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Goofy friends (other then yourself) you've known

Discussion in 'No Golf For You!' started by warbirdlover, Dec 25, 2019.

  1. warbirdlover

    warbirdlover Ender of all threads Supporting Member

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    I used to play golf with a gentleman from work who's name was also Jerry. He was a chain smoker. He retired a couple years before me after his wife died of cancer. I saw him once in awhile on the golf course golfing with an oxygen tank on his back..... and a cigarette in his mouth. I always expected his oxygen tank would turn into a rocket pack at any time carrying him off to be with his wife. It was scary. No one golfed close to him.
     
  2. limpalong

    limpalong Mental Ward Escapee Supporting Member

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    One of the goofiest is the guy who has been my playing partner and golf partner for 20 years. Talks all the time. Has come close to hitting me with golf balls more than a couple times. Hit our cart with a shank. Tells the same joke about six times, even though you tell him he told you that same one two days ago.

    We had one who played with us for quite a few years. Always the practical joker. Would have a towel tied to his belt... a bath towel... that would drag on the ground. Hit the ball a mile, never knowing where it was going. And, always laughed at those errant shots. About 3 years ago, stuck a shotgun in his mouth while his wife was at work.

    One at our course now. Been retired for a few years. Nothing he hasn't done... and been the best there ever was at it. No place he hasn't been. Any ongoing conversation, he will sit down and take over. If you are talking golf, he has managed courses... won championships at dozens of courses... is personal friends with a number of pros. Well, at least that is what he would lead you to believe. After about 5 minutes of him sitting down, you have to go use the restroom, etc. to simply have an excuse to get away.

    Over the years, have met a number of folks... both on the golf course and during my career... who were certainly suspect at being a half-bubble off. And, I'm sure there are those who would suggest the same about me! If we were all clones of each other, what a boring world this would be!
     
  3. warbirdlover

    warbirdlover Ender of all threads Supporting Member

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    Worked with a guy on third shift that was hilarious. We'd be leaving every morning, kind of in a haze from working when we should be sleeping and he'd whip out a wife joke. His wife was one of those 600+ pounders and so his jokes were all fat jokes. Example, one morning he just opens up and says "I suppose I'll get home and old blimpo will be snoring away". Once he said "I finally took my wife out of the house this weekend. We went to the Winnebago county fair, road all the rides, played the games and went through the 4-H building. Got to the other side and darned if she didn't have a blue ribbon on." And he was fooling around with another woman the same size and his wife found out. He put a .44 mag pistol in his mouth.
     
  4. SiberianDVM

    SiberianDVM I love Hooters Moderator

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    Any non-suicidal stories in the frozen north?
     
  5. eclark53520

    eclark53520 DB Member Extraordinaire Supporting Member

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    Unlikely.

    Especially when you're pounding two heifers.
     

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