Golf joke (ish)

[EnglishGolfer]

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.." The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:

"God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack-of-dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

[DaveE]

Ok, that's funny.

[warbirdlover]

Excellent!

[JEFF4i]

Ohhhh....so lame.

[Bravo]

LOL....that's good....

[5iron]

HAHA ur funny

[kwcsports]

Very Funny

[RustyL]

hehehe that was funny. I have one that was sent to me the other day but is very suggestive, better keep it out of here, someone might slit me throat.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

OHHH that's dirty

Speaking of dirty, My liquor inspector told me a good one the other day.

A young girl was dropped off at the golf course by her mother to play a round of golf. Everything started out fine but the girl ran into trouble after the first hole. She arrived home early and her mother asked her why she was home so early.

" you're never going to believe what happened" says the girl in pain. "I was stung by a bee!."

"oh my goodness" shouts the mother " were!?".

"between the first and second hole" the daughter explains.

"good heavens" the mother says " you must have been right on top of the nest!"

___________________

[Sandpiper3]

Thats awesome EG!!! Priceless.

TCG- That one was dirty alright. Baddddddd.

[ThatCanadianGuy]

Well, the joke is still there, and I'm not banned yet so it can't be that dirty.


*knock on wood*

[limpalong]

Okay, it's almost Sunday. How about one that is a little sacreligious...

Jesus saw how much fun the folks of today were having playing the great game of golf. He kept begging God to let him come back to earth long enough to play one round. Finally, after tiring of the begging, God relented and allowed Jesus to return... for just one round.

Back on earth, Jesus walked into the clubhouse and paid his green fees. Waiting, he began to wonder if he still "had it". So, Jesus waved his hand over the ball washer on the first tee and, behold, the water inside the washer turned to wine. "Wow!! I've still got the touch!!", Jesus thought to himself.

One of the par 3's on the front was over water. All of the foursome teed off. To show off a little, Jesus said "Watch this!" and proceeded to walk directly into the lake. And... immediately sank into the water. Embarassed, Jesus looked to the sky and disappeared back into heaven.

God asked, "How did you get along? Was the game of golf all you expected it to be?" Jesus replied, "I just don't understand. When I was on earth the first time, I could walk on water. I totally embarassed myself and ruined my attempt to play golf by trying to walk across a lake on the course. God, why could I walk on water when on earth before and I couldn't this time??"

God quickly replied, "When you walked on water the first time, you didn't have holes in your feet!!"

[Andy_79]

Good stuff, guys !