Dear Abby letter

[Dorkman53]

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the
beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's
worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.
Also, since he lost his job five years ago, he hasn't even looked for a
new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and
bull---- with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since
our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me
and hints that I may be a lesbian.

What should I do?

Signed, Clueless

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore.
You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like one.

 

[Clugnut]

Careful, she might get out the "testicle lockbox" for you!

 

[Dorkman53]

I have received two additional Hillary related e-mails in the last few days, so I guess I'll share them, too.
.
.
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<tt>Hillary Clinton was spending the morning at a primary school in Ithaca, New York </tt>
<tt>to talk to the children about her job as a US Senator. </tt>

<tt>After her talk, she offered question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and </tt>
<tt>the Senator asks him what his name is.</tt>

<tt>"Kenneth."</tt>

<tt>"And what is your question, Kenneth?"</tt>

<tt>"I have three questions:</tt>

<tt>First - Whatever happened to your medical health care plan? </tt>

<tt>Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? </tt>


<tt>And third - Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?" </tt>

<tt>Just then th e bell rang for recess.</tt>

<tt>Hillary Clinton informed the kids that they would continue after recess.</tt>

<tt>When they resumed, Hillary said, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, </tt>
<tt>question time.</tt>

<tt>Who has a question?"</tt>

<tt>A different little boy raised his hand; the esteemed Senator from New</tt>
<tt>York pointed him out and asked him what his name is.</tt>

<tt>"Larry."</tt>

<tt>"And what is your question?"</tt>

<tt>"I have five questions: </tt>

<tt>First - Whatever happened to your medical health care plan? </tt>

<tt>Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? </tt>


<tt>Third - Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House? </tt>

<tt>Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? </tt>

<tt>And fifth - What happened to Kenneth?"</tt>

........

BOOK REPORTS

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During fun, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica.....ooh, let's not go there,either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

 

[Sandpiper3]

hehe, i like the kenneth one. poor kid.

 

[Farquod]

DM! Good to see ya. Here's an add in from the other side (i.e., member's forum)...

http://www.shottalk.com/forum/members-only/10088-overactive-e-mail.html

 

[Sandpiper3]

DM! Good to see ya. Here's an add in from the other side (i.e., member's forum)...

http://www.shottalk.com/forum/members-only/10088-overactive-e-mail.html

awww, it wont let me open it

 

[Farquod]

awww, it wont let me open it

Talk to Sling. It won't let me upload the same jpeg in 2 places!

Sling?

 

[Slingblade61]

Ta da...........

 

[Sandpiper3]

Thats cute sling

 

[Rockford35]

Talk to Sling. It won't let me upload the same jpeg in 2 places!

Sling?

You can just cut and paste the source text string. It'll work that way.

R35

 

[Farquod]

You can just cut and paste the source text string. It'll work that way.

R35

Ok, thanx bud. I can grab the string in edit mode. :thumbs up:

 

[Bravo]

My favorites:

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica.....ooh, let's not go there,either.

 

[Dorkman53]

And now for another opinion on the subject....

From "The Onion", the satirical "newspaper".....
Hillary Clinton Tries To Woo Voters By Rescinding Candidacy | The Onion - America's Finest News Source