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Consultants....good joke...

Rockford35

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Aug 30, 2004
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A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
 

DaveE

The golfer fka ST Champ
Aug 31, 2004
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3
Thanks for the laugh but the next time I eat out I'm not gonna want to use a spoon. Thanks for that too. ;)
 

Bravo

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Aug 27, 2004
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Wouldn't you hate it if you worked there and they made you use a fork instead of a spoon?

Yeeeooowch.
 
OP
Rockford35

Rockford35

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Aug 30, 2004
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  • Thread Starter
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Chop Sticks. One might work it's way where it shouldn't.

R35
 

Snug_18

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Aug 27, 2004
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In a former life I worked for EDS, a global tech consulting company and have to say the joke is hilarious and accurate. I was amazed when my boss or other senior management revenue hawk would "advise" us to ensure our billed hours met project estimates regardless of actual time to complete which was usually less than projected. The inane tasks we actually billed clients for was embarrasing, I actually recorded billable time for "ensuring technical specifications of infrastructure met performance requirements." Translation - the client ordered equipment, I made sure that the equipment they ordered was right, even though we spec'd the order - unbelievable and at $150/hr.

After I left, I was fortunate enough to do some application architecture work for the Red Cross in D.C. and felt like that was worthwhile and productive. That gig restored my sanity, although the paycut was brutal.
 

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