Open letter to Colin Montgomery

[IrishGolfer]

Dear Mr Montgomerie

Unlike your bra I have supported you solidly throughout your career. I have shared you anguish at the many near misses. In a manner your upper half can only dream of I have remained firm in my conviction that you were easily good enough to win majors; you simply hadn't had the breaks. It was just bad luck. The golfing gods had not been on your side. How else could such inferior talents such as Lawrie, Curtis and that guy who beat Ernie at St Georges manage to win a major? Such men were not fit to wash your 24 hour girdle never mind win a golf tournament, yet were able to claim the holy grail which had so cruelly eluded you.

Well, fatty, the golfing gods smiled at you last night. A 70 foot snaker after dobbing your drive into the trees at 17th is indeed the slice of luck you needed. You split the fairway at 18th while others were hacking about in the boondai. You only need to hit your 8 iron onto the final green and the ultimate prize was yours. A sodding 8 iron onto a green half the size of Hampden!! Or perhaps in language you will better understand - an area four times the size of your local pie shop!! And what did you do, you blubbery salad dodger?? You fluffed it into the thickest rough on the course, hacked out and three jabbed for a 6!!

I can take no more. The doubters were right. Your are a bigger bottler than Pepsi. Accordingly, please treat this letter as official confirmation of my withdrawal as a card carrying member of your dwindling fan club. I demand my membership fee be reimbursed and have already posted back the commemorative Monty 'Seven in a Row' autographed matching two piece.

Yours faithfully etc

[EDSGolf]

Haha, excellent and hilarious reading!

[Rockford35]

Is Monty your Saturday playing partner?

R35

[DaveE]

Good work Irish. You should send that in to Feherty at golfonline, I'll bet he'd print it.

[SiberianDVM]

Poor Monty. First of all to share a similar name to that other poofter, Montgomery of Alamein, then to get all teary eyed on worldwide hi-definition TV, and to top it off, to lose the trophy to a bloody Aussie. Oy! Oy! Oy!

[Ravenous Bugblatter Beast]

Man, that sucked. When he drained that putt on the 17th, I was on the edge of my seat thinking this could be a great great story of unexpected redemption. Then he drives perfectly on 18, and Mickelson goes out way left on 17, and I'm thinking he's going to win this, he's going to win this.

It was almost like getting punched in the gut seeing Mickelson slice his way back into play at 17, and Monty choking it. Oh jeeze, it just hurt to watch.

[Big Brother Dunk]

Monty, Monty, Monty...

I was so hoping this would be the one.

[cabinessence]

Originally Posted by Ravenous Bugblatter Beast

Man, that sucked. When he drained that putt on the 17th, I was on the edge of my seat thinking this could be a great great story of unexpected redemption. Then he drives perfectly on 18, and Mickelson goes out way left on 17, and I'm thinking he's going to win this, he's going to win this.

It was almost like getting punched in the gut seeing Mickelson slice his way back into play at 17, and Monty choking it. Oh jeeze, it just hurt to watch.

I told my brother that Montgomerie was looking like he would push it, but he probably would have been okay if he hadn't played the 7 instead of the 6. What an awful spot he put himself in. Nothing good ever happens when you switch clubs at the last minute in a pivotal situation.

[NBGolfer]

Painful to watch!

[Bravo]

Great work IG!!

And ironically, it all came in a U.S. tourney where the man was legitmately getting gallery support vs. catcalls from the crowd...

He gagged it...that's all you can say and he will very likely end his career with the Best Player Never to Win a Major medal round his neck....

But along will come another Ryder Cup and he will very likely smash the Yanks again...

Who can figure this guy out??

Perhaps a sportsbra would help.

[ManchesterGolfer]

Originally Posted by IrishGolfer

Dear Mr Montgomerie


Accordingly, please treat this letter as official confirmation of my withdrawal as a card carrying member of your dwindling fan club.

Yours faithfully etc

Well Irish,

Finally Colin has had that weight lifted from his sholders. Obviously the added pressure of such a high profile fan was way to much for colin to handle. The results have been instant 2 succsesive rounds of 68 at Glen eagles and a 2 shot lead after the 2nd round. All on his 43rd birthday and all because you have released that pressure.


But seriously Colin has returned from the wilderness yet again. After the split from his wife and all his other on and off course problems he will be challenging for Major honors again and hopefully will lose the 'Best player not to win major' tag at Liverpool or soon after and without doubt will be a major player in the Ryder cup again this year. For a player I didn't really like that much i can honestly say that I now have nothing but respect and admiration for the man. IF he wins a major I think he will be the most deserving of all major winners considering how many times he's nearly done it over such a long period of time and like a little terrier he keeps taking the kicks and coming back for more. True bulldog spirit!!!

[VtDivot]

I'll take all bets saying he'll NEVER win a major.

[Schemy]

Ouch! I guess you get to the point there Irish.