Absurd Golf Magazine covers...

[Bravo]

I often have my golf magazines in the bathroom and was noticing the cover of the March issue of GOLF.

Here were the 'instructional' descriptions:

1) How to be the guy who never loses a match
2) How to turn 4-footers into tap-ins
3) Hit the shot you want every time.

I mean - get real here - if they were able to accomplish this by the subscriber reading the magazine, you'd be able to beat Tiger.

Amazing Claims No??

[ThatCanadianGuy]

What else are they goingto put on there?

-reading this will do nothing for your game
-Don't waste your time
-101 ways to hit a shank. ( I have perfected about 5-6 BTW )
-a bunch of useless information
-a waste of paper

[ualtim]

Does the assclench work as well in the bathroom as it does on the course?


If you were to believe all the claims on the covers of Golf and Golf Digest, I would have "saved" about 57 strokes off my handicap each year I read both magazines. Yes, sir, I am now a +1028 handicapper.

[Bravo]

Originally Posted by ualtim

Does the assclench work as well in the bathroom as it does on the course?

If I used it in the bathroom, I would be reaching for Preparation H all the time....

[ualtim]

Originally Posted by ThatCanadianGuy

What else are they goingto put on there?

-reading this will do nothing for your game
-Don't waste your time
-101 ways to hit a shank. ( I have perfected about 5-6 BTW )
-a bunch of useless information
-a waste of paper

It should be the truth:

-Taylor Made/Addidas spent a lot of money on advertising, plesae buy their stuff
-Callaway has spent a mint on advertising, don't you need a new driver?
-The latest in Golf Gimicary: What the hell, its only 3 payments of $29.95 give it a shot.
-David Feherty: Skip the trash and go right to the back page.

[ualtim]

Originally Posted by Bravo

If I used it in the bathroom, I would be reaching for Preparation H all the time....

I envison the assclench to be sort of "pre shot" routine. Perform the assclench, run to the bathroom, and release.

After a hard night of beverages, you can not tell me the above scenario has not occured.

[Bravo]

Originally Posted by ualtim

I envison the assclench to be sort of "pre shot" routine. Perform the assclench, run to the bathroom, and release.

After a hard night of beverages, you can not tell me the above scenario has not occured.

hehehe...the best laugh of the day by far....

[Sandy]

Inspired by this thread I just went to look through all the covers of the old golf magazines I keep in my 'reading room' (the reading room that happens to have a bath, sink and toilet in it) and see what difference it would make if I followed their advice on my driving.

The good news is that, from their covers, I could add a staggering 255 yards onto my drives if I read their articles and used their tips and drills!

Watch out par 5s, here I come!!!

[irfan]

lookin thru some back issues here are some winners:
-hit any green from 200+ yards
-chunk proof your chips
-15 more yards of carry, 10 more yards of rolls
-chip it close EVERY time!
-Save 6 shots by saturday
-the ONE tip that will change your game
-Hit it LONG & STRAIGHT
-bomb your drives, target your irons, tsick your wedges
-The secret left arm "L" power coil
-Gain 25 yards with a bad swing!

and my favs:
-How you can CRUSH IT! til your head for 10 extra yards
--close your stance for 15 more!
---try the baseball turn to add another 20!!

-Hit the Shot you want, every time

and...

-"You can BUY a better game. We guarantee it!"

[Mors Ab Alto]

Originally Posted by irfan

-"You can BUY a better game. We guarantee it!"

I posted a thread about this very subject a few months back, and this was the cover that prompted me to do so. The very idea that by purchasing new equipment, I could become a better golfer, well that just blew my fuse. I decided then and there to cancel my subscriptions to GD and GM. However, I do rip out the David Feherty section out of old GMs I find at my course. The only good part of that magazine.