Best man speech help

[EnglishGolfer]

I've got the honour of being best man for my mate and I'm putting a speech together gradually and would appreciate any input you rabble might have joke wise.

I thought I'd made a good start on it but when I was out my wife found it and reduced it to two paragraphs from a page and half of A4. Apparently I was a bit too rude.

[Bravo]

Why did your wife reduce the number of pages? Best Man speeches are notorious for being long winded.

I enjoy doing these things. I did one for my dad on his 75th birthday and had them rolling in the aisles.

Obvious points:

1) Think of things about your friend that are widely known to the audience - quirks, funny things that have happened to him etc. Speak to these points. My dad has several funny quirks and I got a lot of laughs out of these as everyone knew what they were.

2) Then the opposite - tell stories about him that few people know that are funny. You are your close friends will likely know about these.

3) Throw in a few toasts. You've got to get plenty of liquor flowing....

4) Be careful about shots and references to the bride...that could start a lifetime of illwill from her family. This should be a manly thing.

5) A good way to start is to stand up and tinkle your water glass with a fork...then start with your mate's boyhood...it seems to get a flow going, then you weave in the jokes and stories as he grows older. This gives you a guideline to keep in your head.

6) Last - write a poem. We have done this on several occasions with weddings, milestone birthdays 40, 50 etc. In many cases, the audience will not be "IN" on what you reference but the guys will and they will have a blast with it...

[LyleG]

I have been the best man at 4 weddings and have tremendous success with the speeches.

My advice is to really sit back and think about your relationship with your buddy.
Think about all his quirks, think hard, there are probably plenty of things you have never noticed unless you think carefully about them.

Be sure to avoid anything involving other women, illegal activities, and things that would have the seniors in the crowd looking pale from.

Poke fun, crack jokes, but in the end be sure to let him, and everyone else know that you are sincerely happy and honered to be there doing what you are doing.

Have fun with it, I cherished every one and hope to hell I get at least one more chance.

[Slingblade61]

I made a speech at my father's wedding in May.....brought the house down, if I do say so myself.

(This is something I had seen done before so I thought I'd give it a try)

The night before, I attended a reception. I recruited 6 women there to play a gag on dad.

I gave each of them a blank house key that I had purchased at a hardware store and filled them in on the plot.

Before I gave the 'speech' some one else spoke and made mention of what a ladies man my father was, etc...

I stood up and expanded on that. I said that as his only son I felt it was now my duty to clean up his 'little black book'.

I said, "as much as it may pain some of you, Dad is officially off the market and I must ask that those of you who have a key to his place, please bring them to me now."

Suddenly, my "plants" started to come up and bring me the key I had given them the night before. One woman held back and offered me money to be able to keep the key. Two men, who had not been recruited, made light and offered me silverware (in lieu of a key).....it was a scream!

Anyway, I inserted the appropriate good wishes at the end and later, with keys in hand, I presented them to the bride....mission accomplished.

[Bravo]

Sling...now that's clever....a big bow...