Do you give 'lessons'?

[grizzmoose]

So we have all been paired up with strangers who are in desperate need of even the slightest tip to improve their game. Some of the time, we may be in a position to give a pointer or two. How often do you all open your mouths and help out rather than keep quiet and discretely shake your head when see the folly?

On the flip side, how do you feel when you, a fairly experienced golfer, gets someone telling you what you should do different. When do you welcome it and when do you feel like telling them to shut the H up?

I got paired up with a guy the other day who had the whole bag of sweet clubs, pretty headcovers, and brand new shoes. I dont think he had ever played golf before. On the very first hole, I end up in a greenside bunker with a nice sand and an easy up hill lie. Before I even step in the sand, he come over and tells me to make sure I dont chop at the ball, pretend there is a dollar bill behind the ball and hit the sand there, and make sure I follow through. All good tips, but come on, it was a par 5, I was pin high in two, and I think he was already hitting 9. Its funny now, but a little annoying when it happens. How do you guys handle stuff like this?

[cabinessence]

I almost never give help, and given that I'm usually beating the people I play with, almost never get help either.

[footballking732]

yeah, i give lessons... but ONLY, and i mean ONLY, after asking "do you mind if i give you a tip"...

i saw a guy 2 days ago at the range, flipping his hands up after contact with the ball, almost trying to push the ball up.. i told him he should hit with a descending blow to the back of the ball, and then follow thru with a bacon sized divot after the ball.

then i tried to show him, and completely f'd the shot up... i dont think he listened to me after seeing me hit my first bad shot out of a whole large bucket.

[cypressperch]

unless asked first. When someone is obviously doing things wrong, they are usually doing too many things wrong to correct such a package. I played with a guy almost a year watching him make the same mistake over and over. One day, he asks, "What am I doing wrong?" At that point I felt free to help out, and we WENT TO THE RANGE for a little session. It is expecting too much to think that on a first swing with a new thought success will be at hand, and unless there is no one around at all on the course, it just isn't the place to correct things.

I cannot stand the kind of player that assumes he or she knows so much that they go around almost looking for things to expound upon. They can ruin a round with all that, and they have no right to do that. I am sure there are some who actually mean well, but even these good types are wrong to make such assumptions.

If you go to a course without a game already lined up, you can never tell who you might get paired up with. Every time you successfully play a round with someone who has some kind of quirk, you have become a more mentally tough player. Golf has many challenges. This is one of the hardest. If you play tournaments, you will eventually have to play some "very challenging characters."

Cypressperch

[DVS]

Being a novice player, I can speak from the other side...

I dislike people giving me unsolicited advice. I am sure they mean well, but do I really want advice from someone who uses a 3W on a 160yard Par3?

If I am paired up with someone who is obviously much better than me, then I will seek out his counsel.

As for me giving advice...my response is to tell them that the blind shouldn't be giving out directions.

however, if I feel that some advice from me is warranted (just to speed up the round), I'll usual throw out a: "You know, I used to have the same problem, and by , things worked better for me". That way, you don't come across as all knowing...but rather you are sharing your experience and how you over came it (or plan to).

-DVS

[warbirdlover]

I won't give advise unless asked and I won't take it (ignore it) unless I know the person giving it and trust his advice.

[tn-golfnut-from-nj]

I dislike people giving me unsolicited advice. I am sure they mean well, but do I really want advice from someone who uses a 3W on a 160yard Par3?

I'm sorry, but I dont remember giving you any unsolicited advice.
I always welcome advice from anyone though...I take what I can use, and discard the rest.

[$2 Nassau]

I never offer to give it. Ever. Even if asked I usually decline. I just say "I'm hardly one to be giving advice to anyone about golf, go take a lesson."

As far as getting it...I only want if I ask...otherwise keep it to yourself. I usually don't ask because I feel like I'm bothering people.

[DVS]

Originally Posted by tn-golfnut-from-nj

I'm sorry, but I dont remember giving you any unsolicited advice.

lol, I didn't mean you.

My point was that I don't like it when I am playing with someone who is clearly more noob than me, telling me how I should play.

[Bravo]

For me it is extraordinarily rare....and it is ONLY with someone I know very well.

But it DID indeed happen just last Saturday. I was playing with one of my oldest friends (from high school and college - known him 30 years).

Over all these years, with me playing golf and having a great time with it - he never learned how to play....

He lived in San Francisco for 25 years and had an uncle who lived in Los Angeles (a member at the prestigious LACC). Apparently about 5 years ago, his uncle goaded him into finally learning how to play. He's unmarried and has nothing to do except work and have fun....so he really bore down and learned how to play golf over the last five years. I've played with him three times and he is a solid 18 handicap....When I played with him last year, he had a very good short game, solid irons but could only hit driver 200 yards...

So we are playing again this last Saturday. He gets up to the tee with his driver and has a huge closed stance. Left foot about two inches in front of right.

At the same time, he had the ball - outside - his left foot. About an inch outside.

Well you can imagine how high he hit it and even with the closed stance, he still got a bit of a fade - but only 200 yards.

It drove me crazy watching this for the first few holes and then I just couldn't take it any longer. I made him put the ball inside the left heel in the classic Nicklaus driver position.

He hits his next drive 240 yards. Much lower ball flight. Hits every single drive after that one the same distance.

He is beside himself with glee!!!

On the 17th tee I had to give him a little sh** about it. I said, "you paid $80 to come out here and play with me at my place and you got a free lesson worth at least that much....you're welcome"....

Then on the 18th, he needed a tight draw around some trees to approach the green from 205 out. I showed him how to set up feet and ball position for the necessary shot and he pulled it off perfectly.

That my friends was really rewarding.....

But in my regular group, the vast majority of the golfers have higher handicaps than I do, but I would never dare to offer unsolicited advice to them. They've played the way they play for decades and it would be terribly bad form to offer unsolicited suggestions to them. Hard feelings would result. They are not very good, but they're not beginners either.

[SCGolfer]

This never really comes into play for me. As my home course never really makes you pair up with anyone. So we play with the usual foursome, same bet and everything.....so no advice is given.


Jason

[tn-golfnut-from-nj]

Originally Posted by DVS

lol, I didn't mean you.

My point was that I don't like it when I am playing with someone who is clearly more noob than me, telling me how I should play.

The reason I said it, that yesterday I posted about hitting my 3W on a 168 yard par3, 11 feet to the pin.

[MAHALLEDAY]

I never give adive unless asked and even then most time si decline. As for gettign it...nothing drives me crazier than someone telling what I just did wrong (my boss when we play) when they are far wosre then I am. I've actualy gotten into the habiit of anouceing what just went wrong so they can't. Though some people (my boss) still correct me. I hate it.

[JEFF4i]

I never, ever, EVER, give unsolicited advice. It's terribly annoying.

Now, sometimes I get asked for a tip or something, and I'm more than happy.

[Sandy]

I absolutely never try to give anyone advice unless they specifically ask for it, and even then I try to give something general that's more encouraging than technical. If anything I try to counter anyone asking for a technical answer with a course management answer, as usually they can play around their swing flaws (at least until they get to a proper teacher or the range) by decent course management. Case in point is a guy I got paired with on a trip to NC earlier this year - he was a bit of a hacker and kept asking me for technical advice and all I could really offer him was to stop trying to compete with the rest of us in the group by trying to hit fairway woods and long irons all the time, and that none of us would mind that he was hitting shots from a few yards behind us every time.

Conversely I hate anyone trying to give me advice unless I know them well, and usually I'll have asked them to watch out for a couple of things in my swing anyway, especially the ball creeping back in my stance. If I'm playing with someone really good I prefer to watch what they're doing, figure out what it is that's different to my own swing, and then decide whether it's worth trying out down at the range. I've picked up good tips from several people I've played with, but never once asked them for one...