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Old 10-17-2006, 07:35 AM
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Golf joke

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse."

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey this looks like yours."

"I don't remember much after that"
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Old 10-17-2006, 11:18 AM
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He is lucky he isn't married to my wife, he would have come in with a cow colon wrapped around his neck and difficulty breathing.
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Old 10-17-2006, 12:17 PM
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That's a good one!
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Old 10-17-2006, 04:49 PM
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What would the Joker do?
 
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Heard it before, gets tired the 10th time you hear it, as with most jokes
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Old 10-17-2006, 05:54 PM
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Hey Bames,

You've been very quiet of late.
Everything OK and up to par?

GN
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Old 10-17-2006, 08:05 PM
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Good stuff!

Read it for about the 10th time, and as with most jokes, STILL FUNNY!
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Old 10-18-2006, 08:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emc View Post
Heard it before, gets tired the 10th time you hear it, as with most jokes
Sorry, my psychic powers were a bit off. I'll try not to say anything you've heard before again. But then, you've probably heard that before...
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"I also got a lot of looks when I said the baby smelled like the inside of Home Depot."
- R35

HiBore XL 10.5º w/ProLaunch Red
Mizuno F50 4-wood w/OEM graphite
Baffler 3/R w/Nippon NS950Pro
Baffler 4/R w/Nippon NS950Pro
Baffler 5/R w/Nippon NS950Pro
MacGregor MT 5-PW w/Nippon NS950GH
Vokey SM 54-10 (bent to 52-08)
Vokey SM 58-12 (bent to 56-10)

Guerin-Rife 2-Bar Hybrid Blade
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Old 10-18-2006, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gold nugget View Post
Hey Bames,

You've been very quiet of late.
Everything OK and up to par?

GN
Thanks for the concern - much has happened lately to account for my absence, some fun...some not so fun...
1) My friend from Colorado was in town which means I play a lot more golf than talk about it!
2) We are in the process of transferring internet providers at work because apparently GOOGLE has no problem managing the email accounts of millions of subscribers yet our internet provider cannot seem to manage our little firm of 20 employees
3) Work is so busy that I'm quite sure that I could work around the clock and never catch up to the amount of engineering that needs to be done. I primarily design subdivisions and often find myself asking "Where are all of these people coming from?"
4) I'm one semester away from getting my second bachelor's degree in Business and had to actually do a little school work to catch up in classes
5) We have a new little boy in the family and my 2 yr old son is not too sure that we made the right decision on that one!

Probably more than you wanted to know - but again, I appreciate the fact that you noticed!
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"My car absolutely will not run without my golf clubs in the trunk"

Callaway FT-5 11° Fuji
Titleist 906 F4 15.5° GD YS-6+
Cobra Baffler 23° Nippon Pro NS 950
Mizuno MP-60 4-9i Rifle Flighted
Mizuno MP-32 PW Rifle Flighted
Mizuno MP-T C-Grind 51°
Mizuno MP R Series 56°
Odyssey 2-ball White Hot XG #1

North Dakota

Last edited by bames; 10-18-2006 at 10:54 AM..
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Old 10-19-2006, 04:02 AM
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Hello Bames,

I figured something was up
You are a busy guy. Congrqatulations on the birth of your new boy. That's funny about the reaction from the two year old. He will be very glad to have him around for entertainment. Just have to make sure and instill in him that he will be a very lucky man if he works to make the little bro his best friend for life. Not easy these days. My wife and I have raised 5 kids, so I know a bit about that subject.

Best Regards,

GN
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