Babies and Golf.....How to...

[MrT]

Hey there everyone! I haven't been on here in a while and things look great. I have always enjoyed talking about all things golf with fellow golfers and I've gotten a lot of great tips on my swing and my new clubs (Mizunos MX 200's...they are sweet!).

So here's another question for you.....My wife are expecting our first child, which is awesome! So how do you handle golf and a new born? The little guy is due Feb. 3rd and that's just in time for the new season...haha.

I have golf buddies with kids who say "you'll never play again" and the others will say " you'll play as much as you want."

So all you golf dads out there, how do you do it?

Thanks and Happy New Year!!!

 

[TheTrueReview]

From memory, someone previously posted a photo of their kid in a stroller & the golf clubs sitting in back. A unique combo that killed two birds with the one stone. (congrats on the impending arrival)

 

[nututhugame]

From memory, someone previously posted a photo of their kid in a stroller & the golf clubs sitting in back. A unique combo that killed two birds with the one stone. (congrats on the impending arrival)

That was mddubya and I think that was for a grandchild. Really it all depends on your lady (and baby's temperment). My wife breast fed so I got to go a lot. If you don't know, breast feeding is practically all consuming for a few months for the mother and the dad doesn't do too much.

 

[Rockford35]

It's extremely time consuming, and it should be. Work out a balance in your life, and with your partner, so that when you get time away, so does she. My wife and I have an understanding, that if I borrow against the bank, i'm expected to pay dividends down the line. Which, I am happy to do.

As for your game, it will suffer. But, I use my time away as 4 or 5 hours to reflect on what's most important to me - my wife, and my 3 wood, er my son.

Honestly, golf is secondary. But it's also important to get some "me" time to refocus, recharge and have some fun. Even shooting 108 and having a couple beers with the boys while talking about the cart girl is a healthy thing to do. And when you get home, you have that drooling, smiling, pooping bugger to remind you of what's important. And your kid is there too.

What keeps me even is thinking about taking the little one out to the range or the putting green some calm evening for the first time. I don't remember the first time I swung a club, but I still have the 3W, the 7 iron and the putter that my grandfather cut down for me. And that's something special, when I can mix my passions with my passion.

R35

 

[BigJim13]

It's extremely time consuming, and it should be. Work out a balance in your life, and with your partner, so that when you get time away, so does she. My wife and I have an understanding, that if I borrow against the bank, i'm expected to pay dividends down the line. Which, I am happy to do.

As for your game, it will suffer. But, I use my time away as 4 or 5 hours to reflect on what's most important to me - my wife, and my 3 wood, er my son.

Honestly, golf is secondary. But it's also important to get some "me" time to refocus, recharge and have some fun. Even shooting 108 and having a couple beers with the boys while talking about the cart girl is a healthy thing to do. And when you get home, you have that drooling, smiling, pooping bugger to remind you of what's important. And your kid is there too.

What keeps me even is thinking about taking the little one out to the range or the putting green some calm evening for the first time. I don't remember the first time I swung a club, but I still have the 3W, the 7 iron and the putter that my grandfather cut down for me. And that's something special, when I can mix my passions with my passion.

R35

Good post.

I have a 4yr old daughter. I went from playing 3-4 times a week, to playing 3-4 times a month. This year I hardly played at all. My priorities have shifted. The shocking thing for me is that I don't miss it as much as I thought I would. I mean, really lets face it, none of us are going to be on the Tour anytime soon (Euro or PGA) and it's just a game. I like to get away now and then but it's hard to justify it when you have you daughter saying "daddy can you come ride bikes with me" or "daddy lets go for a walk!"

Maybe when she gets a bit older she will want to play with me, but for now it's barbies and bicycles that take precedence over birdies and bogeys and I don't mind one bit!

 

[limpalong]

The little guy is due Feb. 3rd and that's just in time for the new season...haha.

February 3rd, is a pretty good day to have a child born. Our eldest was born on February 3, 1972. If the math is working today, she'll turn 39 this year. And... I play golf!

One of the difficult things about golf is the significant time it takes to play a round. By the time you drive to a course, play a 4-5 hour round, and drive home, you have killed the better part of the day. That is a long time away from a new family. Golf can also be expensive. Spending dollars on a game that takes you away from the family for most of a day can cause some friction in a relationship. Work through those things with your wife. If need be, be willing to give up... or significantly curtail... your golf activity for a few years while raising your children. Should that sacrifice be required, the dividends will be huge!! Conversely, to put golf... or any activity or addiction... ahead of family will cost you much more than you will ever be able to make back up.

The very best gift you can give your children is the respect for and love of their mother. A strong family unit is a partnership... not a one 'man' accomplishment. Work through these things with your wife. Can you squeeze in a quick round as a "dew sweeper" on weekends while she and the baby are still sleeping? If you want to play an afternoon round, could you compromise with 9 holes instead of 18?

When my two daughters were born, I didn't know what a golf club was. Had never played the game. I was an avid gun nut. Had a FFL, probably 20 firearms, loaders for shotshell, rifle, and handgun, and an addiction for hunting/shooting. My work kept me on the road through the week. So, to come home on weekends and tell the wife I was going hunting would have resulted in her telling me to hunt another place to live!! When the second child was a baby, I sold every firearm and accessory item I owned... except for a couple handguns. I've never hunted since. Once the kids were old enough to do things on their own, I took up this crazy game of golf. My wife understands the "sacrifice" I made to spend what time I had with her and the kids and, now, is quite understanding of my spending time on the golf course. We are blessed with three kids who get along, talk to each other weekly (even though they live significant distances apart), a passel of grandkids, and plenty of time now to play this game called golf.
Keep the communication with your wife open. Put your family first. If you are "allowed" to play an occassional round, those rounds will be so much more enjoyable than if you "force" your options of playing the rounds required to keep your game honed a top-tier level.

Good luck with the baby!!!!

 

[anonymous golfaholic]

Enjoy that baby! They grow like crazy! Forget about playing more than once every two weeks. Work on you short game in the back yard as much as possible. If your wife doesn't want you to play, don't. If you leave anyway and go play, you will play like shit. I promise. Expect your hdcp to rise as fast as your desire to play. There is light at the end of the tunnel for your golf game. My son is 3 now and loves to go golfing. It's pretty awesome.

 

[MercMan]

You sound like me 19 years ago!!! You are in for a life altering experience in a very good way, the birth of your first child will completely change the way you look at life. You will give up a lot of your own time, and do it willingly. Golf will come a distant second in your life, this is not a bad thing, just a change. You may get a chance to relive part of your child hood if your lucky, I helped coach my son's team's etc. you will rejoice in their triumph's and despair in their failures, drive too and fro, be there for support and give advice. Unfortunately for me golf became an unpleasant experience. My swing deteriorated, my expectations were too high, Tiger Wood's "arrived" which meant every idiot with a set of clubs was on the course, taking 10 practice swings and eyeing every putt like it was the masters, rounds well over 5 hours was the norm. I didn't enjoy myself on the course and ended up leaving the game for 11 years. Now my son's are graduating, off to university next year! Got the bug to start playing again last year, and so the rebuilding of my game is on, everything feels new and fresh, and I am excited to play again. You are probably thinking your more of an addict than I was, just to give you a idea, minimum 6 hours of range practice per week, every week and usually 2 rounds per week year round, providing there was no snow. My lowest handicap was 4.6. You will probably have about 2-3 years when they are small that you will still play a fair amount, and then the time will eventually erode away, and golf will become secondary. Hopefully golf will not become unpleasant and your expectations of your game will not be too high. Enjoy your children they will be grown and off before you know it.:canadaflag:

 

[Augster]

You can still play all you want, you just end up playing by yourself more often. At least I did.

When I had my son, I would play every day almost with him in the jogging stroller and my clubs in back. Just play on a 9 when nobody else is there.

When I had my daughter, I didn't get to play as much as now we needed to take a cart.

So, to make up for the lesser amount of rounds I was getting, I started getting up early and being a dewsweeper. To me, it is important to get rounds of golf in. It's what I like to do and every round I get in depreciates my cost per round of my season pass at my course. Moreover, in Minnesota, we can't play 3-4 months out of the year, so that is a forced exile from the game. So during the season, if you want to play, you need to get out and play as it isn't always going to be an option.

I enjoy playing the game of golf much more than needing to play with people. I am always playing against myself, the course, and trying to get better and lower my handicap. If you see the game as I do, start getting up before dawn. Get out to the course before the sun comes up and jump the first tee time. I can play a round in 2.5 hours, and that's if I play slow. Up at 5, teeing off by 5:30, done by 8AM, usually earlier. You have the entire rest of the day to spend with your wife and child. Moreso, you are up and not tired anymore, so you can take them to breakfast occasionally.

It all comes down to dedication. If you are dedicated to getting better at golf, you will find a way to get rounds in with the minimum of sacrifice to your time with your family.

 

[Esox]

I played once a week, rarely twice, when my daughter was small. My wife was cool with that, and even gave up the game herself. If she didn't want me to play, so be it. I didn't and it didn't bother me. The cool thing is when my daughter got to be 8 she took some lessons in a group setting. Then at 9 and 10 she wasn't that interested, but would hit some balls on occasion. When she turned 11 she took a big interest and we bought a family membership at a semi-private club, and she and my wife played on a semi-regular basis which increased my golf. At 12 she started playing junior tournaments and the family played at least twice a week beyond that. Last year at 13 she played all the time and more competitively rounds. This year she will play/practice most every single day in preparation for high school golf. She's a 12 'cap and was shooting in the low 80's in the fall.

Playing with my family has easily tripled my time on the course. If your wife has interest you could have that to look forward to, albeit down the road. Lots of guys don't want to play with their family. I love it, and still play in the men's clubs and other events at our club. Next year my wife will play in the ladies club at the same time on Saturday mornings. My daughter will be there most every day as we will drop her off. She has a swing coach there.

Get the kid some clubs when feasible. You'll lose some golf early, but gain a lot later on.

Kevin

 

[eclark53520]

I have a 5 year old....didn't start golfing till she was about 3, so i can't really comment on golf with a newborn around the house.

It hasn't been an issue, but she is getting old enough now that on slow days i take her with me. She has a putter and a pink ball she takes onto the green and putts around while i'm finishing up the hole. Obviously i only do this when there is no one behind us and i will let people play through if they do catch up. But really, she figured out that once i put my ball in the hole, it's time to go so she better make the best of it so it doesn't take any longer than me putting out for the most part. She has a great time driving the cart and is very excited to get out and get her ball in the cup.

 

[bames]

I have 6, 4, and 2 year old boys. My deal with my wife is similar to Rocks and it has worked out quite well. Especially now that the 6 and 4 yr old like to hit the range. But basically communication (yep, the C-word) is key. Every Sunday we go over the upcoming week's schedule and I basically ask HER when it would be good for HER for me to golf. Now, that usually means a 6:00 am tee time on Saturday, but since we are both willing to give a little I generally play once a week still. And congrats on the new arrival. Still the second proudest day of my life...the first is when my 2nd shot over the water at Hawktree found the green on a par 5 with Rock at Hawktree.

 

[Rockford35]

..the first is when my 2nd shot over the water at Hawktree found the green on a par 5 with Rock at Hawktree.

You see? Priorities for this dude!

(I just never had the heart to tell him I secretly threw one down on the green out of my bag....LOL)

T

 

[IrishGolfer]

Congrats on the new arrival. I have 3 boys, 11, 8 and 2. If you look at my handicap, it correlates very closely with the arrivals. I play generally once a week at first light on a Saturday. I play with a bunch of guys in the same boat as me and we have a good laugh most of the time. I get some range time in the summer but late on, when the young one is in bed. The two older boys have also taken to the game a little, so I tend to take them out on summer nights, good times.

As a few have already said golf becomes secondary with kids. You fit it around, you become flexible, you negotiate. And when you do get out you enjoy it a lot more. The "me" time is huge, so smelling the flowers along the way is very important too.

 

[Rockford35]

As a few have already said golf becomes secondary with kids. You fit it around, you become flexible, you negotiate. And when you do get out you enjoy it a lot more. The "me" time is huge, so smelling the flowers along the way is very important too.

Well said. And what's also important is realizing that Mom needs this time too. Maybe not at the golf course, but out doing what she wants to. The compromise is worth it's weight in gold.

R35