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Serious problem!

wirehair

Life's too short to drink cheap wine.
Apr 29, 2005
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OK, I can deal with not walking, and eending help to take a crap, but this ALS stuff has gone too far!

I have been known to have a glass (or several) of wine with a few crackers and some cheese (GOD made Stilton). My left arm has been hard to get along with lately, and I just spent 15 minutes getting a bottle of 2 buck Chuck open. If. Any of you guys know of a bottle opener that can be handled with one hand, please let me know.
 
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wirehair

wirehair

Life's too short to drink cheap wine.
Apr 29, 2005
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Thanks WBL, but I'm looking for a wine bottle opener.
 

eclark53520

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I don't know much about wine....hell, i think it's nasty...anyway

Isn't there a good way to use pressure or vacuum to open wine? Seems like screws would be the inefficient way. Either a needle that would pressurize the inside of the bottle or a device that would seal against the bottle and create a vacuum above the cork should work well...and being battery operated shouldn't need both hands.

Maybe...idk.
 

anonymous golfaholic

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Isn't there a good way to use pressure or vacuum to open wine? Seems like screws would be the inefficient way. Either a needle that would pressurize the inside of the bottle or a device that would seal against the bottle and create a vacuum above the cork should work well...and being battery operated shouldn't need both hands.

Maybe...idk.



Sounds like an expensive gadget and great way to make a mess. IDK, hell it may work.

Wire, you could always just push the cork in. I know it's a red-neck thing to do, but it really doesn't take much effort. Plus, it's a good excuse to drink the whole bottle, because you can't seal it back up.
 

eclark53520

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Sounds like an expensive gadget and great way to make a mess. IDK, hell it may work.

Wire, you could always just push the cork in. I know it's a red-neck thing to do, but it really doesn't take much effort. Plus, it's a good excuse to drink the whole bottle, because you can't seal it back up.

All you would really need is the equivalent to a bike tire pump...press the needle through the cork, pressurize the air above the wine, the pressurized air push's the cork out.

The only issue i see with this is pressurizing the air too quickly and turning the cork into a projectile...which would be negated by using a vacuum system instead.
 

anonymous golfaholic

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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe something that fits over the top of the bottle, that is totally inclosed, with a small push pump on top that creates a vacuum. Then you wouldn't have to puncture the cork with a needle, so you could put the cork back in and store the unfinished bottle on it's side. Reason I say this is because, I have a wine cooler and I have put a half drank bottle back in it and the next morning I had wine all over the floor from where it seeped out of the hole from the corkscrew. Yeah, I'm a dumbshit. But, good idea Clark. Call the patent office.
 

eclark53520

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Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe something that fits over the top of the bottle, that is totally inclosed, with a small push pump on top that creates a vacuum. Then you wouldn't have to puncture the cork with a needle, so you could put the cork back in and store the unfinished bottle on it's side. Reason I say this is because, I have a wine cooler and I have put a half drank bottle back in it and the next morning I had wine all over the floor from where it seeped out of the hole from the corkscrew. Yeah, I'm a dumbshit. But, good idea Clark. Call the patent office.

If it doesn't already exist, it's probably for a reason. There are enough wine drinkers in the world to market something like that to.

Couple of reasons this could fail miserably.

1. It may take too long to build up enough vacuum with a hand operated or very small electric operated pump. Some people need their wine NOW! lol
2. It may not be possible to build a pump small enough to be hand held that can generate enough vacuum to pop the cork
3. It may be too noisy to create a pump that can create enough vacuum...
4. It may be too energy demanding to be hand held...meaning it needs more power than can be supplied via batteries, which would make it very un-appealing to most people...
5. If it is physically possible to create a vacuum style cork remover that isn't loud, slow, and energy hungry, it's probably too expensive for the vast majority of wine drinkers to buy this over a cork style.

So this all rests securely on how much vacuum is needed to pull the average cork from the average bottle. I have absolutely no idea, nor do i have the facilities to find out.

So i won't be headed to the patent office quite yet lol
 

Rockford35

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Screw top wine bottles. That, or buy your wine in a bag.

Don't laugh, both of those wines are often recommended by wine connoisseurs. The vessel has no bearing on taste or quality.

R35
 

warbirdlover

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All you would really need is the equivalent to a bike tire pump...press the needle through the cork, pressurize the air above the wine, the pressurized air push's the cork out.

The only issue i see with this is pressurizing the air too quickly and turning the cork into a projectile...which would be negated by using a vacuum system instead.

I had a friend who used to make dandelion wine. Came in to work one day with his hands all bandaged up from the bottle exploding. I wouldn't fool with vacuum or pressure opening a wine bottle.
 

eclark53520

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I had a friend who used to make dandelion wine. Came in to work one day with his hands all bandaged up from the bottle exploding. I wouldn't fool with vacuum or pressure opening a wine bottle.

Another possible issue. However, i'm fairly sure a vacuum style cork remover wouldn't cause any issues. It would cause just as much pressure difference inside the bottle as removing the cork with a screw.

Honestly though, i doubt a glass bottle is going to explode from the pressure needed to pop the cork. Most likely cause of a bottle breaking on someone would be thermal shock.
 
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wirehair

wirehair

Life's too short to drink cheap wine.
Apr 29, 2005
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Rather than vacuum, why not go with pressure and a CO2 cartridge?

or, do what I've decided..."honey, will you open this?" ..... Hmmmm, now that I think of it, I've heard that before.
 

JEFF4i

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Wait wait wait...they make wine that doesn't come in a box?
 

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