Golf Rules officionados

[Rockford35]

....I mistakenly grabbed one of your balls instead of a Callaway. For the first couple holes, it worked great. But then I unleashed the fury of 1000 men on the teebox of the 14th, only to have my wee Titty travel a paltry 60 yards (my longest drive of the afternoon, BTW).

Could it be that "the best of the best" had failed me?

I came up to the ball, just short of the ladies tee, to find that it was smiling at me. Funny, I thought, I haven't eaten any mushrooms today. Apon further inspection, I found that I had indeed cracked my ball.

Not knowing the rules, I played it as it lied. It still played the same had it been whole. I carded a 9 with two putts. Stupid wedges.

My question now lies; Are all Titty's like this? Should I buy a Check Go to find the ones that will crack before I play them? Should I swap from my dearly beloved golf ball to another in fear that all Titty balls are total dogshyte?

I leave the ball (literally) in your court. I look forward to your reply.

PS....if this letter sounds strange, it's because I eat bacon fat on toast and I grew up on an island.



Try something like that.

R35

[IrishGolfer]

....I mistakenly grabbed one of your balls instead of a Callaway. For the first couple holes, it worked great. But then I unleashed the fury of 1000 men on the teebox of the 14th, only to have my wee Titty travel a paltry 60 yards (my longest drive of the afternoon, BTW).

Could it be that "the best of the best" had failed me?

I came up to the ball, just short of the ladies tee, to find that it was smiling at me. Funny, I thought, I haven't eaten any mushrooms today. Apon further inspection, I found that I had indeed cracked my ball.

Not knowing the rules, I played it as it lied. It still played the same had it been whole. I carded a 9 with two putts. Stupid wedges.

My question now lies; Are all Titty's like this? Should I buy a Check Go to find the ones that will crack before I play them? Should I swap from my dearly beloved golf ball to another in fear that all Titty balls are total dogshyte?

I leave the ball (literally) in your court. I look forward to your reply.

PS....if this letter sounds strange, it's because I eat bacon fat on toast and I grew up on an island.



Try something like that.

R35

Stunning...every word true. Should I also admit to drinking my own urine?

I think they will just send me the keys to Titliest!

[Kilted Arab]

Dear Mr Titliest

While I was out playing,...

(Please complete)

...I felt a desperate need to go for a piss. So I did. then I played my next shot - landed to within 12 inches of the hole - so I had another piss to celebrate. Gave it more than 3 shakes as well, I was so chuffed.

Then I 1-putted for my birdie and after a celebratory piss I strolled to the next tee. "Bet I can split the ball with my drive", I said to my partners.

I've never lost a bet on a golf course, you see. So I teed up, took a piss, then whacked off. Took my drive, that is. And, Loh and Behold, I split the ball. Won 20 quid, I did. Then, even with the broken ball, I knocked it to 6 inches and got another birdie.

So, please Mr Titleist, can you send me some more of these balls?

Many thanks,

IG"

[IrishGolfer]

Thanks for that KA. Lot's of suggestions there.

By the way, is your wean's poo still green?

[Kilted Arab]

Thanks for that KA. Lot's of suggestions there.

By the way, is your wean's poo still green?

Well, kinda mustardy, from the glimpses I've seen over Mrs A's shoulder...