The parrot... he's dead!!!!

[limpalong]

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'



'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'



'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'



'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'



'Si, Senor, that's the one.'



'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'



'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.' 'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'



'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'



'Dead horse? What dead horse?'



'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'



'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'



'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'



'Are you insane?? What water cart?'



'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'



'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'



'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'



'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?? !!'



'Yes, Senor Rod.'



'But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?'



'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'



'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'



'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G10 driver... right out of your golf bag.'



SILENCE . . . . . . . . .LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . . . .






'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!'

[MCDavis]

PING! It's that good.

[loftgolf]

I don't find dead parrot jokes to be funny at all, and this is why. After receiving a year-end bonus from my job I decided to spend part of it on a parrot. I've always wanted a parrot so today was the day. I went to the pet shop the next town over and found a beautiful blue and gold parrot named Petey. The pet shop owner guaranteed the parrot would talk, and talk very well, once he was comfortable with his new surroundings. About a week later, after not hearing a single word from Petey, I contacted the pet shop owner demanding a refund. He told me to calm down as there was probably a very easy remedy for his not talking. He explained that some times, as a parrot ages it's beak grows too fast and it makes it hard for the parrot to speak. He suggested I file a very small amount off the end of Petey's beak, being VERY careful to not file too much. I decided to take his advice and it did not turn out well! I stormed into the pet shop with my now dead parrot, Petey. I confronted a very upset pet shop owner that stated this has NEVER happened before. "Did you file too much off his beak?", he asked me. I replied that I hadn't and I followed his directions exactly. As you can imagine, he was speechless but inquired if anything else could've hurt Petey. I was pissed, but took a few deep breathes and in a calm tone stated that nothing else could've harmed him and I did exactly what I was told to do and when I pulled Petey out of the vise he was dead!!!

[eclark53520]

Very nice guys! Very nice!

[slickpitt]

bwahahahahah!

[chemboy2]

Good start to a Friday, thanks guys!