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No idea.........but I think she's psycho.......
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The Random Thoughts Thread
- Thread starter TEA Time
- Start date
If it has to piss sitting down, it's a given.
I have owned a couple of 600 sport bikes and a 550 Kawi, for myself the R1 is superior in every facet & just a blast to ride. Would I ride it down to Tail of the Dragon? Hell no as for that distance it would be miserable, but for 200-300 mile days it's superb.
- Oct 21, 2008
- 3,432
- 4,342
Don't drink the water...
600cc class sport bikes are really bad street bikes IMO. Worse than the litre bikes...at least the litre bikes have enough torque to get out of their own way without downshifting 3x.
I much prefer an L-twin or an I4 with a redline around 11k for the street. Something you don't need to wind out to get power out of. Something that even at low RPM you can throttle up and go. Something you can ride a long damn time without getting fatigued.
I thought my SV650S was a fantastic street bike, good low RPM power, not overly powerful, great brakes with a master cylinder upgrade, cheap tires, cheap in general, and those L-twin motors are bulletproof. I would take that all day every day over any of the super sports to ride on the street.
Glark's wife rides me better than he's ever ridden any bike.
I had a random thought.................wait.............it's coming to me..............wait..............ah, shit.
It's hell getting old.
kinda
SO I'VE BEEN WONDERING...
DO fish ever sneeze?
CAN sour cream go bad?
WHAT is the speed of dark?
WHY do clocks run clockwise?
WHY do doughnuts have holes?
WHAT do you call a male ladybug?
IS there another word for synonym?
WHY isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
WHY don't sheep shrink when it rains?
CAN vegetarians eat animal crackers?
WHAT do chickens think we taste like?
WHY does unscented hair spray smell?
WHY is it that rain drops but snow falls?
IF a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
WHAT... is another word for Thesaurus?
WHY is a bra singular and panties plural?
WHY do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
WHY is "abbreviated" such a long word?
IS it okay to use the AM radio after noon?
IF love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
WHY isn't there a mouse-flavoured cat food?
HOW and why do horses sleep standing up?
WHY do ketchup bottles have narrow necks?
WHY don't people snore when they're awake?
WHY isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
DO Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
WHY didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
WHAT was the best thing before sliced bread?
IS a clear conscience a sign of a bad memory?
IF you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
WHAT do people in China call their good plates?
WHAT happens to the tread that wears off tyres?
WHAT does the phrase "Now then" really mean?
HOW do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
SUPPOSE the hokey-pokey is what its all about?
WHY do psychics have to ask you for your name?
WHY doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
WHY do people like to pop bubble wrap so much?
DO crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
WHY are people immune to their own body odour?
IF you can boycott shampoo and demand real poo?
WHY do you never hear about gruntled employees?
IF ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
WHAT happens if you get scared half to death twice?
IF man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?
WHY do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
IF the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
WHEN cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
WHY do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
IF all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
WHAT would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
WHY is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
IF you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
WHY does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
WHY is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?
IF a book about failures doesn't sell well, is it a success?
WHEN dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
WOULD you still be hungry if you ate pasta and antipasto?
IF Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
WHY can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
HOW does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?
WHAT would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
IF flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
IF nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
WHY must there be five syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"
WHY don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
WHY is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
IF they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
WHY do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
IF a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
WHY are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
HAVE you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
WHEN dogs bark for hour on end, why don't they ever get hoarse?
WHAT size were hailstones before the game of golf was invented?
WHY do we say that something is out of whack? What is a whack?
IF you go to a general store, will they let you buy anything specific?
IF con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
WHAT hair colour do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
WHY do superficial paper cuts tend to hurt more than grosser cuts?
IF you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
WHY are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
THE early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
WHY is experience something you don't get until just after you need it?
IF one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest also have to drown?
WHY do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
IF we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
WHY is the period of the day with the slowest traffic called the rush hour?
WHY are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
SHOULD we be concerned that engineers describe their work as "practice?"
HOW do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom?
IF cement was invented 7,000 years ago, why isn't the whole planet paved?
WHY do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot-dog buns 8 to a package?
WHY is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad?
WHY do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
IF you build an idiot-proof system, will the world create a better-quality idiot?
WHY do engineers call it research when they're searching for something new?
HOW many roads does a man need to travel down before he admits he is lost?
IF the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?
WHY do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
IF the 711 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
IF you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
IF quitters never win and winners never quit, why should you "quit while you're ahead?"
WHEN two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss rather than a near hit?
DOES current emphasis on artificial intelligence support the existence of artificial stupidity?
IF a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
LIGHT travels faster than sound; is that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?
WHEN a fly alights on the ceiling, does it perform a loop or a roll in order to get upside down?
HOW do military cadets find their caps after tossing them in the air at graduation ceremonies?
HOW do they get deer to cross a highway where they place one of those yellow warning signs?
WHY is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
AIRPLANES have an indestructible black box. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
WHEN you pick something up so your hands are full, why does someplace on your face start to itch?
WHY is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
IF it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be?
A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. What occurs at a desk with a work station?
WHY is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?
DO fish ever sneeze?
CAN sour cream go bad?
WHAT is the speed of dark?
WHY do clocks run clockwise?
WHY do doughnuts have holes?
WHAT do you call a male ladybug?
IS there another word for synonym?
WHY isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
WHY don't sheep shrink when it rains?
CAN vegetarians eat animal crackers?
WHAT do chickens think we taste like?
WHY does unscented hair spray smell?
WHY is it that rain drops but snow falls?
IF a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
WHAT... is another word for Thesaurus?
WHY is a bra singular and panties plural?
WHY do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
WHY is "abbreviated" such a long word?
IS it okay to use the AM radio after noon?
IF love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
WHY isn't there a mouse-flavoured cat food?
HOW and why do horses sleep standing up?
WHY do ketchup bottles have narrow necks?
WHY don't people snore when they're awake?
WHY isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
DO Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
WHY didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
WHAT was the best thing before sliced bread?
IS a clear conscience a sign of a bad memory?
IF you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
WHAT do people in China call their good plates?
WHAT happens to the tread that wears off tyres?
WHAT does the phrase "Now then" really mean?
HOW do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
SUPPOSE the hokey-pokey is what its all about?
WHY do psychics have to ask you for your name?
WHY doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
WHY do people like to pop bubble wrap so much?
DO crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
WHY are people immune to their own body odour?
IF you can boycott shampoo and demand real poo?
WHY do you never hear about gruntled employees?
IF ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
WHAT happens if you get scared half to death twice?
IF man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?
WHY do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
IF the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
WHEN cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
WHY do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
IF all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
WHAT would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
WHY is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
IF you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
WHY does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
WHY is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?
IF a book about failures doesn't sell well, is it a success?
WHEN dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
WOULD you still be hungry if you ate pasta and antipasto?
IF Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
WHY can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
HOW does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?
WHAT would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
IF flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
IF nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
WHY must there be five syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"
WHY don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
WHY is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
IF they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
WHY do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
IF a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
WHY are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
HAVE you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
WHEN dogs bark for hour on end, why don't they ever get hoarse?
WHAT size were hailstones before the game of golf was invented?
WHY do we say that something is out of whack? What is a whack?
IF you go to a general store, will they let you buy anything specific?
IF con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
WHAT hair colour do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
WHY do superficial paper cuts tend to hurt more than grosser cuts?
IF you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
WHY are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
THE early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
WHY is experience something you don't get until just after you need it?
IF one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest also have to drown?
WHY do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
IF we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
WHY is the period of the day with the slowest traffic called the rush hour?
WHY are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
SHOULD we be concerned that engineers describe their work as "practice?"
HOW do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom?
IF cement was invented 7,000 years ago, why isn't the whole planet paved?
WHY do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot-dog buns 8 to a package?
WHY is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad?
WHY do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
IF you build an idiot-proof system, will the world create a better-quality idiot?
WHY do engineers call it research when they're searching for something new?
HOW many roads does a man need to travel down before he admits he is lost?
IF the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?
WHY do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
IF the 711 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
IF you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
IF quitters never win and winners never quit, why should you "quit while you're ahead?"
WHEN two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss rather than a near hit?
DOES current emphasis on artificial intelligence support the existence of artificial stupidity?
IF a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
LIGHT travels faster than sound; is that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?
WHEN a fly alights on the ceiling, does it perform a loop or a roll in order to get upside down?
HOW do military cadets find their caps after tossing them in the air at graduation ceremonies?
HOW do they get deer to cross a highway where they place one of those yellow warning signs?
WHY is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
AIRPLANES have an indestructible black box. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
WHEN you pick something up so your hands are full, why does someplace on your face start to itch?
WHY is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
IF it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be?
A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. What occurs at a desk with a work station?
WHY is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship its called cargo?
SO I'VE BEEN WONDERING...
DO fish ever sneeze? yes, but I cannot prove it
CAN sour cream go bad? No, it only gets more sour
WHAT is the speed of dark? the inverse of the speed of light
WHY do clocks run clockwise? why not?
WHY do doughnuts have holes? without holes, they would be a danish
WHAT do you call a male ladybug? fudgepacker
IS there another word for synonym? yes
WHY isn't 11 pronounced onety one? I thought it was - that's how I say it
WHY don't sheep shrink when it rains? they're smart enough to go inside
CAN vegetarians eat animal crackers? yes
WHAT do chickens think we taste like? homo sapiens
WHY does unscented hair spray smell? if it was scented it would stink
WHY is it that rain drops but snow falls? rain does fall
IF a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? yes
WHAT... is another word for Thesaurus? Stegosaurus?
WHY is a bra singular and panties plural? mmmmmm, panties.....
WHY do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ya got me.............
WHY is "abbreviated" such a long word? I blame the latins
IS it okay to use the AM radio after noon? yes
IF love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? because most men are not blind
WHY isn't there a mouse-flavoured cat food? There is
HOW and why do horses sleep standing up? they close their eye
WHY do ketchup bottles have narrow necks? damn good question
WHY don't people snore when they're awake? I do..............
WHY isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? yes
DO Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? yes
WHY didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? DAMN him!!!
WHAT was the best thing before sliced bread? Phillips head screws
IS a clear conscience a sign of a bad memory? absolutely
IF you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn? pink
WHAT do people in China call their good plates? China, stupid
WHAT happens to the tread that wears off tyres? it becomes asphalt
WHAT does the phrase "Now then" really mean? "Now then"
HOW do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? Oh, shit............
SUPPOSE the hokey-pokey is what its all about? You mean it's not?
WHY do psychics have to ask you for your name? Verification
WHY doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? DAMN good question
WHY do people like to pop bubble wrap so much? It feels great, right?
DO crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? That's so bad
WHY are people immune to their own body odour? and farts too, right?
IF you can boycott shampoo and demand real poo? go ahead......
WHY do you never hear about gruntled employees? They're happy
IF ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? they wised up
WHAT happens if you get scared half to death twice? you are now 1/4
IF man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes? some of them chose to stay
WHY do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? DAMN good question
IF the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? #1 are only gov't issue
WHEN cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Burger
WHY do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? we follow the signs
IF all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? DAMN good question
WHAT would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag? faster?
WHY is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? We can, actually
IF you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? Yes
IF a book about failures doesn't sell well, is it a success? No
WHEN dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Old dogs
WOULD you still be hungry if you ate pasta and antipasto? No
IF Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? for orgies
WHY can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? DAMN good question
HOW does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work? Snowshoes
WHAT would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? ahhhhhhhh!!
IF flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? it's the end
IF nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan? DAMN good question
WHY must there be five syllables in the word "monosyllabic?" Latins.....
WHY is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? In case the pall bearers drop it
IF they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? squeezing babies, stupid.
WHY do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM? for blind motorists, stupid
IF a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? The Thesaurus
HAVE you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations? Yes
WHAT size were hailstones before the game of golf was invented? Golf is older than hail
WHY do we say that something is out of whack? What is a whack? you are
IF you go to a general store, will they let you buy anything specific? No
IF con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Yes
WHAT hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? None
IF you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? Yes
WHY are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited? Yes
THE early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Yes
WHY is experience something you don't get until just after you need it? It's a communist plot..........
IF one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest also have to drown? Yes, at the same time
WHY do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Yes
IF we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? The get our help
WHY are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? the FAA requires that planes crash before anyone exits the plane.....
HOW do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom? DAMN good question
WHY do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot-dog buns 8 to a package? I hate that......
WHY is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad? I hate that too...........
WHY do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. To keep it stale, stupid
IF you build an idiot-proof system, will the world create a better-quality idiot? Yes
WHY do engineers call it research when they're searching for something new? They don't know if it's new yet
HOW many roads does a man need to travel down before he admits he is lost? Unanswered...........for eternity
IF the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent? They can skip that part
WHY do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? You can drink and drive......just not legally
IF you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? You cause a black hole to form
IF quitters never win and winners never quit, why should you "quit while you're ahead?" Winners know WHEN to quit...............
DOES current emphasis on artificial intelligence support the existence of artificial stupidity? Trust me - stupidity is REAL
IF a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight? Freedom, stupid
WHEN a fly alights on the ceiling, does it perform a loop or a roll in order to get upside down? Yes
AIRPLANES have an indestructible black box. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? DAMN good question
WHEN you pick something up so your hands are full, why does someplace on your face start to itch? DAMN good question
WHY is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? I don't
IF it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be? 2 X 0 stupid
A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. What occurs at a desk with a work station? Work stops, stupid
DO fish ever sneeze? yes, but I cannot prove it
CAN sour cream go bad? No, it only gets more sour
WHAT is the speed of dark? the inverse of the speed of light
WHY do clocks run clockwise? why not?
WHY do doughnuts have holes? without holes, they would be a danish
WHAT do you call a male ladybug? fudgepacker
IS there another word for synonym? yes
WHY isn't 11 pronounced onety one? I thought it was - that's how I say it
WHY don't sheep shrink when it rains? they're smart enough to go inside
CAN vegetarians eat animal crackers? yes
WHAT do chickens think we taste like? homo sapiens
WHY does unscented hair spray smell? if it was scented it would stink
WHY is it that rain drops but snow falls? rain does fall
IF a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? yes
WHAT... is another word for Thesaurus? Stegosaurus?
WHY is a bra singular and panties plural? mmmmmm, panties.....
WHY do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ya got me.............
WHY is "abbreviated" such a long word? I blame the latins
IS it okay to use the AM radio after noon? yes
IF love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? because most men are not blind
WHY isn't there a mouse-flavoured cat food? There is
HOW and why do horses sleep standing up? they close their eye
WHY do ketchup bottles have narrow necks? damn good question
WHY don't people snore when they're awake? I do..............
WHY isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? yes
DO Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? yes
WHY didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? DAMN him!!!
WHAT was the best thing before sliced bread? Phillips head screws
IS a clear conscience a sign of a bad memory? absolutely
IF you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn? pink
WHAT do people in China call their good plates? China, stupid
WHAT happens to the tread that wears off tyres? it becomes asphalt
WHAT does the phrase "Now then" really mean? "Now then"
HOW do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? Oh, shit............
SUPPOSE the hokey-pokey is what its all about? You mean it's not?
WHY do psychics have to ask you for your name? Verification
WHY doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? DAMN good question
WHY do people like to pop bubble wrap so much? It feels great, right?
DO crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? That's so bad
WHY are people immune to their own body odour? and farts too, right?
IF you can boycott shampoo and demand real poo? go ahead......
WHY do you never hear about gruntled employees? They're happy
IF ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? they wised up
WHAT happens if you get scared half to death twice? you are now 1/4
IF man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes? some of them chose to stay
WHY do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? DAMN good question
IF the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? #1 are only gov't issue
WHEN cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Burger
WHY do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? we follow the signs
IF all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? DAMN good question
WHAT would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag? faster?
WHY is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? We can, actually
IF you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? Yes
IF a book about failures doesn't sell well, is it a success? No
WHEN dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Old dogs
WOULD you still be hungry if you ate pasta and antipasto? No
IF Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? for orgies
WHY can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? DAMN good question
HOW does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work? Snowshoes
WHAT would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? ahhhhhhhh!!
IF flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? it's the end
IF nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan? DAMN good question
WHY must there be five syllables in the word "monosyllabic?" Latins.....
WHY is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? In case the pall bearers drop it
IF they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? squeezing babies, stupid.
WHY do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM? for blind motorists, stupid
IF a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? The Thesaurus
HAVE you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations? Yes
WHAT size were hailstones before the game of golf was invented? Golf is older than hail
WHY do we say that something is out of whack? What is a whack? you are
IF you go to a general store, will they let you buy anything specific? No
IF con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Yes
WHAT hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? None
IF you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? Yes
WHY are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited? Yes
THE early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Yes
WHY is experience something you don't get until just after you need it? It's a communist plot..........
IF one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest also have to drown? Yes, at the same time
WHY do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Yes
IF we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? The get our help
WHY are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? the FAA requires that planes crash before anyone exits the plane.....
HOW do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom? DAMN good question
WHY do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot-dog buns 8 to a package? I hate that......
WHY is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad? I hate that too...........
WHY do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. To keep it stale, stupid
IF you build an idiot-proof system, will the world create a better-quality idiot? Yes
WHY do engineers call it research when they're searching for something new? They don't know if it's new yet
HOW many roads does a man need to travel down before he admits he is lost? Unanswered...........for eternity
IF the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent? They can skip that part
WHY do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? You can drink and drive......just not legally
IF you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? You cause a black hole to form
IF quitters never win and winners never quit, why should you "quit while you're ahead?" Winners know WHEN to quit...............
DOES current emphasis on artificial intelligence support the existence of artificial stupidity? Trust me - stupidity is REAL
IF a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight? Freedom, stupid
WHEN a fly alights on the ceiling, does it perform a loop or a roll in order to get upside down? Yes
AIRPLANES have an indestructible black box. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? DAMN good question
WHEN you pick something up so your hands are full, why does someplace on your face start to itch? DAMN good question
WHY is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? I don't
IF it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be? 2 X 0 stupid
A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. What occurs at a desk with a work station? Work stops, stupid
You answered all those Steve? You need a hobby. I recommend either learn a musical instrument or maybe learn to play golf.
I skipped a few..........
Apparently Vanilla Ice is tweeting live storm coverage from his beach front home.
Vanilla Ice (@vanillaice) | Twitter
Vanilla Ice (@vanillaice) | Twitter
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