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The Random Thoughts Thread

PaPaD

Geezer, recovering club ho.
Supporting Member
Jan 5, 2015
8,707
10,396
Fredericksburg VA & Hernando FLA
Country
United States United States
SINCE IT WAS SUCH A CRAPPY DAY, I SAT IN MY RECLINER AND STARTED
THINKING ABOUT LIFE. I CAME TO REALIZE THAT AS I HAVE GROWN OLDER
I'VE LEARNED THAT PLEASING EVERYONE IS IMPOSSIBLE, BUT PISSING
EVERYONE OFF IS A PIECE OF CAKE.

CONDOMS DON'T GUARANTEE SAFE SEX ANYMORE, A FRIEND OF MINE WAS
WEARING ONE WHEN HE WAS SHOT BY THE WOMAN'S HUSBAND

Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how
everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he
achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when
I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.

DRIVE BY….SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE LAST WEEK. THEY DIDN'T
TAKE MY TV, JUST THE REMOTE. NOW THEY DRIVE BY AND CHANGE THE
CHANNELS. SICK BASTARDS!!!

The Agony of Aging….On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended
I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis
with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing
checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".

Video Scam….Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD
entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf.
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

PREGNANT PROSTITUTE…DOCTOR ASKS A PREGNANT PROSTITUTE, "DO YOU KNOW
WHO THE FATHER IS?" "HEY DUMB ASS, SHE REPLIED, IF YOU ATE A CAN OF
BEANS WOULD YOU KNOW WHICH ONE MADE YOU FART!
 

IrishGolfer

Fac ut gaudeam
Supporting Member
Sep 1, 2004
6,542
4,976
A critical gearbox failed and no one could fix it. So they brought in a bloke with great trouble-shooting experience. He inspected the gear drive very carefully. After looking things over, the guy reached into his bag and pulled out a small tool. He gently tapped something. Before long, the gearbox was back working! The owners got his bill for $10k. "What?!" the owners said, "You hardly did anything. Send us an itemized bill.”

The reply simply said:
Tapping with a hammer. $50
Knowing where to tap. $9950

Don't underestimate experience!
 

TheTrueReview

"Playing it straight"
Supporting Member
Jan 8, 2009
8,204
6,042
Country
Australia Australia
Went to a yoga class at my local gym today. I'm seeking more flexibility to help my golf swing. Really enjoyed it. I'll be back.
 

eclark53520

DB Member Extraordinaire
Supporting Member
Dec 24, 2007
17,521
7,590
South Central Wisconsin
Country
United States United States
Yoga or hot yoga? Heard both are great!

Just normal yoga. I avoid hot yoga. I think it's a bit of a fad. Heck, I hate saunas.

dafuq-is-this-shit-meme-3664.jpg
 

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