Obituary - John Bretz (Bravo) RIP – “Assclench forever”

[Youngun5]

Tragic.

Bravo's posts were the best. I remember on GR he'd do the 'Jim Nantz Interview' Threads. I found one where he did 'The Master' after his and IG's match for the Turkey, here it is. Also a good one over there where he got Montagle.

CBS Sports Interview with The master

Jim Nance: Hi everybody, I'm Jim Nance with CBS Sports. Today, we continue with our series of interviews with characters at Golfreview.com - known as GR.

Today we meet with The master - a young, aggressive player from Northern Ireland.

Master, welcome to CBS Sports.

The Master: Good to be here Jim.

JN: Our research staff says you have been working hard on your game lately. In the past week, you've been seen at the range hitting thousands of balls. How is it going?

TM: Well I think I've overdone it Jim. My back is killing me.

JN: That's hard to believe for someone your age. Tell me about your back.

TM: I'm telling ya that my back is in excreting pain - just excreting.

JN: Excreting? Surely you mean excrucia.....

TM (interrupting): YES! - excreting pain! it's the worst I have ever had!!

JN: So the pain.....it?s coming OUT of your back - like.... leaving your body?

TM: What are you talking about?

JN: You said the pain is excreting - like something was coming out of an orifice.

TM: Orifice? Is that a new sand wedge?

JN: An orifice is a body par.....

TM (interrupting): No wait!!! Of course! I know!. ... the new Orifice putter by Scotty Cameron!! Those orifices are really hot now.

But you know Jim, I do not need the Orifice putter by Scotty Cameron. My putting skills are awesome now. I am as good as Tiger was in 2002 - and I am only 16 years old!! Even Darren Clarke comes to me for putting lessons.

No - the last thing I need is the new Orifice putter!!!

JN: By orifice - we mean a hole in your body like your nose, mouth or butt....

TM (exasperated): I thought this was a golf interview - not an anatomy class!.

(TM gets red faced with anger)

I am in very bad pain. There is nothing coming out of my arse!!! The pain is EXCRETING...You idiot!!! What language do you speak???

JN: OK, OK on to the next question.

Speaking of language, our researchers say you are known for your, your....sometimes questionable usage of grammar and spelling.

TM: Well it is simply a mater of me nott wanting to take teh time to spel rite. I kan spel phine if I wantto.

After all, I make the highest marks in my English classes. I just don't care to use guude English on the syte...

JN: Well our interviews with GR posters indicate that they have a hard time reading your posts, because of the spelling and grammar.

TM: I donno what teh are talking about! I Kan spel just phine if I wantto.I just donn want to tek the tymme...I am two bizzie practking my swing.

JN: Well - a recent big event at GR was your match with Irishgolfer. How did that come about?

TM: Well I came online and IG starting trash talking about how he could beat the crap out of me. I mean he was a real jerk about it all.

JN: Really?!

TM: Yes and I had to stand up for myself.

JN: Our research of the posts shows pretty much the opposite. Looks to us like you told IG that you would beat him handily in a match.

TM: No way!! I am a humble player!!

JN: Well it sounds like an interesting match. Tell us about it.

TM: Well I had a long drive with my dad and we got there on time. We played Portstewart which is a links course. I have spent all my time on parkland courses. This is why I lost the match.

JN: We understand that you had an early lead and could not hold on. Sounds like you crumbled under the pressure.

TM: I did not crumble under pressure!!

(TM's face begins to lose colour.)

JN: No discussion of this match would be complete without an enquiry concerning The Turkey...

TM: Turkey?!?!?

(TM?s face is ashen now)

JN: Yes our research staff spoke with IG in preparation for this interview. He told us that you were wagering for a holiday turkey to be eaten by the victor's family.

After you lost the match you refused to pay up. IG told us that you have welched on your bet.

TM: Welched??

JN: According to what we have read on GR, you have failed to pay your bet to IG. Tell us about that.

TM: Well - I suppose we Did wager a turkey...

(sighs)

TM: I cannot afford to pay him now. My Christmas bills!!!

JN: Cannot afford it? You posted recently that you make the mortgage payments on your family's house. And judging from the pictures, it looks like an expensive home. A beautiful property with a kitchen to die for.

TM: The problem is - I tried to send the turkey by post - but they wouldn't take it.

JN: We researched the issue with The Royal Mail. They would be happy to send a package of that size. Postage of approximately 15 GBP. Failing that - UPS or Fed Ex would handle a turkey for you.

TM: Well - I'll look into it but won't make any promises. Besides, we have a rematch coming up at Bangor. I am playing him double or nothing!!

Just Golden.

Bravo would come here and tell us about what was going on in his world, things seldom seemed to be all that great for him, what with A/C going out and hurricane's etc, but he never came here asking for any sympathy, or help. even if things were tough for him, he'd still be the first to offer to help someone out or to give good advice. If I live to be half the man he was, I'll consider myself well off.

RIP, Bravo.

[vccgolfgirl]

Hi all,

Catherine left her computer on with this site up and I had to take a look. I am Sylvia, John's widow. I cannot tell you how much she and I both appreciate your words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I also noticed how one man put the link to the exceptional foundation up. While this is a wonderful cause, we have had a tremendous amount of John's friends from Birmingham put money into it. A far more pressing issue that John would want to see through is Catherine's college fund. Catherine is 17 years old and she is going to college next year. She was the the absolute apple of John's eye, the light of his life. His friends swear she has the exact same personality as John: same sense of humor, openness, sensitivity, and, of course, she is extremely outgoing. John's father stripped him of Catherine's college fund, and now she is left with no leg to stand on. His friends have started a college fund for her at the Compass Bank on Crosshaven Drive in Birmingham, AL. His brother and sister-in-law are in charge of the fund and although, I do not know the account # I'm sure if you call up there you can ask them for it. The number is: 205-297-4878. I think, if you all are willing and able, the best way to honor his memory is to contribute to her future. Thank you all for positively affecting John's life in these difficult past few months, I know he appreciated and loved this site more than you all could ever know.

Sylvia

[Eracer]

Originally Posted by vccgolfgirl

Hi all,

Catherine left her computer on with this site up and I had to take a look. I am Sylvia, John's widow. I cannot tell you how much she and I both appreciate your words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I also noticed how one man put the link to the exceptional foundation up. While this is a wonderful cause, we have had a tremendous amount of John's friends from Birmingham put money into it. A far more pressing issue that John would want to see through is Catherine's college fund. Catherine is 17 years old and she is going to college next year. She was the the absolute apple of John's eye, the light of his life. His friends swear she has the exact same personality as John: same sense of humor, openness, sensitivity, and, of course, she is extremely outgoing. John's father stripped him of Catherine's college fund, and now she is left with no leg to stand on. His friends have started a college fund for her at the Compass Bank on Crosshaven Drive in Birmingham, AL. His brother and sister-in-law are in charge of the fund and although, I do not know the account # I'm sure if you call up there you can ask them for it. The number is: 205-297-4878. I think, if you all are willing and able, the best way to honor his memory is to contribute to her future. Thank you all for positively affecting John's life in these difficult past few months, I know he appreciated and loved this site more than you all could ever know.

Sylvia

Can you set up a Paypal account? I think that would be the best and safest way to do this. And again, my sincere condolences for your loss.

[Andy_79]

I had written a few words on Friday evening after I.G. had told me of this extremely sad occurance. I will attempt to reitterate some of those words again now.

John, or "Bravo" as he was known by myself as, was an absolute gentleman and a totally inspirational figure to myself from the very beginning of my time on here. I have read through the many kind words left by fellow ST members and one thing is constant; that he made people feel welcome and that they belonged here.
John, like a poster before me, was actually the main reason I decided to post here. I can recall his genuine warmth and the interest that he took in myself as an ordinary person from N.Ireland was an extremely wonderful thing. I can recall having one on one conversations with him many times and am so, so sad to learn of this story.

I trust that John will be in a better place now, free of his worries and is able to look down and offer support and guidence to his wife and daughter. God Bless you all.

Andy79. x

[mont86]

Truly sad to hear about Bravo..I was just thinking of him a short while ago..God Bless. I also remember the ass clench
thread he started..LOL

[goatster]

i am saddend to hear the news about John "Bravo".my condolences go out to his family.

when i first joined he was one of the members that stuck in my mind because he always seemed to post some funny stuff or some great advice.

he will be deeply missed.

[VtDivot]

This is sad sad news.

I was a very large Bravo fan. There really aren't words to describe how I feel, and I only knew the man over the internet. I can only imagine the anguish his family must have been enduring.

Rest in Peace friend.

[Eracer]

Originally Posted by VtDivot

This is sad sad news.

I was a very large Bravo fan. There really aren't words to describe how I feel, and I only knew the man over the internet. I can only imagine the anguish his family must have been enduring.

Rest in Peace friend.

I'm glad you saw this (not really, but you know what I mean....) Last night I thought about calling you today and letting you know what had happened, since we hadn't heard from you in a while. Hope all is well with you and your family.

[IrishGolfer]

Yes, this was Bravo at his best! Funny stuff.

Originally Posted by Youngun5

Tragic.

Bravo's posts were the best. I remember on GR he'd do the 'Jim Nantz Interview' Threads. I found one where he did 'The Master' after his and IG's match for the Turkey, here it is. Also a good one over there where he got Montagle.

CBS Sports Interview with The master

Jim Nance: Hi everybody, I'm Jim Nance with CBS Sports. Today, we continue with our series of interviews with characters at Golfreview.com - known as GR.

Today we meet with The master - a young, aggressive player from Northern Ireland.

Master, welcome to CBS Sports.

The Master: Good to be here Jim.

JN: Our research staff says you have been working hard on your game lately. In the past week, you've been seen at the range hitting thousands of balls. How is it going?

TM: Well I think I've overdone it Jim. My back is killing me.

JN: That's hard to believe for someone your age. Tell me about your back.

TM: I'm telling ya that my back is in excreting pain - just excreting.

JN: Excreting? Surely you mean excrucia.....

TM (interrupting): YES! - excreting pain! it's the worst I have ever had!!

JN: So the pain.....it?s coming OUT of your back - like.... leaving your body?

TM: What are you talking about?

JN: You said the pain is excreting - like something was coming out of an orifice.

TM: Orifice? Is that a new sand wedge?

JN: An orifice is a body par.....

TM (interrupting): No wait!!! Of course! I know!. ... the new Orifice putter by Scotty Cameron!! Those orifices are really hot now.

But you know Jim, I do not need the Orifice putter by Scotty Cameron. My putting skills are awesome now. I am as good as Tiger was in 2002 - and I am only 16 years old!! Even Darren Clarke comes to me for putting lessons.

No - the last thing I need is the new Orifice putter!!!

JN: By orifice - we mean a hole in your body like your nose, mouth or butt....

TM (exasperated): I thought this was a golf interview - not an anatomy class!.

(TM gets red faced with anger)

I am in very bad pain. There is nothing coming out of my arse!!! The pain is EXCRETING...You idiot!!! What language do you speak???

JN: OK, OK on to the next question.

Speaking of language, our researchers say you are known for your, your....sometimes questionable usage of grammar and spelling.

TM: Well it is simply a mater of me nott wanting to take teh time to spel rite. I kan spel phine if I wantto.

After all, I make the highest marks in my English classes. I just don't care to use guude English on the syte...

JN: Well our interviews with GR posters indicate that they have a hard time reading your posts, because of the spelling and grammar.

TM: I donno what teh are talking about! I Kan spel just phine if I wantto.I just donn want to tek the tymme...I am two bizzie practking my swing.

JN: Well - a recent big event at GR was your match with Irishgolfer. How did that come about?

TM: Well I came online and IG starting trash talking about how he could beat the crap out of me. I mean he was a real jerk about it all.

JN: Really?!

TM: Yes and I had to stand up for myself.

JN: Our research of the posts shows pretty much the opposite. Looks to us like you told IG that you would beat him handily in a match.

TM: No way!! I am a humble player!!

JN: Well it sounds like an interesting match. Tell us about it.

TM: Well I had a long drive with my dad and we got there on time. We played Portstewart which is a links course. I have spent all my time on parkland courses. This is why I lost the match.

JN: We understand that you had an early lead and could not hold on. Sounds like you crumbled under the pressure.

TM: I did not crumble under pressure!!

(TM's face begins to lose colour.)

JN: No discussion of this match would be complete without an enquiry concerning The Turkey...

TM: Turkey?!?!?

(TM?s face is ashen now)

JN: Yes our research staff spoke with IG in preparation for this interview. He told us that you were wagering for a holiday turkey to be eaten by the victor's family.

After you lost the match you refused to pay up. IG told us that you have welched on your bet.

TM: Welched??

JN: According to what we have read on GR, you have failed to pay your bet to IG. Tell us about that.

TM: Well - I suppose we Did wager a turkey...

(sighs)

TM: I cannot afford to pay him now. My Christmas bills!!!

JN: Cannot afford it? You posted recently that you make the mortgage payments on your family's house. And judging from the pictures, it looks like an expensive home. A beautiful property with a kitchen to die for.

TM: The problem is - I tried to send the turkey by post - but they wouldn't take it.

JN: We researched the issue with The Royal Mail. They would be happy to send a package of that size. Postage of approximately 15 GBP. Failing that - UPS or Fed Ex would handle a turkey for you.

TM: Well - I'll look into it but won't make any promises. Besides, we have a rematch coming up at Bangor. I am playing him double or nothing!!

Just Golden.

Bravo would come here and tell us about what was going on in his world, things seldom seemed to be all that great for him, what with A/C going out and hurricane's etc, but he never came here asking for any sympathy, or help. even if things were tough for him, he'd still be the first to offer to help someone out or to give good advice. If I live to be half the man he was, I'll consider myself well off.

RIP, Bravo.

[Dave Ireland]

Jesus what a shock - my 1st time logging on in a few months, dunno why just thought about all you guys, to read the obituary and heart rending post from John's daughter Catherine.

It was in the old days of GR, that I first made John's acquaintance. He really understood the global nature of golf - and frequently enquired of myself, Mark (IG) and Richard (Kilted Arab) the peculiarites of links and european golf. I think it was for that very reason - us being "foreigners" that he sought to understand us as people and not just golfers - and he was very quick to pick up on our brand of humor. I think he greatly regretted not putting as many faces to names, as times and circumstances contrived to throw him a curveball each and every time there was a shootalk meet, and I know he was particularly disappointed missing out on a trip with his buddies to Scotland& Ireland.

We have all had our troubles and worries, some people carry that burden better than others, John's burden finally proved too much for him, which will never dampen the utmost respect I had for the man.

He was what I'd imagine a southern gentleman to be and that he conveyed an overwhelming sense of warmth thru an inanimate PC screen, that to me will be his lasting legacy.

Rest in peace

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

Dave

[Pa Jayhawk]

Originally Posted by Dave Ireland

It was in the old days of GR, that I first made John's acquaintance. He really understood the global nature of golf - and frequently enquired of myself, Mark (IG) and Richard (Kilted Arab) the peculiarites of links and european golf. I think it was for that very reason - us being "foreigners" that he sought to understand us as people and not just golfers - and he was very quick to pick up on our brand of humor.

Actually Bravo and Kilted Arab are one of the few I remember from over at GR in great detail as I kinda got started late over there, and the reason I came over here after Sling extended an invitation via PM when times went south over there. I knew nothing about Shottalk at the time and figured if it was good enough for John and Richard it was probably better than I deserved.

I actually remember when I first came over was some transition period and while I believe I may have had different views at the time, they both indicated that all views were welcome. I actually think I may have rattled KA's cage at the time. Great thing about it is they both made me feel welcome. Both were as true a gentlemen as you would ever find in the face of obvious adversity at the time.

[eclark53520]

Wow, i am floored by this. I dont know what to say but that i give my condolences to his family.

RIP Bravo

[The master]

Very sad news, I remember Bravo (John) always being one of the knowledgeable members here and at GR, he was always interested in hearing other peoples opinions.


RIP

[Dave Ireland]

Originally Posted by Pa Jayhawk

Actually Bravo and Kilted Arab are one of the few I remember from over at GR in great detail as I kinda got started late over there, and the reason I came over here after Sling extended an invitation via PM when times went south over there. .....

Now that you mention it, it was John that invited me over to Shottalk as you say when things were going belly up on GR. Strange thing about Shottalk in the early days, was that because there were relatively so few members you got to interact more often, thru posts & pm's and got an insight into the person behind the screen name.

[Kilted Arab]

Gutted by this news. Sadly I don't have the time for golf, let alone Shottalk, any more but I have many fond memories of this site.

And Bravo was one of them. He loved the sport and he loved this place - his knowledge, desire to learn and enthusiasm were second to none and I am deeply shocked by this news. I remember the spoof interview with great joy and I remember the trip to Ireland that never came off for him with great disappointment - if ever someone deserved to have the chance to make a trip like that, it was him.

He contacted me about a possible trip to Singapore about 18 months ago - we swapped a few emails then they dropped off...sadly I don't know if he ever made it out here and I regret that we never met.

He was one of the good guys. R.I.P. Bravo.



I must that Dave Ireland for making an extensive effort to contact me, I just wish the circumstances were different. Cheers Big Fella...