Today's round overview...

[Rockford35]

I got up this morning, and knew it was going to be a bad day. My better half had just headed out to work, and I had just turned the computer on to get some work done. I had the golf channel on in the next room, as i love to listen to infomercials when i work, you know, as "white noise" in the background.

Just then, the cable went out. No modem, no TV. Since i need connection to do my work, i figured i'd get some stuff around the house done. I stepped into the shower and no longer than 2 minutes and the power went out.

Beautiful.

Well, if that wasn't a sign, i don't know what was.

About 20 minutes later, i pull into the course parking lot. I'm by myself, and i'm hoping i can get a round in. I get a half bucket and ask the guy to pair me up with someone that might come along in the next half hour. I head out to the range.

The range was sweet. The driver was working after 4 rounds of hiatus, and the irons started to come back. And the wedges were dialed. Perfect.
I hear my name called from the clubhouse to join up with a threesome on the teebox.

I meet my playing partners, 3 older gents, John, Jesse and a guy named Chopper. So right away, you know this is gonna be a sweet round.

I draw the short tee and have honours. I place a nice high drawing drive out about 315, just left of center about a yard. Things are good.

Chopper, about 70, tees off about 150 off the tee. Hitchy swing, but effective.

John, huge fat guy, like orca fat, hauls off with his GBBII about 215. Right side, but it'll work.

Jesse, older guy, near 70ish, has a terrible swing. And to top it off, he rhymes words together in conversation, which i couldn't really get a handle on. For example, he hits a thin drive about 160 and turns to be and says "That was thin.....the thin skin bin chin..." I was like, "WTF are you talking about buddy?" This went on for many, many holes. I found myself chuckling along more out of shear entertainment.

After workng myself to a one over front nine, i was feeling pretty good. I had 11 putts through 9, things were pickin up.

Then the adventure began. After parring the par 3 10th, the next was a par 5. I drew three consecutive bad lies, one on a root and two other in undulating fairway with awkward feet/ball positions. After some stick handling a nice 7 appeared on the card. Terrific. "Seven Eleven from Heaven". Thanks Jesse.

The next hole is a tough par 4 over water from 180 to 120 in. Tough green too. Ya, birdied it. Go figure.

The next par 4, took a 6.

Next hole, birdie.

Easiest par 5 on the course next, hit a 380 yard drive with the wind and put it to about 14 feet. Took a 5. Ya, i did the same thing last week. Terrible. And my putter had been so good today. Nuts.

Parred the next, doubled after that, and took a 7 on 18.

I was sick. I couldn't understand what the heck happened. It was night and day.

I went into the clubhouse to count strokes and feel sorry for myself. I was sitting there, watching the TV when the waitress/hired help/part time cart girl came over and sat down with me. She said she had seen me around alot, and wondered if I could take her out for a round sometime. (Please keep in mind, she's maybe 19 or 20. Pretty nice looking too.) I said sure, whenever she wanted to go, but i was thinking about my round and how "great" it was, and that would be a great opportunity to get some more golf in this week. Ya, not the fact that some young girl was hitting on me in the clubhouse. I'm sure my better half would have loved that!

Well, after some awkward conversation, i left the clubhouse with a scorecard that read too many and an open invitation to golf with the clubhouse vixen.

Should a guy be proud at this moment, or flattered?

I went home feeling astonished. Perhaps it was that I hadn't eaten breakfast. Perhaps it was that it had warmed up alot and i was wearing pants. Maybe it was the alignment of the planets.

Either way, i played terrible on the back nine.

"Back nine fine sine mine behind". Thanks again Jesse.

R35

[Loop]

lol
thin skin bin chin....

I heard some people actually make out on the golf course. Any truth in that?

[Dave Ireland]

Originally Posted by Loop

lol
thin skin bin chin....

I heard some people actually make out on the golf course. Any truth in that?

Great post btw Rock ...... I played a public course some years ago that backed onto what you ppl would call a ghetto. I carved a wild one into the forest went into the deepest darkest jungle for a quick scan for it, whereupon I espy a young couple inflagrante delecto..... and awkward moment ensues as yer coitus interuptus tends to do ........

I lost the ball, but I have a feeling the young fella lost his stroke and distance

[grazo]

Originally Posted by Dave Ireland

Great post btw Rock ...... I played a public course some years ago that backed onto what you ppl would call a ghetto. I carved a wild one into the forest went into the deepest darkest jungle for a quick scan for it, whereupon I espy a young couple inflagrante delecto..... and awkward moment ensues as yer coitus interuptus tends to do ........

I lost the ball, but I have a feeling the young fella lost his stroke and distance

That is GOLD!

[Bravo]

Rock and Dave:

Great posts both.

Rock your story played out like a novella...

Scene opening. Introduction of characters.

The plot - up and down with twists and turns.

And the surprising ending.

When ya gonna go back out there and give her some lessons???

And when you do - pls provide update.

[buddha33]

mmmm...19 year old golf beav...mmmmmm.

Had to laugh out loud on the geriatric rhymer...stellar story.

[namvet66]

Rock,

Your story started my day in fine fashion, thanks for the amusing (most of it)
post.

I can hardly wait for the SEQUEL.

[Rockford35]

Originally Posted by namvet66

Rock,

Your story started my day in fine fashion, thanks for the amusing (most of it)
post.

I can hardly wait for the SEQUEL.

Nam, i'll do my best to have you enjoy the ENTIRE story next time!

I don' think i'll be giving her any lessons, i have a lady at home that i love and cherish. As Method Man once said, "No need to shop around if you got the good stuff at home". (I have no idea where i pick this garbage up)

I was more concerned about the gross irregularity that happened with my game. I'm going to chalk it up as "bad weather" (no wind, perfect playing conditions, mind you), but you have to keep positive. Isn't that the Tiger Woods way? Play like crap and then say you're "almost there?"

I need to work on my tight short game, inside 25 feet. For some reason, i've lost that feel. Or, i find myself having ZERO confidence in any of my sticks and i am never using one consitently, always wanting to change in hopes of better results. Basically, it's a trial and error crap shoot. Makes me sick.

I think i'm going to try the Annika Sorenstam method and use my 60* wedge solely as my around the green club. You have to practice alot with it, is my understanding, so that it's like second nature and you could land one in a tea cup. That's my goal. Right now, i'd be happy to hit the bathtub.

R35

[Duckhook Mallard]

Great Story!

Just a quick note regarding the 60 deg wedge. I made a committment about a year ago to use my 60 deg exclusively aroung the green, and its really paid off. It also makes practice much more effective too because you're not trying to chip with every club in your bag and you'll learn much better control/feel with your "rusty weapon."

Peace,
DM

[Rockford35]

I just got back from the range and spent about 45 minutes with the wedge and a bunch of balls. I think i'm about 90% comfortable with it now. Tight lies are tougher as you don't know the result until you hit it.

But for now, it's my go to club, rain or shine.

R35

[DaveE]

Great story Rock. When you got to the part about the girl I couldn't help thinking about Lacy Underall from Caddyshack.

[bdcrowe]

Rock... V'ry fine indeed. Cocerning the girl... What happens on the course stays on the course. Divorce is divorce, of course, of course, unless, of course the divorce is forced my the famouse caddy shed. Or something like that.

J/K bytheway. I have the good stuff at home too. I'll just have to make sure she doesn't get a job as bar wench at your course, you overpowering suave.

[Rockford35]

If anything, i don't blame her. I am, after all, "oozing machismo".

She's a pretty good looking girl, i will have to admit. If i was a single lone wolf, i'd probably be all over that invite.

But, as good men do, they stick with what means most to them.

Golfing.

R35