Supermatch in Portstewart under threat !

[Dave Ireland]

I've just got off the phone to herself.

Background info : We have 2 family sized saloon cars. I get the train to work, my car the bigger of the two remains in the driveway Mon-Fri other than dropping kids to c/minder. The boss on the otherhand does a lot of business miles (36,000 in 2 years). We had an outline conversation a few weeks ago, where we decided to rationalise the car situation. We were thinking of selling mine - then using some of the money to buy me a run around - rest of the money plus a trade-in of hers was to fund a nice big diesel guzzling suv.

Eh guess what ? unknown to me.... she wants to take my car to work tomorrow as she has a buyer for it !! ....she's even agreed a tentative price for it FFS !! In one way I can't reject the hard cash - if he wants the car - but by the same token , it leaves me high and dry for transport north to da Port.

I don't feel too bad now smuggling all those ho'ed clubs into the house. IG I'll be in contact

[Bravo]

Good God man go in style to the match. Take some of the cash and hire a limo for the ride...

You deserve it.

Now lets get the discussion going on this match. How are we going to determine strokes for KA?? Anybody know his index?

And for that matter, who controls handicapping in the Middle East?

[DaveE]

Let me get this straight. You might not be able to play because your wife is selling your car out from under you.

Have to agree with Bravo that you need to find a way to get there just don't forget your skirt.

[IrishGolfer]

Do you realise that you are picking up Da Masta en route? This now goes beyond just you. Tell the misses that you need a car to pick up and spend the day with a 16 year old stranger you met on a web forum. She's sure to understand. She'll probably give you the car for the day, make you a lovely cooked breakfast, clean your clubs and press your strides. She'll go out and buy you a box of ProVs for good luck and throw rose petals over you as you depart with Tammy Winette's "Sometimes it's hard to be a woman" whining in the background. A tear will spring from her eye as she waves you farewell, "Hurry back my Sweet Dave to my lovin' arms!"

So what's your move with da missus? Get it sorted or do I need to get the choppa fired up?

[Dave Ireland]

Well there's good and bad news .... the guy whose interested can't make the tyre kicking inspection tomorrow, which means that he doesn't get to see it til next week. I'm hoping if it's late in the week that I can dilly dally and keep the car til after Portstewart. Only problem being that he sees another 500 miles on da clock

As an alternative ....I was gonna suggest me getting a train, but the railway system isn't great up the north, point of fact being that some eejit parked a car on the railtrack there yesterday up around where IG lives !!

I'm all for handing out a lesson to da champ .. but how am I gonna explain being invloved in a rail derailment when I've told herself I've a day long symposium

[IrishGolfer]

Originally Posted by Dave Ireland

I've told herself I've a day long symposium

That's one of those symposiums that you get a sun tan at, eh? I hear you also get you lunch included.

I haven't crossed that domestic bridge yet. What to tell the wife?

"Honey I'm off to play golf all day long with 3 guys I met on a golf web-site"
followed by picture, no sound for the next 2 weeks.

"I'm going to be tied up all day in meetings on Monday. I'll have the mobile switched off and am working off-site".
followed by IG knotted with guilt and the fear of getting caught. Some local mentioning to her indoors, "Oh, I saw IG playing on Monday with three strangers, were they new clients? One of them looked a bit young and mouthy".

God, it's a sordid old business this golf lark. That and the club ho'ing, it's worse than cheatin' on da missus.

[Rosmo]

I somtimes wonder at what the wife would be more pissed about...having an affair or her finding out how much I ACTUALLY spend on golf instead of what I just tell her I do

"One of them looked a bit young and mouthy"...HILARIOUS!!!

[DaveE]

Let me know if you get it figured out Irish. I'm facing a similar dilema with the missus regarding the November outing.

I mentioned the idea to her and got a sarcastic response kinda like, "great idea honey, flying to Alabama to play golf with people you met on the internet sounds brilliant. Be sure to take lots of cash".

I've moved on to explaining it to my oldest daughter figuring if she's on my side there may be hope of her influencing the wife.

There's still Rockford and the sheep to explain but I'll deal with that later.

[Dave Ireland]

Originally Posted by IrishGolfer

That's one of those symposiums that you get a sun tan at, eh? I hear you also get you lunch included.

I haven't crossed that domestic bridge yet. What to tell the wife?

"Honey I'm off to play golf all day long with 3 guys I met on a golf web-site"
followed by picture, no sound for the next 2 weeks.

"I'm going to be tied up all day in meetings on Monday. I'll have the mobile switched off and am working off-site".
followed by IG knotted with guilt and the fear of getting caught. Some local mentioning to her indoors, "Oh, I saw IG playing on Monday with three strangers, were they new clients? One of them looked a bit young and mouthy".

God, it's a sordid old business this golf lark. That and the club ho'ing, it's worse than cheatin' on da missus.

I have a "reasonably" clear conscience IG, I told herself about me mate up in Portstewart and how you were always askin me up for a game.

I might have a slightly greater issue with explining why I'm going to Alabama in November to Bravo

[Dave Ireland]

Originally Posted by DaveE

Let me know if you get it figured out Irish. I'm facing a similar dilema with the missus regarding the November outing.

I mentioned the idea to her and got a sarcastic response kinda like, "great idea honey, flying to Alabama to play golf with people you met on the internet sounds brilliant. Be sure to take lots of cash".

I've moved on to explaining it to my oldest daughter figuring if she's on my side there may be hope of her influencing the wife.

There's still Rockford and the sheep to explain but I'll deal with that later.

I'll light a candle for both of us then so Dave

[Bravo]

Originally Posted by Dave Ireland

I have a "reasonably" clear conscience IG, I told herself about me mate up in Portstewart and how you were always askin me up for a game.

I might have a slightly greater issue with explining why I'm going to Alabama in November to Bravo

I'll make this one easy for you.

You are coming here to meet the new Governor who is scouting for new industrial plants...

He helped recruit Honda and Mercedes - who built factories in our area...

Tell the missus that Bushmills is considering opening a US distillery and you are on the prowl for American locations.

[Bama Duffer]

That's a great suggestion, Bravo. We could do worse than a Bushmill's distillery. Although I'm not sure how excited our Guv would be to seek a distiller, especially after the problems surrounding our "official state whiskey": http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturd.../whiskey.shtml.

Depending on when you guys play in November, I might try to come up myself. My wife won't sell my car, so I'll have transportation.

[VtDivot]

Originally Posted by Dave Ireland

Well there's good and bad news .... the guy whose interested can't make the tyre kicking inspection tomorrow, which means that he doesn't get to see it til next week. I'm hoping if it's late in the week that I can dilly dally and keep the car til after Portstewart. Only problem being that he sees another 500 miles on da clock

Suggestion - rent Ferris Beuller's day off. This should solve your dilemma.. well not really...

[Dave Ireland]

Originally Posted by VtDivot

Suggestion - rent Ferris Beuller's day off. This should solve your dilemma.. well not really...

Funny you should mention Ferris Bueller , coz yer man Matthew Broderick while on holiday here oh must be 15 years or so ago was involved in a car accident in which 2 people died ... well it's not funny... more a coicidence

[IrishGolfer]

Originally Posted by Dave Ireland

Funny you should mention Ferris Bueller , coz yer man Matthew Broderick while on holiday here oh must be 15 years or so ago was involved in a car accident in which 2 people died ... well it's not funny... more a coicidence

Unbelievable Dave

My brother met MB in Dublin a few years ago. It was at a play and he got backstage to the green room. Guests included MB and his missus Sarah Jessica Palmer (SitC). Long story short, didn't he go up to MB and say "So been on any driving holidays recently?" It was met with total silence with MB doing an exit stage left very shortly afterwards.

Of course my brother thought he was being hillarious. Word is MB bought his way out of doing a stretch for his car carnage.

I still love Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Anyway, called The Master yet?