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Golf Dreams

Discussion in 'No Golf For You!' started by TEA Time, Oct 18, 2017.

  1. TEA Time

    TEA Time Grumpy Gilmore Staff Member Admin

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    As in dreams you have while sleeping, not delusions of grandeur. Usually mine involve me really struggling to make contact, or even get the ball on a tee.

    Have a golf dream? Post it here.
     
  2. TEA Time

    TEA Time Grumpy Gilmore Staff Member Admin

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    Last night's dream:

    I stood on the tee box with Peter Jacobsen and a crew of TV people who were following us. It was a beautifully sunny day, slight breeze into us, perfect golf weather. It was 176 yards to the pin which was about 40 feet below us in elevation, the tee box dropped steeply down to the bay that came between us and the green, the only path was a small bridge on the left side. Behind the green was a large dirt hill that rose back up to the same elevation as our tee box, giving the illusion that we were hitting into a lush caldera. On the tee box was a wooden wet bar, though nobody was manning it today. This was professional golf and the players aren’t allowed to drink during tournaments. Fronting the green was a small portion of tan beach sand and some white rocks guarding the right side of the green. Coming up short was no good.

    Jacobsen chose pitching wedge, which I thought was no where near enough club to carry 176 yards, despite the elevation change. Nevertheless, he clubbed the ball to about 20 feet of the hole. The wind kicked up a bit so I pulled a 6-iron figuring going long is a safe play. I stuck the tee into a crack in the concrete that the tee box had suddenly become and took my shot. Thin. I watched the ball leak to the right, hit the rocks, and ricochet back into the bay.

    Once down on the green, I was surveying the spot where the ball last crossed the hazard, looking for a decent drop spot. But there was none. Just rocks and water. So back to the tee I went, Jacobsen clearly annoyed.

    I re-teed the same 6-iron, knowing it was the right club and took my shot again, this time my 3rd stroke with the penalty. This time the shot was clean. The ball landed on the front of the green and rolled straight into the hole. My first ever hole in one came during a PGA event! The crowd cheered and we all high-fived and fist-bumped. Too bad it counts as a 3 on the card.

    When I got down to the green again, I went to fix the divot the ball had left in the green. As I bent down I noticed the divot was actually a hole that went through the grass and I could see a hollow area about 2 inches below the surface. Peter walked over and handed me a red plastic bag about a foot square. He explained that for every hole in one, the player has to put the ball in the bag, mark it with a sharpie, and leave it under the ground where it first landed. As I did this the hole grew to the size of a dinner plate, then finally stopped at about 3 feet in diameter. The soil beneath the surface of the green was only a few inches thick, and there was another foot or so of illuminated empty space, finally the smooth limestone bedrock at the bottom. Winding through the soil were grass and tree roots, tangling up with each other like messy hair. Where the pin met the ground it became a small tree trunk burrowing into the limestone. I could see other bags here and there, remnants of hole in one shots from the past. Some of the bags had disintegrated leaving only the balls looking soiled and rotten. I placed my bag in the thin layer of soil and moved up the dirt hill to the next tee box.
     
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  3. azgreg

    azgreg "Don't count that." Supporting Member

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    I have golf dreams all the time but they're too weird to share with you guys.
     
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  4. TEA Time

    TEA Time Grumpy Gilmore Staff Member Admin

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    Weak.
     
  5. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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    You underestimate the audience.
     
  6. PaPaD

    PaPaD Club ho, geezer........ Supporting Member

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    Not necessarily....................and we want pics.
     
  7. PaPaD

    PaPaD Club ho, geezer........ Supporting Member

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    I played golf with Ashley Graham and it had a happy ending.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. subsonic

    subsonic Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    yummy. She is thick as a brick.
     
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  9. ejdahl21

    ejdahl21 Never Lay Up Supporting Member

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    fify
     
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  10. Fairwaysplitter3320

    Fairwaysplitter3320 Recovering Equipment Ho...off the wagon again. Staff Member Admin

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    My golf dreams are usually struggle fests. In Vegas for work but will update when I'm home.
     
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  11. PaPaD

    PaPaD Club ho, geezer........ Supporting Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. azgreg

    azgreg "Don't count that." Supporting Member

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    My dreams start out normal enough. I'm walking to the tee looking out on a magnificent course then the weird starts. As I bend down to push in the tee all of a sudden I'm trying to push it in concrete. Next thing you know I'm trying to hit my tee shot from inside a house between two dressers. Sometimes I come up to my ball then try to hit a giant rock or a plate. It sometimes gets weirder.
     
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  13. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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    Perfect.
     
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  14. PaPaD

    PaPaD Club ho, geezer........ Supporting Member

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    I'd seek help, Greg..................
     
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  15. eclark53520

    eclark53520 DB Member Extraordinaire Supporting Member

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    I don't think I've ever had golf dreams.

    If I have, I don't remember them. I have hunting dreams though.
     
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  16. TEA Time

    TEA Time Grumpy Gilmore Staff Member Admin

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    Same. The ball turns into something completely unhittable, like a blueberry muffin, yet it seems very normal.
     
  17. limpalong

    limpalong Mental Ward Escapee Supporting Member

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    A week on the beach and then to Vegas. Some people evidently never do work!!!:rolleyes:
     
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  18. TEA Time

    TEA Time Grumpy Gilmore Staff Member Admin

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    Last night's dream: I was at a WEB.com tournament and there was one woman in the field and she was wearing jorts. She made par on the hardest hole on the course (everyone else was making 7s or worse) and celebrated by busting out a Pennzoil-looking quart bottle of vodka and mixed it with soda water in a red solo cup right there on the green and proceeded to pound it.
     
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  19. MCDavis

    MCDavis The Plaid Duffer Staff Member Moderator

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    So many jokes here...you had a web dream...she was on the hardest and pounded it right there on the green...

    Good thing I don't post stuff like that. :D
     
  20. TEA Time

    TEA Time Grumpy Gilmore Staff Member Admin

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    Double entendres are your friend. :D
     
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in my dream i have no room to tee off from in golf