization that I will be satisfied to shoot mid 40's for nine holes. When I hit the low 50's I get depressed. Being retired and playing almost every day I'm now shooting scores (alone like Wi-Golfer said) I've never attained before in 40+ years of golfing. And I've shot low 40's with others I've been paired with. I don't know how long this fluke (?) will go on by I'm truely enjoying it. Playing alot keeps your swing thoughts current and you become better I guess.

[mddubya]

Originally Posted by Wi-Golfer

I understand where you are coming from Dub. Pretty much there myself. Can score just fine playing by myself with no pressure, but put me with friends & for some reason I expect to perform ata certain level & every single time I screw it up.

Scratch player is never going to happen, hell I doubt single digit handicap will ever happen & I am fine with that. Like yourself I can hang with those I play with & that's good enough for me.

Don't have the time, the inclination nor the desire to spend countless hrs practicing. What would that get me, bragging rights at work? Don't need it.

Exactly Wi, I play most every afternoon with a group of guys, we walk 9 holes, sometimes a few more till it gets too dark. And I can play with them, match them pretty much shot for shot. Admittedly, only one of them is breaking 40 occasionally, but we have a blast, and rag each other non stop the whole time. And while I guess I do have the time to put in the range time to improve, I also don't have the inclination or desire. That and I know, if I play much more than I am now, my tendinitis will flare back up in my elbow

Originally Posted by warbirdlover

Many years ago I came to the realization that I will be satisfied to shoot mid 40's for nine holes. When I hit the low 50's I get depressed. Being retired and playing almost every day I'm now shooting scores (alone like Wi-Golfer said) I've never attained before in 40+ years of golfing. And I've shot low 40's with others I've been paired with. I don't know how long this fluke (?) will go on by I'm truely enjoying it. Playing alot keeps your swing thoughts current and you become better I guess.

Yep "J", playing a lot definitely helps you improve. I guess that is the silver lining to having been laid off. And I'm now able to shoot the same scores with others that I occasionally used to shoot alone. So that is a big improvement. And I have to a degree accepted the fact that I'm not likely to ever be a scratch golfer, and I suppose that has led to my improvement to an extent. Because I don't get upset when I do card a double, even the occasional triple bogey doesn't led to a eruption of anger like it used to.

Like I said, I can easily live with the fact I'm most likely never going to be a scratch golfer, or even a single digit handicapper. Although I have no idea what my cap actually is right now. But it would be great to be able to shoot under 40, even if it was just occasionally. I can and have flirted with it numerous times here of late. And I guess that was what led to this whole thread. Should I be upset I can't seem to break 40, or be satisfied I can at least now flirt with it?

[fisher]

I've only been playing for five years. In that time I've shaved nearly 30 strokes off my scores. What keeps me coming back is the goal of improving. I'm kind of running into a wall right now shooting between 36 and 40 consistantly for 9 holes. I keep pushing forward and try to learn something new every time out hoping to get the scores lower. I'm almost to a point though where I'd have to quit my day job to put more time into it.

[295yards]

It sounds like you are very grounded. The fact that you realize your improvement allows you to enjoy the game.
A few years into my game I was shooting low 90's and only broke 90 once with an 82, so for the group of guys I played with ( 100+ with mullies ) I was "good".
A guy started a job at my workplace and was an avid golfer so we decided to go out for a round together. He was a 5 handicap. I went on to shoot an 88 and him an 80. I loved my round but was more amazed to realize from watching him, How the tiny things could eat him up, like hitting a green in reg and lagging to 4ft to just lip out for bogey. Big deal.He only missed his cap by 3 strokes on a fairly tougher course than he was used to.
That day and everyday like that one where I watch "good" golfers who are better than me beat themselves up over a few stokes had me wonder..."if I'm always working to get my handicap lower, will I ever enjoy the game? Even worse, what if I shoot a bad round from where I am currently?"
I recently reshafted my driver and fell in love, hit fairways and somehow was even longer with an X stiff shaft. Shot my lowest round too. I barely ever break 80 but went out and posted a 67. That streak ( once ) is dead and for some reason I cannot even hit the ball well.
I am taking a two week layoff, maybe more ( I think my body is breaking down or something; even my practice swing feels off ), but when I go back I hope I will strike the ball reasonably well and I think I will always be happy if I can at least shoot a mid
80's game.
There's too many strokes that you can give away on the course to worry about numbers. Imagine being a 3 capper and going bogey, triple after two holes. You could realistically shoot the lights out from here but if you get caught up with numbers you may never see it.

[FATC1TY]

Originally Posted by SilverUberXeno

I feel like I should never hit a POOR shot. I can deal with missing, but I feel like I should never, ever, duff it, shank it, etc. So yes, expectations are subjective...

It's especially inspiring to me when I can hit a shot and say "Shit" to myself, and someone else will look at the same shot, and say "Nice ball."

Spoken truth.. I'll hit a shot, and KNOW I could have done better. Or know that it wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it didn't punish me. Partners will say it was a nice shot, or how crazy it was to pull that off, when under my breath, I'm cursing myself.

I'm not a great golfer, but I haven't been playing very long. But I'm happy to have a front or a back in the low 40's. Anything over 46, I'm fuming, but would have known that because it only takes 2 holes to destroy your card.

I think it's healthy to have higher expectations, and to hold yourself to them, but be flexible. The law of averages will always hold true, and while you might card a 38 on day, and then 47 the next.. Don't automatically assume that you'll be in the high 30's next round.

But on the other side.. If you just go out, and hack, and don't TRY to get better, then whats the point? I can shoot whatever and KNOW I left too much out there. I can easily go through each hole, and know of 1 stroke generally that I could have shaved. I work to change that everytime I pick up my clubs.