R35 I bow in defeat...

[Youngun5]

red lobster..... i went after a funeral so wasn't in the right mindset but thats not an excuse, i wasted too much room on salad and biscuits, could only get in 90 before i had to leave, but i could've only managed maybe 110 if time allowed,

i warn you that i'm just entering my prime, your mark of 180 will be mine

pizza contest will be done whenever, still trying to find someone to do it with me to make it more fun

[Big Brother Dunk]

180 what?

[Youngun5]

shrimp, red lobster has an all you can eat special

[Rockford35]

To be honest, it was 170. My friend had 206. Then he went to volleyball practice. He's a sick, sick man. A remorseless eating machine, if you will.

90 is weak. I'll give you the benefit, as you are a rookie.

My key is drinking a huge drink about 6 hours prior. This expands you stomach, and you just piss it out anyways. Also, you have to drink a non-carbonated beverage while consuming, i always go with the Iced Tea.

Not that I have thought it through or anything.....lol.

R35

[SiberianDVM]

Jeez, what a couple of rookies. I have a 60 year old little old lady technician at work who can shrimp eat both of you guys under the table. I once saw her eat shrimp for 2 solid hours: 8 bowls.

Cholesterol? Feck cholesterol!

[Rockford35]

Our eating rounds last at least 4 hours, if not longer. Also add in to that total a starter salad, a bunch of those sweet, sweet biscuits and about 2 L in Iced Tea.

Old ladies? Step up, dude!

R35

[Youngun5]

i need to hit this when i have time to kill, i always have to leave before i can get my fill the pizza challenge is mine, and i also hear a rumor about a taco bell challenge,

i'm just warming up....

[Davebud]

I have had 33 in 30 minutes. Never tried to eat them till I couldn't eat any more though. Just most in a half hour contests.

[Silver]

what kinda cheeseburgers?

[Davebud]

Thats the right size any how, the actual place to get them was at the 29 cent Hamburger stand. They are the same size as a McDonalds plain old cheeseburger.

I have eaten a large Dominos Deluxe in 6 minutes, I am not sure how much I can eat at the top end, but I can eat a lot fast.

[Rockford35]

According to The Guinness Book of World Records for most hamburgers eaten within twelve minutes was 21 burgers including the buns, each weighing 98 grams. About 2.1kg of cheesburgers.


A McDonalds cheesburger is 115grams.

33 in 30 minutes is 3795grams, or 3.8kg.

You're on a world record pace.


R35

[IrishGolfer]

Chris: Hey, Gordoe, why don't you tell us a story?
Gordie: I - I don't know.
Chris: Oh come on.
Vern: Yeah, come on, Gordoe. But not one of your horror stories, okay? I don't wanna hear no horror stories. I'm not up for that, man.
Teddy: Why don't you tell us one about Sergeant Stone and his battling leathernecks?
Gordie: Well the one I've been thinking about is kind of different. It's about this pie-eating contest. And the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan.
Vern: Like Charlie Hogan's brother. If he had one.
Chris: Good Vern. Go on, Gordie.
Gordie: Well this kid is our age but he's fat, real fat. He weighs close to one-eighty. But you know it's not his fault it's his glands.
Vern: Oh yeah, my cousin's like that, sincerely. She weighs over three hundred pounds. Supposed to be Hyboid Gland or something. Well I don't know about any Hyboid Glands, but what a blimp. No shit. She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey. And you know this one time –
Chris: Shut up, Vern.
Vern: Yeah, yeah, right. Go on, Gordie, it's a swell story.
Gordie: Well all the kids instead of calling him Davie they call him Lardass; Lardass Hogan. Even his little brother and sister call him Lardass. At school they put a sticker on his back that says 'wide load,' and they rank him out and beat him up whenever they got a chance. But one day he gets an idea. The greatest revenge-idea a kid ever had.

Mayor: The thing on? Can you hear me? Now the next contestant in the great tri-county pie-eat Principal John Wiggins! And our celebrity-contestant from K-L-A-M in Portland, the Bossman himself; Bob Cormier!
Cormier: Hey, from the racks and stacks it's the best on wax. How about another olden golden twin spin sound set? With K-L-A-M in Portland . . . i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-t's . . .
Crowd: Boss!
Mayor: A newcomer to the pie-eat but one we expect great things from in the future. Young master David Hogan!
(Lardass Hogan trips on steps)
Travis: Are you alright, young man?
Heckler 1: Hey, Lardass, how was your trip?
Travis: I hear you got a big appetite, Lardass, don't even think about winning this.
Heckler 2: Boy are you fat!
Mayor: Don't pay any attention to those fools, Lardass -uh- Davie.
Crowd: Boom-baba-boom-baba-boom-baba-boom-baba-boom.
Mayor: And now the one you've all been waiting for, the four-time champion, our own Bill Travis! Listen, I got ten riding on you myself, Billy-boy. Alright, are you ready? Hands behind your backs, gentlemen! Drumroll !
Twins: Hey, Lardass! Chow down, wide load!
Mayor: Ha, ha, ha. GO!
Various: Done!
Mayor: You better pace yourself if you wanna hold out, boy.
Crowd: Lardass! Lardass!
Gordie: What the audience didn't know was that Lardass wasn't really interested in winning. What he wanted was revenge. And right before he was introduced he'd gotten ready for it.
[Just before the pie-eating contest, Lardass drank a huge bottle of Castor Oil and swallowed a raw egg.]
Crowd: Lardass! Lardass!
Various: Done!
Gordie: By the time he was eating his fifth pie, Lardass began to imagine that he wasn't eating pies, he pretended he was eating cowflops and rat guts in blueberry-sauce.
Crowd: Lardass! Lardass! Lardass: Done!
Gordie: Slowly a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound like a log-truck coming at you at a hundred miles an hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth. And before Bill Travis knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier take one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins. Principal Wiggins barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelly-twins barfed on each other. And the women's auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total Barf-A-Rama.
C,T,V: Yeah!
Chris: Now that was the best, just the best.
Vern: Yeah.
Teddy: What happened?
Gordie: What do you mean?
Teddy: I mean, what happened?
Gordie: What do you mean what happened? That's the end.
Teddy: How can that be the end, what kind of an ending is that? What happened to Lardass?
Gordie: I don't know. Maybe he went home and celebrated with a couple of cheeseburgers.
Teddy: Jeeze. That sucks. Why don't you make it so that Lardass goes home, an' he shoots his father. An' he runs away. An' - an' he joins the Texas- Rangers. How about that?
Gordie: I - I don't know.
Teddy: Something good like that.
Vern: I like the ending. The barfing was really good. But there is one thing I didn't understand. Did Lardass have to pay to get into the contest?
Gordie: No, Vern, they just let him in.
Vern: Oh! Oh great. Great story.

[Davebud]

You mean to tell me I could be the world record holder in anything? My best friend and I can both do it, he has already achieved his 15 minutes on Fox Networks "Dumbass human tricks" or some stupid show with a similar name. If you saw it he was the bannana head that blew up the giant pumkin while he was on it. Fox gave him 4500 bucks for the video and he was on National TV, now you are telling me for somethin almost equally stupid I can be in the Guiness Book?

[Youngun5]

although i eat mass quantities, i like to enjoy my food once in a while....

[Rockford35]

Originally Posted by Davebud

You mean to tell me I could be the world record holder in anything? My best friend and I can both do it, he has already achieved his 15 minutes on Fox Networks "Dumbass human tricks" or some stupid show with a similar name. If you saw it he was the bannana head that blew up the giant pumkin while he was on it. Fox gave him 4500 bucks for the video and he was on National TV, now you are telling me for somethin almost equally stupid I can be in the Guiness Book?

LOL. Ya man, you are top shelf!

"...he was the bannana head that blew up the giant pumkin while he was on it."

This is the funniest thing i've heard since Dave told me about the two gay sweaters he got for Christmas one year and had his children mock him about it........LOL....

R35