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Create your own. Mine is the law of the tee shot which states "the better your tee shot is the worse your next shot will be".
Add to this....
Add to this....
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Golf Trueisms
- Thread starter warbirdlover
- Start date
The closer your ball looks to the hole from the tee the further it actually is.
I will hit this pitch 2/3s of the way to the hole.
Thinking "Anywhere but the lake" = wet.
Your provisional ball will always be one of 3 places.
1. In the exact same spot as your first one if it is out of bounds or in the water.
2. Nailed straight down the middle of the fairway, not deviating an inch upon its flight.
3. At the absolute furthest point away from your other ball that you could hit it.
1. In the exact same spot as your first one if it is out of bounds or in the water.
2. Nailed straight down the middle of the fairway, not deviating an inch upon its flight.
3. At the absolute furthest point away from your other ball that you could hit it.
- Sep 1, 2004
- 6,546
- 4,981
I'll just go ahead and finish out = missed putt
If you mention the phrase "I'm gonna let the big dog hunt!" in any fashion prior to hitting your tee shot, the big dog will hunt gophers in a part of the woods no one has ever returned from.
The best round of your life will always be followed by the worst round of your life.
OP
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #9
These are great!
dedicatedhacker
Active Member
That's why I don't want to play this weekend, yesterday was my best score for 9 so sun will be 100 before the turn....
- Sep 1, 2004
- 6,546
- 4,981
When you miss a makeable putt you will hole the same putt directly afterwards.
As soon as you put your golf shoes on, your personality changes.
Drinking before or during a round doesn't add distance to your drives.
Brush tees don't add distance to your drives.
You can never justify buying a ProV1
You are not better than your handicap!
As soon as you put your golf shoes on, your personality changes.
Drinking before or during a round doesn't add distance to your drives.
Brush tees don't add distance to your drives.
You can never justify buying a ProV1
You are not better than your handicap!
OP
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #12
A tall tree will suck your ball to it due to a golf ball/ tree magnetism effect. There is nothing you can do about it.
Hot driver = cold putter and vise versa
Play a found Top Flite or TiTech and it'll last 20 rounds. Play a found ProV and you'll lose it on the first hole.
99% of putts that are short don't go in the hole. (Yogi Berra)
The most difficult yardage on any golf course is the 5 1/2" between your ears.
It's always much easier for a golf ball to hit a 2" diamter tree limb than a 20 yard wide fairway.
Carry an umbrella in your bag and you will never be rained out. Leave the durn thing in the trunk for one round and you'll get soaked in one of the biggest thunderstorms you've seen in weeks.
Trees are 90% air. So is a screen door.
If you get mad enough to throw a club, always throw it towards the green. It's much less embarrassing than having to walk back towards the tee box 20 yards to retreive your club.
Never make fun of a fellow player when his drive falls short of the lady's tee. If you do, your next drive will be the first topped drive in 8 rounds and will not make the lady's tee.
One of the easiest ways to meet new people on a golf course is to pick up another player's ball.
If you spend time plumb-bobbing or lining up your 4th putt... DON'T!!
Should you think your game is good enough to play for money, find someone with the "latest and greatest" in a brand new bag. If you choose to play someone with a worn out old 1-iron and a set of blades with dime-sized circles on the face... you'll lose your shirt.
Many who play this game have difficulty with math... determining the length of their drives and recording correct scores.
I dream of playing rounds with good looking, big breasted, short skirted young ladies. I end up playing all my rounds with a bunch of old gents whose belches and farts can be heard two fairways over.
90% of balls striking a tree strike it on the side away from the fairway. The balls always bounce deeper into the woods and never out into the fairway.
99% of putts that are short don't go in the hole. (Yogi Berra)
The most difficult yardage on any golf course is the 5 1/2" between your ears.
It's always much easier for a golf ball to hit a 2" diamter tree limb than a 20 yard wide fairway.
Carry an umbrella in your bag and you will never be rained out. Leave the durn thing in the trunk for one round and you'll get soaked in one of the biggest thunderstorms you've seen in weeks.
Trees are 90% air. So is a screen door.
If you get mad enough to throw a club, always throw it towards the green. It's much less embarrassing than having to walk back towards the tee box 20 yards to retreive your club.
Never make fun of a fellow player when his drive falls short of the lady's tee. If you do, your next drive will be the first topped drive in 8 rounds and will not make the lady's tee.
One of the easiest ways to meet new people on a golf course is to pick up another player's ball.
If you spend time plumb-bobbing or lining up your 4th putt... DON'T!!
Should you think your game is good enough to play for money, find someone with the "latest and greatest" in a brand new bag. If you choose to play someone with a worn out old 1-iron and a set of blades with dime-sized circles on the face... you'll lose your shirt.
Many who play this game have difficulty with math... determining the length of their drives and recording correct scores.
I dream of playing rounds with good looking, big breasted, short skirted young ladies. I end up playing all my rounds with a bunch of old gents whose belches and farts can be heard two fairways over.
90% of balls striking a tree strike it on the side away from the fairway. The balls always bounce deeper into the woods and never out into the fairway.
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