Psychological help needed!!!!!

[fisher]

I am a 7.3 handicap. Here is the problem.....when it gets competitive the wheels completely fall off of my game. There are 3 guys I play with pretty regularly....lets just call them The Hecklers......any time I play with them I play like a 20. The harder I try the tighter I get. A few bad shots and anger sets in......from there its all down hill.

A few weeks ago I played a friendly round with one of the 3 Hecklers.....just the 2 of us. I managed to stay focused for the entire 18 holes and shot my best round ever with one of these guys a 5-over par 77. The guy was blown away by how I played compared to what he is used to seeing. The next week our foursome got together and it was obvious word had spread about our previous round and the primary heckler piped up before we even got to the first T. Once again I tightened up almost immediately and went out and shot an 89.

I know, long story. So here is my question.....What can I do to help myself stay better focused and play to my potential in pressure situations??? Second, how do you deal with an individual who really knows how to get into your head???

[BigJim13]

I am a 7.3 handicap. Here is the problem.....when it gets competitive the wheels completely fall off of my game. There are 3 guys I play with pretty regularly....lets just call them The Hecklers......any time I play with them I play like a 20. The harder I try the tighter I get. A few bad shots and anger sets in......from there its all down hill.

A few weeks ago I played a friendly round with one of the 3 Hecklers.....just the 2 of us. I managed to stay focused for the entire 18 holes and shot my best round ever with one of these guys a 5-over par 77. The guy was blown away by how I played compared to what he is used to seeing. The next week our foursome got together and it was obvious word had spread about our previous round and the primary heckler piped up before we even got to the first T. Once again I tightened up almost immediately and went out and shot an 89.

I know, long story. So here is my question.....What can I do to help myself stay better focused and play to my potential in pressure situations??? Second, how do you deal with an individual who really knows how to get into your head???

Just out of curiosity, what does this person do to "get in your head?" I only ask because it was never a problem for me. Friendly or competitive I seem to be able to focus on the shot at hand no matter what. I can go from joking-jesting to dead serious and focused over a shot/putt.

So...what does it take to get in your head? Once you identify that-then you can take steps and we can offer solutions to prevent that.

[David Hillman]

You just have to fight through it. I've been the same way playing with in-laws ( brothers and father ). I'll shoot close to 80 by myself, or with people I don't know, but when I play with them, low-nineties at best and even that's deceiving because I'll be scrambling the whole time.

The more we play, though, the better it gets. I guess, having hit enough embarrassingly bad shots, you stop worrying about it, eventually.

[indacup]

I had a history of this myself...which for the most part seemed to have overcome...but not without repeated failed attempts.

First thing I need to ask before I can offer insight is when the "Hecklers" start in on you, what do you do?

I don't mean your game...but what are our thoughts when they start in on you? what do you say to/back at them or do you feel a physological difference....ala sweatig, nerves, anger...etc?

[fisher]

I would call it a little bit of anger but mostly its just wanting to kick their asses on the golf course. I think the more I want to kick their butts, the harder I try and the more frustrated I get at any sort of a miss. For me its like a dominoe effect. Like I can't get relaxed and into my normal rhythm. I get tension in my shoulders arms and neck and also grip it harder.

When I get tight and off my game I revert back to old bad habits.....poor alignment and hitting pushes to the right. Putting goes down the toilet as well with stress/tension.

[warbirdlover]

I have this same problem when I play in league. My solution? I probably won't play in league next year. I've tried everything to beat it and shot three straight good rounds at the end of the year only to fall on my face again the last two league rounds.

[gobber]

I take it he doesn't heckle you when you are playing your shots! If so that is out of order and its change of partner time! If it is just banter between shots to get under your skin then you have to learn to blank it out when you are playing your shots If you cannot do this then again its change of partner time. Golf should enjoyable and it sound like you aint enjoying it at the moment.

My buddy is an ex footballer and basically heckles from start to finish with no concept of putting people off their shots. If he is jabbering when I play my shot I just ask him if he has nearly finished then start my pre-shot routine once he does. He soon gets the message as the rest of the group do the same. Also yawning when they are heckling works!

[indacup]

I would call it a little bit of anger but mostly its just wanting to kick their asses on the golf course. I think the more I want to kick their butts, the harder I try and the more frustrated I get at any sort of a miss. For me its like a dominoe effect. Like I can't get relaxed and into my normal rhythm. I get tension in my shoulders arms and neck and also grip it harder.

When I get tight and off my game I revert back to old bad habits.....poor alignment and hitting pushes to the right. Putting goes down the toilet as well with stress/tension.

That pretty much describes my emotions back then...plus coupled with KNOWING I've blown up before and knowing I am better, really amplified my frustrations...and destroyed my game with those guys.

I can't tell you how many times after I "bkew up" and we'd go back to the clubhouse and the crap would continue...

Finally, I made a few mental adjustments.

First off, when they started giving me crap...instead of talking smack back...I would say: "yeah, you guys are right...I suck"......or " My game is bad now...I expect nothing from my game now"...etc.

Then the other thing I did was not watch their swings...just very polite to them...ignored their svores..and concentrated strictly on playing the course.

It wasn't me against them...it was me against the course....and almost immediatly me scores started going down...and once they realized I was quieter and not playing their mental game...they too started reirecting their focus off of me and at eachother.

Finally...go get the AUDIO version of "Golf is Not a Game of Perfect" by Bob Rotella

[slickpitt]

Just beat the ever living sh!t out of the Heckler... you'll feel better and play better golf!

[MCDavis]

1st green, set up a putt 10 feet or more that you know you can make. Then, line it up, look the main heckler dead in the eye, talk some trash and sink the putt.

He won't bother you any more.

[LottaBalata]

Are they friends or just "golf-buddies"? I'd look 'em straight in the face and tell 'em to shut the F up while I'm taking my shots or they were going to be walking back with my driver up their ass.

Seriously, what kind of person, exactly, heckles someone during golf? Just sounds like a complete lack of respect. My golf buddies and I will gig each other a tad after a really poor, poor shot. But they, or myself are already rolling their eyes and shaking their head like, "what the hell was that?" So, getting some flack almost feels deserved. I think your so-called buddies, know you have potential, and they also know they get under your skin. That's why they do it.

Flesh colored ear plugs, small, inconspicuous.. . .also, try and practice some type of meditation to help you clear your mind. Personally, I like my first suggestion the best

[JEFF4i]

Being angry can be a good thing, or frustrated, or any energy-producing emotion. The key is to allow it to fuel your focus and drive, without clouding your mind.

Make sure you keep a clear mind on each shot, treat each one clinically(what is my best shot here? How much do I need to take the risk?) and precisely. If you're feeling angry, take deep breaths. For me, it doesn't really make me less angry, but clears my mind.

[Wi-Golfer]

I haven't had to deal with hecklers, although on our Shottalk outings we do get in some friendly ribbing.

However I do know what you mean as for the longest time if I played by myself or with strangers I was fine. I love playing thru as 9 out of 10 times for some reason I smoke the crap outta my drives with strangers watching me. But put me in a situation with friends & I start sucking. I know it's because I put too much pressure on myself. With strangers I don't care if I look good or not, but with friends you don't want to look like a horrible golfer so I start to over think everything, hand position, feet, even my club choice.

I think for the most part I have pretty much gotten over it this year though. Played quite a few times with Zaphod seems to have helped. Lasr time I played with the guys from work I played fantastic & was very very pleased with just about everything, although on that day my putting wasn't the best.

For myself the key has been a lot of practice where I have gotten good enough to make some nice shots & I have confidence in making them. Then when I play with friends I try to really not think about my game & just let it happen.

[fisher]

Alot of it is me putting pressure on myself. There is a physiologic component as well as I tighten up in the shoulders arms and hands and begin to hit pushes. My tempo also gets screwed up. How do I relieve this?

[nixdad]

I like the beat the sh!t out of him idea. But, since you probably won't cause he's a golf buddy, here' what I do. I practice a little more and practice focused. I practice like I am on the course, imagining shots and executing them. That way when it's showtime, the collar doesn't tighten and you don't get all bound up. You get in your rythym and nothing can really f*ck it up.