3rd Person Player Profile

[ezra76]

I figured this might make for a fun thread. Your player profile written from a 3rd person perspective. Feel free to do it in a similar or different format.


Name: Ezra76
Age: 31
Height/Weight: 6'1" 150lbs.
Years Playing: 4
Approximate Hndcp: 12

Overview and history - Ezra76 has a lot of natural athletic ability and exceptional hand eye coordination. A standout basketball player in his younger years he maintains a lot of fast-twitch muscle, flexibility and pure speed. Working as a furniture mover for years has given him a very strong core, forearms and hands.

Ezra learned to play the game by simply watching, reading and accepting tips. The cheapest courses were where he learned, treelined with fairways, rough and greens that would make a CC player cancel his membership. This gave him the advantage of learning to hit shots off some horrible lies as just commonplace. Very slow greens have made him a very agressive short game player. Hitting a lot of tee shots into the trees, he developed the ability to hit the ball high, low, big draws and sharp fades. His creativity is both one of his biggest assets as well as one of his biggest downfalls.

Hole Ability Breakdown:

Short Par 3's (100-175) 9/10
Long Par 3's (180-240) 8/10
Short Par 4's (>399) 7.5/10
Long Par 4's (<399) 6.5/10
Short Par 5's (>520) 6/10
Long Par 5's (<520) 7/10


Ability

Driving Distance: 8.5/10
Driving Accuracy: 5.5/10
Overall Ballstriking: 7.5/10
Inside 100yds. pitch: 8/10
Chipping: 9.5/10
Sand shots: 8/10
Putting: 6/10

Summary

Ezra76 has very good short iron, pitching and exceptional chipping ability. Giving him strokes on par 3's will most likely take a birdie to halve. Putting is shaky and although he is a good lag putter, a 3 footer may as well be 12 under pressure. Chipping is exceptional so don't back off if he misses a green, he's far more likely to hole a moderate chip shot than a 15ft. putt. Driving is erratic and a long hitter can gain an advantage by tempting him to hit driver more often. Shorter hitters may get the opposite reaction, he may try to "show them up" with by outdriving with a 3iron or 5W. A very creative and agressive player he will try to always save a hole with a "miracle" shot. He may pull one off but if not, the hole is easily yours. Bear in mind he tends to play for "eagle" most of the time, firing at every flagstick to hit it and attempting to work a tee shot into prime position. This is where to take advantage, play it safer, par and even bogey will take the hole more times than not.

[dave.]

Dave

A true genius and sometimes a wanker so says BC Mist.

[niblick]

Interesting idea for a thread.

Name: niblick
Age: 30
Weight: 225
Height: 5'10"
Years playing: 2
Handicap: 20


Niblick is a player with great potential and a love for the game. He has some fundamental problems that need to be overcome before he becomes a good player. He's something of an anomaly - a 20 hcp with 110 mph club head speed. That power can and frequently does get him into trouble, but it can also produce great results when everything is working. He loves to play aggressively. His strong upper body also limits his flexibility which makes consistency a big issue.

He's always been a right to left player, and is working hard to learn to hit a fade. Controlling trajectory is not a strong suit. Struggles when playing in the wind. Ball striking with mid and long irons is poor. Shorter courses where he can hit driver-wedge produce scores significantly better than his index, and longer courses expose his ball-striking flaws.

Short game is better than most of similar handicap, but putting is not a strength. A few more GIRs from 150+ and elimination of a couple 3 putts would result in huge drop in index.

He has improved his mental game dramatically, and does a good job of staying positive and accepting the results of each shot.

...


Wow. That was really cathartic. Thanks Ezra.

[ualtim]

Name: ualtim


Height: Short
Weight: Fat
Age: best years are behind him.

Skills: Buys clubs better than he golfs with them.

Future: Stick to Wii Sports Golf.

[warbirdlover]

Name: warbirdlover
Age: 60
Weight: 220
Height: 6'0"
Years playing: 40
Handicap: 12

warbirdlover is a hacker who thinks he knows more then he really does. The best part of his game is his chipping and putting and usually keeps his drives in the fairway. Once in awhile he gets one out there pretty good. His iron play sucks most of the time and is the reason he can't lower his handicap.

He's finally getting smarter by picking up the "four magic moves" lesson package which he is now struggling to master due to his pea size brain.

In his younger years he was on a ranked state H.S. basketball team (benchwarmer) and did manage to excel in beer league softball, pitching a 9-inning shutout (slowpitch) with his amazing knuckleball and carrying a .500 batting average with a few over the fence. He also won a few state archery championships and even managed to shoot pro and be sponsored by Bear Archery. But all this time his golf game still sucked.

Now he's old but due to his recent diet much thinner!!

He's also a brilliant metallurgist (he is one fart smeller... I mean smart feller!!)

He's spent a fortune on golf equipment and has managed to salvage something of a game due to having equipment that helps him play way over his head.

[mddubya]

Name; mddubya, (his initials with the last one spelled out)
Age; 48
Weight; 185
Height; 6'2"
Years playing; Total of 5
Handicap; Around 15-18, (working on getting a definitive one)

mddubya is true hacker who aspires to become a good amateur player. In his misguided youth he was a excellent athlete playing quarterback on a team that went to the State Championship Playoffs 3 of his years playing. He had a scholarship in place to play QB for a Division I school till a knee injury ended his promising football career. He played golf as a teen and young adult back in the pre-Tiger days when golf was considered a older mans game and was actually quite good at it. But between girls, fast cars and after receiving a lot of ragging from his friends he stepped away from the game. He is the father of 2 fine young men, step father to 2 more and the grandfather to a beautiful future Miss America/top model/actress, (she is quite the ham). After working as a truck driver for years, his excellent leadership skills were finally recognized and he is now in a Supervisory position in a high stress job managing the movement of materials in and out of a large foreign car manufacturing plant located Ms.

After taking the game of golf back up 10 years ago till a shoulder injury sidetracked him once again, he is now back with a vengeance. His natural athletic abilities and dedication have helped him regain much of his past skills and form, but also lead him to attempt to play over his head a lot also. His drives are usually long if not always accurate which has aided in him developing a pretty good iron game due to the constant need to make a great 2nd shot. His putting leaves a bit to be desired, but it is improving even though he tend to swap putters entirely to often.

He has always been somewhat of a club ho, and since joining a World famous Golf Forum by the name of Shot Talk this has only escalated, much to the delight of his 4 sons, (who all play golf and receive his hand-me downs), and MasterCard. His wife however, does share this pleasure in his constant acquisition of golf equipment.

[Wi-Golfer]

Name: Wi-Golfer...real original huh?
Age: 45
Weight: 225
Height: 6'2"
Years playing: about 5 with a 12 yr break before last year.
Handicap: You betcha, when I swing a club I sure look handicapped.

Wi can golf fairly decently but his biggest strength is buying clubs he isn't ready to use yet.

[dave.]

Dave Aston
5'9"
15 stone but getting back to fitness after injury
Played for 28 years, aged 42
Practices like a mad twat
Gets called a wanker on Shottalk

Has a good swing but thinks to much on the course, can't switch off mechanics and play golf, FOOL

In summary, FOOL

[MIKE1218]

Name: MIKE1218
Age: 17
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 170
Handicap: 7.3 at end of last year
Strengths: MIKE1218 drives the ball well, baby draw, 265-270. Biggest strength is wedge play, esp. 3/4 and 1/2 shots. Pitching and chipping are good as well, but MIKE1218's biggest weakness is actually bunker play. He can get it out fine, but it will not be close. MIKE1218 tears up short, tight courses, hitting irons off the tee and ripping driver occasionally, but feels out of place on wide-open courses and always scores worse on them.

Great idea, Ez.

[Clugnut]

Very funny stuff! Great idea.

Name: Clugnut
Age: 28
Weight: 193
Height: 5'10"
Years playing: 10
Handicap: 6


Clugnut is a low-mid handicap golfer who loves to play and practice the game. His steady improvement began two years ago when he commited himself to practice at least three times a week. This practice has directly led to his greatest strength, iron play. If Clugnut gets an iron in his hands, he feels as if he should be able to put the ball on the green. He is a streaky putter, and struggles with his short game. He knows how to play all the shots, although the high draw is still a bit of a mystery. Driving accuracy is a problem area. It is not a technical issue, though. He sometimes struggles in the tee box with the temptation to hit the ball longer than he is able, even though he knows this approach will lead to shorter shots and the goo ole Oscar Bravo. Mainly, if he can get some confidence in his putting, chipping, and driving, he should be able to become at least a scratch player.

Somewhat of a concern, though, is Mr. Clugnut's on course behavior. Thinking himself somewhat funny, Clugnut does his best to try to be amusing, sometimes to the chagrin of his playing companions. Basically, he thinks he is a white Lee Trevino, when he is closer to a white George Lopez, which is pathetic. He knows all the golf lingo and jokes, and uses them to often. "That ball needed viagra!" or "Hit it, Sally!" often spill annoyingly from his lips. This abuse of old jokes and lingo will probably lead to an untimely demise for Clugnut, as I forecast a niblick to the teeth any day now.

[Topflite_D2]

Name: Top_Flite_D2
Age:15
Weight:135
Height: 5'6"
Years: Playing: 1 year this May
Handicap: Rather not say

Top Flite is a high handicaper hoping to get better this year. I like to practice and play. My strongest part of the game would be nothing yet. I'm hoping to be a good putter and short game player this year as I am practicing them this winter. I'm also hoping to score under 82 which is my best score. I would like to be more consistent iron striker after taking a few lessons. I'm hoping to become better at the tee box with his new driver.

He struggles at par 3's by coming up short. All and All he wants to become an all round better player but he believe's it will come with time.

[lamebums]

Name: The guy that ran over his own ball with the cart in an attempt to walk shorter distances.
Age: 18
Height/Weight: 6'4'' 285lbs
Years Playing: 12 (only 1 seriously)
Approximate Hndcp: 12

Overview and history - Lazy Man has played few other sports seriously, although has a fairly decent golf swing naturally. Lifting regularly has given him a very strong core, forearms and hands although there's still a lot hanging over the frontside.

Lazy Man learned to play the game by smacking balls down the range. The cheapest courses were where he learned, treelined with fairways, rough and greens that would make a CC player cancel his membership. This gave him the advantage of learning to hit shots off some horrible lies as just commonplace. Very slow greens have made him a very agressive short game player. Hitting a lot of tee shots into the trees, he developed the ability to hit the ball high, low, big draws and sharp fades. His creativity is both one of his biggest assets as well as one of his biggest downfalls.

Hole Ability Breakdown:

Short Par 3's (100-175) 5/10
Long Par 3's (180-240) 3/10
Short Par 4's (>399) 8/10
Long Par 4's (<399) 7.5/10
Short Par 5's (>520) 9/10
Long Par 5's (<520) 9/10


Ability

Driving Distance: 9.5/10
Driving Accuracy: 4/10
Overall Ballstriking: 7.5/10
Inside 100yds. pitch: 6/10
Chipping: 7/10
Sand shots: 6/10
Putting: 6/10

Summary

Lazy Man is especially long off the tee, and those tee shots are critical in cutting even the longest holes down to size. Giving him a stroke on par 5's will most likely take a birdie to halve. Give him three strokes on a par 3, however, and you'll easily win anyway. Lag putting sucks, although he is absolutely money inside of five feet. Chipping is so-so. Driving is erratic at best, usually really long and into the woods on the left side. Any tight course or one with trouble left is easy money. He rarely shows up short hitters, instead being more focused himself on hitting the golf ball as far as possible. A very aggressive player, he will try to always save a hole with a "miracle" shot. He may pull one off but if not, the hole is easily yours. Bear in mind he tends to play for "eagle" most of the time, firing at every flagstick to hit it and attempting to work a tee shot into prime position. This is where to take advantage, play it safer, par and even bogey will take the hole more times than not.

(Sink a few putts, and you're known as lucky, or streaky. But knock the dimples off the ball, and you're a hero. You're a real fighter, a leader, a gladiatorial type. Chicks dig the long ball, too.)

[extremeVFT03]

Name: extremeVFT03
Age:25
Weight:315
Height: 6'3"
Years: Playing: 3
Handicap: GOLF


extreme is a golf that practices a lot and gets worse. mostly plays by his self, he's better that way. he does better at spending money then playing golf. not a lot expected from him on the golf course

[VtDivot]

Name: VTDivot
Age: 33
Height: 5'10
Weight: 158lbs
Years playing: 12
USGA Index: 9

Strengths: None really, not overly long, but keeps the ball in play. Above average iron play.

VTDivot has raw atletic skill and good hand eye coordination learned from years playing competitive baseball as a youngster. He knows that he could probably get down to a lower index and compete with the top tier handicappers at his local club if he really gave a shit, but he doesn't. He'd rather bang balls around with some of his closest friends and drink beers than be at the range practicing. He doesn't care about the newest technology and/or training aids. He's happy with his index where it is.

[Clugnut]

Yeah, happy with being a sandbagger!