“Chickens on drugs”

[IrishGolfer]

So I took my life in my hands yesterday and went ice-skating with the family. My 6 year old watched some celebrity ice show on TV and ever since has pestered me to take him to the ice rink. Ice Skating is not exactly popular in Ireland. In fact Northern Ireland is blessed with only one rink. So off we went on a 140 mile round trip to Dundonald Ice Bowl to do the Bank Holiday Skate Gig.

I think I was skating once in my life before, with a few trips to the Roller Disco in the early 80s so I wasn’t exactly an expert, but then again, judging by the amount of “Dad Spills” neither was anyone else. It’s kinda funny watching grown men behave like “chickens on drugs” and I saw a few horrific crashes as overweight guys felt the full force of 20 years of overeating. OCCCHHH!

The whole experience was not exactly fun for me. I had flashes and premonitions of broken wrists, arms, neck etc. and spent my time trying to work out how to fall “softly”. It even flashed through my mind that I would break a limb and be out for the rest of the golf season. Both my wrists have been through the wars so it wouldn’t take much for me to be on the golfing sidelines.

Meantime the Christopher Dean wannabe attached to my right arm was intent on trying to do spins and jumps with no skating experience, so every time he went down I felt that my arm was being pulled from my socket.

But I have to tell you I was magnificent. While Dads were falling round me like “sacks of spuds” I managed to stay up the whole time. Not once did my body grace the cold and wet feel of the ice. Despite my enthusiastic 6 year old’s best attempts to pull me down I was like a rock.

In fact I started to quite enjoy it doing laps and building up some speed towards the end. Don’t get me wrong, I almost lost it several times, but my skating angel managed to keep me upright. I don’t think I would have got many marks for my Interpretation of the music but I got the T-Shirt at the end to say “I survived”.

Don’t think I’ll be back soon, and judging by the bruising to my 6 year old’s backside, I don’t think he’ll be rushing to go back either.

This must be hilarious for all you Canucks who were born wearing skates.

 

[Pa Jayhawk]

I try to stay away from any kind of Ice, unless it comes in a glass with a beverage of choice, or unless I have a couple pounds of salt in my hand. Although I do own rollerblades that I haven't used in close to 10 years, maybe I ought to get them out some time now that I live in a cul-de-sac, and I used to have to drive to find a place that didn't have traffic to run me over as I go aimless down the road. I have only been on ice skates once, and it may be the last time. No need to humiliate myself in front of a large group of people, when I can do so in my own surroundings.

If this does become something that you do more frequently, they sell wrist guards for rollerblading that work quite well, speaking from someone who has had to use them on the asphalt several times. They run about $15-20 last time I checked, and I can guarantee they alreadys saved me from a broken wrist a number of times.

 

[VtDivot]

I played my last hockey game of the season last night - amazing the differece a little geography makes isn't it

 

[The master]

Believe it or not I live 10 minutes from that Ice Rink and have never once been Ice Skating, just doesn't interest me lol. But sounds fun.

 

[Scotty01292]

I used to ice skate all the time. About 5 years ago. Then I stopped and hadn't ice skated since then. I went ice skating at Christmas and actually did remarkably well. The skates were crap, but I didn't fall once and towards the end I managed to do some decent stuff.

I could never get past the skating backwards stage, when I actually had lessons, but I managed it when I went at Christmas.

 

[wirehair]

I went ice skating once. That stuff is hard, and cold, and it hurts!

 

[ualtim]

I went ice skating once. That stuff is hard, and cold, and it hurts!

If you thing the ice is hard, try catching a hockey puck at 90 MPH Those suckers are hard. I spent my formative years playing target...er goaltender...until I graduated from high school. I never broke anything but I know an aweful lot about treating contusions.

 

[chollyred]

When I was a teen, I lived on roller skates and even played some roller hockey. I only tried ice skating 3 times. I never fell, and probably skated better backward than forward, but never did feel comfortable. Never wanted to try again.

Now, 30 years later....

I have a friend (who I suspect really hates me) that gave me a pair of roller skates. My kids keep having these "Skate Nights" for their school (sadistic SOBs - the school, not my kids). I've put on skates twice in the last 6 months. I haven't fallen, but I haven't made it out on the floor yet either. I think my center of gravity and fear of mortality have definitely changed.

 

[Big Brother Dunk]

Congrats on at least giving it a shot. You're a good sport and after all, it was for your kid.