Your Best Practical Jokes

[footballking732]

bravo, those are some of the best stories ive ever heard!! wow, that was the hardest ive laughed in a year.. keep em coming..

 

[Youngun5]

bravo has single handedly revolutionized this thread! great stuff.

i wish i could take credit for this but I can't....

my sophomore year of high school another school in the district received one of the best senior pranks i've ever heard of. overnight some kids let loose 3 greased pigs in the school numbered 1 , 2, and 4. school faculty must've been looking for that 4th nonexistant pig for a month before they gave up.

 

[spankdoggie]

I like this practical joke though: GoPotato TV - Original comedy shows and the internet's funniest videos!

To many tards crossing the line these days, and it is nice to see a cool practical joke, albeit stupid...

spank

 

[JEFF4i]

Anyone ever see that "jokers" or whatever skit on SNL where the practical joke was beating someone with a tire iron? That was hilarious, and so true how people just go too far.

But some of these are great jokes. Smart, funny, and has some line.

 

[Bravo]

OK here's the next one....another friend is getting married. This time in North Carolina. There's a big group of us up there. We've only been out of college for a year or two and everyone's on a tight budget.

My roomate and I reserve a hotel room with two double beds...(he really needs all the length he can get at 6'7").
We check in and change clothes for the Rehearsal Dinner. The rest of the clan of course is showing up throughout Friday afternoon and checking into their rooms....everybody doubling up as we did.

So we have the rehearsal dinner and hit the bars later. We get back to our room and another guy had somehow gotten into the room and was passed out in one of our beds...we checked around with the rest of the guys and he did not get a reservation for himself....so we figured he thought (stupidly) he could sleep with us.

We go to the bed and take off the blanket and top sheet. We grab the bottom fitted sheet at the top and bottom and pick him up like he is in a hammock.

Take him out into the middle of the parking lot and lay him down. Then we start taking furniture from the hotel rooms such as desks and chairs and we build a 'fort' over his body about 7 feet high.

Then we go to bed.

The next morning at 7 AM, one of the grandmothers is going to breakfast and notices the pile of furniture stacked out in the middle of the parking lot. She calls the hotel manager and the staff goes out there to unpile it all.

They are shocked to find a slumbering body underneath it all and could hardly roust him.

Apparently, a couple of minutes later they were able to get him up and he came to our door and knocked.

When we opened it he said, "What happened"?

hehehehehehe....Goldilocks and the three bears. Don't sleep in my bed.....

 

[warbirdlover]

You sure you didn't write the script for Tom Hanks movie "Bachelor Party"?

 

[Bravo]

In our golf traveling group, now in its 27th year, we were playing north of Atlanta at Chateau Elan...While we were in the golf shop regsitering, one of the fellows got some vaseline and spread it on the grips of another fellow's clubs.

Needless to say - he didn't play too well that day.

 

[footballking732]

In our golf traveling group, now in its 27th year, we were playing north of Atlanta at Chateau Elan...While we were in the golf shop regsitering, one of the fellows got some vaseline and spread it on the grips of another fellow's clubs.

Needless to say - he didn't play too well that day.

i would be soo pissed if someone did that to my clubs. they'd probably need replacing..

 

[Bravo]

i would be soo pissed if someone did that to my clubs. they'd probably need replacing..

He was pretty mad about it and got the guy back the next night when he was in bed asleep. Poured syrup all over him. When he woke up, it was in his hair etc. In his shoes too.

Fight fire with fire...

 

[JEFF4i]

I'd have sodomized him with a chicken head. Nobody messes with my clubs.

 

[footballking732]

I'd have sodomized him with a chicken head. Nobody messes with my clubs.

lmao... funny shit jeff.. but i know you are serious, id hate to see what would happen if someone put a skymark on your driver...

 

[usa1950]

Good stuff....... What I lack in quantity, I hope to make up with quality.

The best one ever done to me, was when I was getting married. I went to pick up my best man from the airport (this was in 1996) and we sit down at the airport bar for a beer. He's patient, and about 10 minutes in, he calmly reaches down to his carry-on bag, which was sitting near my foot.

He unzips the bag, takes out one handcuff, and quicly attaches it to my ankle, picks up his carry on bag, and hands it to me. It's heavy as he11. I open up the bag, and on the other end of what appears to be 4 feet of extremely strong chain (not handcuff size chain but rather links about two inches long and thick as hell) the other end of the chain was a..... BOWLING BALL. He of course had the key to the handcuffs, and I was required to carry around my "ball and chain" for the next three days. I'm walking through the airport carrying a bowling ball chained to my ankle and he is laughing his ass off. Everywhere we went, I was attached to it, for two and half days. Slept with it on the floor for crying out loud. He did allow me to take it off for the rehearsal while in the church, but I agreed to wear it as me and my fiancee made our entrance at the rehearsal dinner. I just carried the thing in my arms, drug it around a bit, etc. It got a big laugh at the dinner. After three days, the thing was beat all to heck, and we had just about everyone ask us what the hell was going on everywhere we went. "He's getting married!" my buddies would say. The women would look puzzled, and the men would just smile. One guy, an older guy, gave us a $20 and said... "next round is on me fellas," and walked away. Looking back, it was pretty good stuff. Try getting a full size bowling ball, with a giant four foot chain CEMENTED into one of the finger holes, and handcuffs on the other end through airport security in 2007.

The best one I ever pulled should win awards here on ST.... I pulled it off over three days at a PGA TOUR EVENT. The event in San Diego at Torrey Pines, 1994. (Can't recall what the sponsor was back then, or the official name of the Tourney....)

Anyway, I worked for Anheuser Busch Promoting Michelob Beer, and travelled tournament to tournament on the PGA Tour and Senior Tour. We had a new guy with us, who was not the sharpest tool in the shed, There were four of us total. Anyway, this guy must have been too far from home for too long (we'd do 35+ tournies per year) and he started REALLY noticing every single woman who walked by. He could not NOT make a comment about nearly EVERY female on the golf course. Spectravision at the hotel only gets a traveller so far, see. So we decied to try to take advantage of his, um.... vulnerability.

We would take turns wandering the course and watch some golf from time to time, and once when he came back from an hour or so off, we tell him an old high school friend of his (we were all from St. Louis and knew where each other went to school) had stopped by looking for hiim, and tell him her name was Melba. He had been out of school for at least ten years, and walked around the rest of the day trying to picture this "Melba" from his past. We had the year right, etc. etc. Tell him she was Hot as Hell, Blonde, bumpy in all the right places, whatever. He goes nuts for the rest of the day, clearly excited about a hot woman nearby that KNEW him, instead of strangers.

Meanwhile, one of us calls our hotel, and leaves a message for him. When he gets back, he has a phone message from his "Melba," saying that she wants to meet up with him, sorry she missed him at the course, etc. We of course tell him we told her what hotel we were staying at, trying to help him out (wink wink) etc. He actually thanks us..... :laugh:

Next day (Thursday of the event) I go and watch some golf, and tell him I saw Melba, she is coming over later.... and she looks even better today than yesterday, has a friend with her, etc. The guy is salivating at this point. The front of his pants no longer fit... just the zipper part. :laugh:

She never shows, but he is scanning the crowd all day. We play it up, pointing to women as they go by... "Is that Melba? Which one, the hot one there in the pink top? No, the one behind her.. the tall one in the Red. No that's not her. Sorry." The guy is going absolutely nuts. He's quizzing us... how tall was she? Same year as me? Did she say where she lived? etc. etc. All day with this, and when he gets back to the hotel, another phone message from his beloved Melba.... but we've had enough

We try to end it by telling the guy the girls name is Melba TOAST. Incredibly, he does not make the connection, and walks around saying "Melba Toast... Melba Toast...." it is so familiar, I just can't remember her!!
Cue more comments about how good looking she is by those of use who have "seen" her when she has stopped by and our guy was gone. Think those were B cups? No, definitely C's. Yeah, with a shirt that tight, you could see them clearly, etc. etc. etc. Yeah, probably C's. She seems a bit wild, don't you think? Yeah, but a "classy" wild.. just right." and on and on and on.

But the guy still does not make the MELBA TOAST connection despite us saying the TOAST part repeatedly.

Here is where it gets good. Going from PGA Tour Stop to Tour stop we became good friends with a lot of people.... a few caddies, PGA staff, and especially the technology guys. The guys who run the scoreboards, all the scoring computers which give live shot by shot scores in all the luxury tents and fan areas like ours (we had two sweet IBM computers connectied to the network at every tourney.) We gave these guys free beers any night they wanted, free golf stuff, tickets if they needed extra, had dinner with them at least once per week, got them into the Rolling Stones with us etc... and when they heard of our little joke, they wanted in. The would often come by and ask if he'd been able to find Melba, etc. We giggle in the corner trying to restrain ourselves at every turn.

So we hatched the master plan....

On EVERY Freaking Scoreboard across the entire golf course... the BIG scoreboards about the size of the side of a city bus.. the mid 90's kind with black and day-glo yellow squares which flip over to reaveal images, scores, sponsors logos, weather info etc... on every scoreboard about 10 AM on Friday at the Torrey Pines PGA Event in 1994, read the following.

"Attention Golf Fans......(Our Guys name) please call Melba T at (314) XXX-XXXX" including an icon the tour showed when communicating messages. It was as official as official can get. (Incidentally the 314 area code is in St. Louis)

The message was part of the regular scroll, and wouldn't ya know it, the dubma$$ missed it the first few times through... so we had to wait for the scores to cycle through, sponsors messages, etc. Then it would come up again, and we'd try to get him to see it. He finally does, and just about wet his pants. He rushes around to get our crew phone to call the number.... but we are pretending to use it.

He borrows another guys cell phone, and practically dials the number with one hand on the phone, and the other in a place I don't want to mention :laugh:. "It's a 314 number. That's GOT to be her cell phone!!" he exclaims.

He of course gets a generic voice mail... TO OUR OWN FREAKING CREW PHONE... the same one we are pretending to use. He leaves a message for "Melba" a stumbling, babbling thing aksing her to dinner, can't wait to see her again, it's great she's in San Diego, please call him, stop by the hotel, stop by our exhibit, etc etcl etc.

We then get him back in our behind the scenes area, where we have the free beer, a satellite dish, couches, etc.

And on the table is a box of MELBA TOAST crackers.

He comes outside carrying the crackers, pissed as he11, and we are all there, including the IBM scoreboard guys, laughing so hard at least two of us wet ourselves.

The guy of course NEVER lived it down. We kept the message saved and listened to it every so often.


Sorry bout the long post.... but not many of us have pulled off their greatest trick while at a PGA event.... even if the mark was an idiot.

Bryan

 

[Bravo]

Bryan:

I feel like we know each other already....the MELBA story was fantastic.

It has all of the great hallmarks of a superb joke: cunning, planning and execution.

And of course, Humiliation.

I am scratching my head to bring up my next few and may have to consult a couple of old buddies before I post my next few chapters....

 

[Adam Pettman]

Bryan, thats funny.

 

[Eracer]

Great story Bryan. I would pay money to see you and Bravo go at it, mano a mano. Could make for a brilliant movie.

Melba Toast...:laugh: