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Absurd Golf Magazine covers...

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
I often have my golf magazines in the bathroom :laugh: and was noticing the cover of the March issue of GOLF.

Here were the 'instructional' descriptions:

1) How to be the guy who never loses a match
2) How to turn 4-footers into tap-ins
3) Hit the shot you want every time.

I mean - get real here - if they were able to accomplish this by the subscriber reading the magazine, you'd be able to beat Tiger.

Amazing Claims No??
 
Jun 24, 2006
1,948
9
What else are they goingto put on there?

-reading this will do nothing for your game
-Don't waste your time
-101 ways to hit a shank. ( I have perfected about 5-6 BTW :laugh:)
-a bunch of useless information
-a waste of paper
 

ualtim

Carrollton, TX
Supporting Member
Aug 20, 2005
7,779
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United States United States
Does the assclench work as well in the bathroom as it does on the course?:laugh:


If you were to believe all the claims on the covers of Golf and Golf Digest, I would have "saved" about 57 strokes off my handicap each year I read both magazines. Yes, sir, I am now a +1028 handicapper. :D
 
OP
Bravo

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #4
Does the assclench work as well in the bathroom as it does on the course?:laugh:

If I used it in the bathroom, I would be reaching for Preparation H all the time....
 

ualtim

Carrollton, TX
Supporting Member
Aug 20, 2005
7,779
2,331
Country
United States United States
What else are they goingto put on there?

-reading this will do nothing for your game
-Don't waste your time
-101 ways to hit a shank. ( I have perfected about 5-6 BTW :laugh:)
-a bunch of useless information
-a waste of paper

It should be the truth:

-Taylor Made/Addidas spent a lot of money on advertising, plesae buy their stuff
-Callaway has spent a mint on advertising, don't you need a new driver?
-The latest in Golf Gimicary: What the hell, its only 3 payments of $29.95 give it a shot.
-David Feherty: Skip the trash and go right to the back page.
 

ualtim

Carrollton, TX
Supporting Member
Aug 20, 2005
7,779
2,331
Country
United States United States
If I used it in the bathroom, I would be reaching for Preparation H all the time....

I envison the assclench to be sort of "pre shot" routine. Perform the assclench, run to the bathroom, and release. :D

After a hard night of beverages, you can not tell me the above scenario has not occured. :laugh:
 
OP
Bravo

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #7
I envison the assclench to be sort of "pre shot" routine. Perform the assclench, run to the bathroom, and release. :D

After a hard night of beverages, you can not tell me the above scenario has not occured. :laugh:

hehehe...the best laugh of the day by far....:biglol:
 

Sandy

Well-Known Member
Aug 29, 2006
907
0
Inspired by this thread I just went to look through all the covers of the old golf magazines I keep in my 'reading room' (the reading room that happens to have a bath, sink and toilet in it) and see what difference it would make if I followed their advice on my driving.

The good news is that, from their covers, I could add a staggering 255 yards onto my drives if I read their articles and used their tips and drills!

Watch out par 5s, here I come!!!
 

irfan

Well-Known Member
May 6, 2007
66
0
lookin thru some back issues here are some winners:
-hit any green from 200+ yards
-chunk proof your chips
-15 more yards of carry, 10 more yards of rolls
-chip it close EVERY time!
-Save 6 shots by saturday
-the ONE tip that will change your game
-Hit it LONG & STRAIGHT
-bomb your drives, target your irons, tsick your wedges
-The secret left arm "L" power coil
-Gain 25 yards with a bad swing!

and my favs:
-How you can CRUSH IT! til your head for 10 extra yards
--close your stance for 15 more!
---try the baseball turn to add another 20!!

-Hit the Shot you want, every time

and...

-"You can BUY a better game. We guarantee it!"
 

Mors Ab Alto

New Member
Aug 28, 2006
228
0
-"You can BUY a better game. We guarantee it!"

I posted a thread about this very subject a few months back, and this was the cover that prompted me to do so. The very idea that by purchasing new equipment, I could become a better golfer, well that just blew my fuse. I decided then and there to cancel my subscriptions to GD and GM. However, I do rip out the David Feherty section out of old GMs I find at my course. The only good part of that magazine.
 

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