Great words to live by...

[Rockford35]

I know these have been posted, but they're still great!

-Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

-Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in
your mind during your swing.

-When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you
can either hit one more club or two more balls.

-If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green
while the foursome ahead of you is still putting
out, you have two options: you can immediately shank
a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear
and top a ball halfway there.

-The less skilled the player, the more likely he is
to share his ideas about the golf swing
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always
possible to play worse.

-The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the
instant elimination of the one critical unconscious
motion that allowed you to compensate for all of
your many other errors.

-If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

-Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.

-Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach
shot.

-A golf match is a test of your skill against your
opponents luck.

-It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt
....for an 8.

-Counting on your opponent to inform you when he
breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of
his own haircut.

-Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

-It's not a gimme if you're still away.

-The shortest distance between any two points on a
golf course is a straight line that passes directly
through the center of a very large tree.

-There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and
bounces just the way you meant to play it.

-You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a
two-inch branch 90% of the time.

-If you really want to get better at golf, go back
and take it up at a much earlier age.

-The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

-Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth
bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group
of three.

-When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will
always look down again at exactly the moment when
you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.

-Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore
fundamental equilibrium within the universe.

-If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods
does, simply try to layup just short of a water
hazard.

-There are two things you can learn by stopping your
back-swing at the top and checking the position of
your hands: how many hands you have, and which one
is wearing the glove.

-Hazards attract, fairways repel.

-You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade
on the ball, but no golfer can put a straight on the
ball.

-A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away
is not yours.

-If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the
bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls
are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

R35

[Big Brother Dunk]

Excellent list! It's a good idea to revive that one every once in a while.

[DaveE]

They're funny because they're true. At least for me a bunch of them seem to be.

[Rockford35]

-It's not a gimme if you're still away.

That's classic!

R35

[SiberianDVM]

It could also be: It's not a gimme if you're playing Eldrick in match play.

[Bravo]

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore
fundamental equilibrium within the universe...

This is a gem...the unseen forces of the Golf Gods manipulating us like pawns on the chessboard of golf.

[Davebud]

If you are caught out on the course during an electrical storm, stand very still and hold up a 1 iron straight over your head, not even God can hit a 1 iron.

[Pa Jayhawk]

Originally Posted by Rockford35

-It's not a gimme if you're still away.

That's classic!

R35

Definately a classic, and one I encounter a couple times a week.

My wife and I do match play on the weekends. I don't know how many holes I have won because she won't give me a putt where there is very little question that I will make the putt but will impact who wins the hole, as she faces maybe a 10 footer. She usually procedes to putt just outside of mine and I just go "I think you are still away". I would say more than half the time she procedes to miss a putt that she probably would make had given me mine. I am a better putter than her and I think she gets it in her head that if she thought I may miss, then there is a better chance she will miss, making it much more difficult. It has gotten to the point that I like it much more when she doesn't give me the putt, because it pays of enough.

On the flip side, I usually prefer to give a very easy putt prior to attempting mine because it leaves no doubt that I need to make the putt or at least get it very close to tie, as opposed to thinking their a chance, however small, that she will miss hers.

[Bravo]

Originally Posted by FKA Pa Jayhawk

Definately a classic, and one I encounter a couple times a week.

My wife and I do match play on the weekends. I don't know how many holes I have won because she won't give me a putt where there is very little question that I will make the putt but will impact who wins the hole, as she faces maybe a 10 footer. She usually procedes to putt just outside of mine and I just go "I think you are still away". I would say more than half the time she procedes to miss a putt that she probably would make had given me mine. I am a better putter than her and I think she gets it in her head that if she thought I may miss, then there is a better chance she will miss, making it much more difficult. It has gotten to the point that I like it much more when she doesn't give me the putt, because it pays of enough.

On the flip side, I usually prefer to give a very easy putt prior to attempting mine because it leaves no doubt that I need to make the putt or at least get it very close to tie, as opposed to thinking their a chance, however small, that she will miss hers.

Based on the way your wife thinks, I would hate to see you attempt a divorice proceeding....

[Rockford35]

Originally Posted by Bravo

Based on the way your wife thinks, I would hate to see you attempt a divorice proceeding....

Jayhawk, to his lawyer: "Just get the demands close enough that it's a gimmee."

R35

[bdcrowe]

Too good, Rock. I love 'em...

[Pa Jayhawk]

Originally Posted by Rockford35

Jayhawk, to his lawyer: "Just get the demands close enough that it's a gimmee."

R35

Something about the words "gimmee" and "Lawyer" that are just entirely too fitting.