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Y'all are boring today

Discussion in 'No Golf For You!' started by eclark53520, Apr 16, 2013.

  1. ualtim

    ualtim Carrollton, TX Supporting Member

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    Yup, just another reason not to swim in the ocean.
     
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  2. warbirdlover

    warbirdlover Ender of all threads Supporting Member

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    Those poor sharks (hammerhead?). Just ignore them and they won't hurt you. Yeah, right.:rolleyes:
     
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  3. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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  4. Fairwaysplitter3320

    Fairwaysplitter3320 Recovering Equipment Ho...off the wagon again. Staff Member Admin

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  5. limpalong

    limpalong Mental Ward Escapee Supporting Member

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    Why I don't swim, boat, fish, or do anything that involves water other than shower and shave!!!!!
     
  6. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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  7. limpalong

    limpalong Mental Ward Escapee Supporting Member

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    TheTrueReview likes this.
  8. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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  9. azgreg

    azgreg "Don't count that." Supporting Member

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    I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...

    But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle.
     
  10. SiberianDVM

    SiberianDVM I love Hooters Moderator

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    Got back from the hospital last evening about 2030 from my 2nd spinal surgery, this one on my lower back for herniated discs in the lumbar area. Lots of pain in the incision area, but controllable with Percoset. Really hoping to be able to work on my cars and swing a golf club in a few weeks.
     
  11. azgreg

    azgreg "Don't count that." Supporting Member

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    Get well doc.
     
  12. limpalong

    limpalong Mental Ward Escapee Supporting Member

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    Pay attention to the doc, Doc!! Heal quick and get back to your "toys"!!!!
     
  13. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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    Fusion or disc trimming?
     
  14. PaPaD

    PaPaD Club ho, geezer........ Supporting Member

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    Been there done that, but not twice. You know the drill. Get well soon!
     
  15. warbirdlover

    warbirdlover Ender of all threads Supporting Member

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    I Was Thinking ....



    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
    Can you cry under water?
    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
    Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
    What disease did cured ham actually have?
    How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON
    TV ?
    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
    Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
    Why Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
    Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
     
  16. PaPaD

    PaPaD Club ho, geezer........ Supporting Member

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    It's funny, I was just asking myself those very questions......
     
  17. azgreg

    azgreg "Don't count that." Supporting Member

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    A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said "This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine". The Priest said "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby". The little boy replied "If you rub turpentine on a cat's arse, he'll pass a Harley Davidson!"
     
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  18. azgreg

    azgreg "Don't count that." Supporting Member

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    Her boyfriend was dying. She was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice "There's something I must confess". "Shhh" she said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright". "No, I must die in peace" he said "I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker". "I know" she whispered "That's why I poisoned you. Now close your eyes".
     
  19. TheTrueReview

    TheTrueReview "Playing it straight" Supporting Member

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    A normal day in Australia. A dingo on a beach, eating a shark while two deadly snakes mate nearby.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. limpalong

    limpalong Mental Ward Escapee Supporting Member

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    "Normal"???!!!??? Ya gotta be kidding...….
     
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