2006 US Ryder Cup Team Announced

[Bravo]

HI everybody - this is Jim Nance with CBS Sports. Today I am here with Jim Awtrey - President of the PGA of America....

Jim Awtrey: "Hi Jim, good to be with you today".

Jim Nance: "Same with you. This is very very surprising that you are naming the 2006 team only one week after the conclusion of the 2004 Ryder Cup competition. Tell us about that"

JA: Well, after that butt-kicking last week, I had to do something.

JN: Yes, looks like the Americans just didn't show up.

JA: I agree with that so here we go with the 2006 Team. My first two selections are Jim Furyk and Chris DeMarco. Furyk played like a man possessed and DeMarco was really into the spirit of the event. I like them both Jim.

JN: Well these are excellent selections and if past performance is any indicator, they will do a fine job at the K Club in Ireland in 2006. The only two players to really make great contributions to the 2004 effort. Who's next?

JA: The next 10 members of the team are a group of weekend golfers from East McKeesport, PA. Here they are:

1) Seamus O' Reilly
2) Padraig O' Malley
3) Kerry Flynn
4) Sean Brady
5) Ryan Quinn
6) Kelly Sullivan
7) David Murphy
8) Shannon O'Leary
9) Sean O'Neil
10) Tip Kennedy


JN: This is shocking Jim. You have announced an American Ryder cup team consisting of 2 professionals and ten amateurs. What's going on?

JA: Well Jim, the way I see it - there's a good chance we're going to get our asses kicked again so I decided to think outside the box.

JN: What do you mean?

JA: Well the top professionals in America continue to show a lack of interest in the Ryder Cup, not to mention all of the back biting, arguing and griping about pairings. The team dinners have been an utter disaster. I'm tired of these guys. They act like pampered babies. Phil and Tiger don't want to play with each other, etc. I am sick of it!!!

JN: Well Furyk and DeMarco look like great choices - but 10 amateurs??? And - wait a minute here - judging from these names - these are all Irish-Americans. Is that true??

JA: Yes Jim, these are all Irish-Americans from the East McKeesport PA Paddy O'Malley Wednesday morning Dogfight group.

JN: Well very interesting. Tell me about your thinking on this one Jim.

JA: As you know, the war in Iraq has made America the most hated country in the world. We are seen as war mongers and invaders, instead of a peace-loving country.

And since we were going to get our asses kicked in the Ryder Cup again - I decided to take the diplomatic route as a way of elevating America's image in other parts of the globe.

So I have selected a group of hard drinking Irish-Americans who can sing, "OH DANNY BOY" at the top of their lungs.

We're aiming to win the singing competions over there in 2006. If we can't win ON the course - let's at least win Off the course.

JN: Well OK - who have you named as Captain??

JA: We're going with John Daly, Jim.

JN: Daly? As Captain??

JA: Yep, I saw John a couple of weeks ago and he has fallen fully off the wagon. Give him two more years and he'll be a complete lush. His nose will look like WC Fields by then.

No better guy to lead the team in several rounds of Irish drinking songs.

JN: Well Jim, thanks for your time today and we look forward to the 2006 Ryder Cup at the K Club...

[Youngun5]

bravo at the top of his game everyone


:yellow:

[DaveE]

Top notch stuff Bravo. :groupwave

[IrishGolfer]

Bravo

I'll look forward to pouring Irish whiskey down your neck in 2005. Then make sure we get nice early tee times for the week. Day 1 will feel great. Day 5 will feel like "Hell on Earth".

We'll see how many Cider Cup US players you can name then.

IG

[bdcrowe]

Originally Posted by IrishGolfer

Bravo

I'll look forward to pouring Irish whiskey down your neck in 2005. Then make sure we get nice early tee times for the week. Day 1 will feel great. Day 5 will feel like "Hell on Earth".

We'll see how many Cider Cup US players you can name then.

IG

I named my new ferret "Bailey" in your honor, you Irish Cream, you...

[IrishGolfer]

Originally Posted by bdcrowe

I named my new ferret "Bailey" in your honor, you Irish Cream, you...

It must be female. As only females would consume whiskey destroyed by cream. It's bad enough putting water in it but cream, man, cream!!

You should rename it Bushmills, Paddy or Middleton. Bushy may go down better.

How is Bushy keeping?

btw howdyalike the swing man? (See pics). I was humping it that day on the range. As was once famously said ("If I'd a swing like that I'd put it in my back garden" - works better when viewing female posteriors).

It didn't look like that the next day, as I crawled outa bed after an extremely heavy sampling session. Looked more like the toilet door on a fishing trawler in high seas.

:repuke:

[Rockford35]

The 2006 team has a ferret named Bailey on it?

Man, the US has sunk to a new low......but maybe it will get some points for them....

R35

[bdcrowe]

Originally Posted by IrishGolfer

It must be female. As only females would consume whiskey destroyed by cream. It's bad enough putting water in it but cream, man, cream!!

You should rename it Bushmills, Paddy or Middleton. Bushy may go down better.

How is Bushy keeping?

btw howdyalike the swing man? (See pics). I was humping it that day on the range. As was once famously said ("If I'd a swing like that I'd put it in my back garden" - works better when viewing female posteriors).

It didn't look like that the next day, as I crawled outa bed after an extremely heavy sampling session. Looked more like the toilet door on a fishing trawler in high seas.

:repuke:

It is, in fact, a female. Bailey was a compromise with the better half. She refused to call the little critter "Guiness", Stouty, Jamie, or Bushie. I almost had her with (Bush)Millie, but alas it came down to Bailey.

[IrishGolfer]

Originally Posted by bdcrowe

It is, in fact, a female. Bailey was a compromise with the better half. She refused to call the little critter "Guiness", Stouty, Jamie, or Bushie. I almost had her with (Bush)Millie, but alas it came down to Bailey.

I'm sticking with Bushy. I would like a photo and progress reports on my new best friend. In times of trouble I know I can turn to Bush(y)!!





Who's the dude with the Union Jack smiley? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - >

[bdcrowe]

Good looking swing, BTW. You on tour yet?

[IrishGolfer]

Originally Posted by bdcrowe

Good looking swing, BTW. You on tour yet?

I applied for the Hooters Tour. Got knockered back...devastated!!!!

BTW the guy behind me made the team and I was first reserve. He's got a horrible swing. Like a weak lung I collapse under pressure or alcohol.

[Bravo]

Originally Posted by IrishGolfer

Bravo

I'll look forward to pouring Irish whiskey down your neck in 2005. Then make sure we get nice early tee times for the week. Day 1 will feel great. Day 5 will feel like "Hell on Earth".

We'll see how many Cider Cup US players you can name then.

IG

I am looking forward to this. In fact - in parallel with our discussions about a trip over there - some of my friends have already started talking about a Scotland/Ireland golf trip.

One of my friends (last name Connolly) was describing in an email - the difference between Irish whiskey and Scottish whisky.

Here it is:

In Ireland, they roast the malted barley in closed ovens; in Scotland, they roast the malted barley over open peat fires. The true malted barley flavor is released without the masking from the peat smoke. Irish whiskey is distilled thrice, scotch whisky only twice. Good Irish whiskey is lighter and smoother than its Scottish counterpart.

Is this true? If it is - should we insult the Scots before OR after we play there?

BTW - I will PM you and Dave about the latest developments from this side of the pond....

[IrishGolfer]

Originally Posted by Bravo

I am looking forward to this. In fact - in parallel with our discussions about a trip over there - some of my friends have already started talking about a Scotland/Ireland golf trip.

One of my friends (last name Connolly) was describing in an email - the difference between Irish whiskey and Scottish whisky.

Here it is:

In Ireland, they roast the malted barley in closed ovens; in Scotland, they roast the malted barley over open peat fires. The true malted barley flavor is released without the masking from the peat smoke. Irish whiskey is distilled thrice, scotch whisky only twice. Good Irish whiskey is lighter and smoother than its Scottish counterpart.

Is this true? If it is - should we insult the Scots before OR after we play there?

BTW - I will PM you and Dave about the latest developments from this side of the pond....

You forgot the most important bit...we invented it! These Scots boys came across the irish sea, stole it and messed up the process, getting an inferior brew which they tehn insisted in changing the spelling