Do you really care?

[Lamma]

When I'm playing golf with someone, I could not care less how they're doing. I act like I do and give the requisite compliment for an excellent shot, but really, the only thing I actually care about is my next shot.

I also don't make a big effort to help someone find a ball unless it's a client. Then I have to pretend to be interested and helpful. I also don't expect anyone to help me find my ball. If I don't find the thing after a quick search, I just drop another and go on. Why don't I care to help people find their ball? Because I don't care. It's a whole circular logic thing.

Whether my playing partner(s) is a scratch golfer or a 45 handicap struggling to get his ball off the ground, I don't care, I've been there before many times and it's part of the game. But the bottom line is that I just want to hit my shot and get on with the game.

And if I don't like the guy I'm playing with, I silently root for them to do poorly. Deepak Chopra says this is a bad thing but that's coming from a guy who on a cold day likes to imagine a hot poker up his backside.

It's not that I don't like the people I play with. The vast majority of the time I've been grouped with very likable people. My apathy doesn't necessarily indicate a desire that they do poorly (see above paragraph), it's just that it doesn't mean a hill of beans to me if a guy tops his drive off the tee or sinks a 40 footer for an eagle.

I know I'm not the only one. The day I got my very first birdie years ago, I hit a tremendous 7 wood from 214 yards on a par three that landed 18 inches from the hole. I putted in and on the way to the next hole I was telling the guy next to me that "man, that was my first bird ever". He just kind of nodded his head and looked back down at the scorecard. Okay, fine. I don't need a way to go! or a congratulations. I enjoy the game for the good shots I make from time to time.

And it doesn't bother me that other players don't care about my shots. They're out there to have fun and do the best they can. I guess the whole point of this is that I'm an apathetic shut in who doesn't appreciate the efforts of others. It's really the only thing I can think of right now. Or maybe it's because I care more about myself that anyone else whom I'm not married to or didn't reproduce.

Believe it or not, I'm a really affable and fun guy to be around. Really, I am. No, no, no, I'm not as much of a douchebag as this post makes me sound...

 

[obagain]

Are you sure

 

[Rockford35]

I could absolutely care less. In fact, I'm the worst for giving others my score if they're keeping track. I have my own scorecard and I use that for my own personal use.

Golf is a rare game in that it's both individual and a social thing. I love being out there with my buddies, but win or lose, I don't give two shits.

R35

 

[Silver]

I'm right with you Lamma. When playing with my landlord last week, I asked him after the front nine if he was keeping score..."no, I thought you were writing it down?!" Well, I wasn't, because I don't care how he does. We figured it all out, but regardless - if you want me to keep score, tell me.

My pet peeve (which is bad, because it's something that I do) is when someone has an explanation or an excuse for every shot they hit. Dude, I don't care that you aimed 15* further left and it still went right. Just hit the ball and let me do the same.

 

[longiron]

I dont realy care what you think on the course or off. LOL sorry had to be said. I thought i was the only one who felt this way. The more they talk the worse i play. I keep my score you keep yours.

 

[goatster]

the only time i really pay attention is during league matches.i have run into a few guys who just dont know ghow to count and i dont want to get beat by a cheater.

as for social rounds unless there is money goin on it i dont pay alot of attention.if they want to fake there score i figure it only hurts them.as far as lookin for other peoples balls if it looks like there having trouble finding it i will help so we can get a moveon.i generally dont even look for my own ball that much if i figure its lost ill take a quick look.if i think i know where it is i may look for a couple minutes but thats it.

 

[Slingblade61]

I'm glad I don't play golf with you guy's!

I do care, I am enthralled. I love to see people do well especially when they suck but manage to achieve some small victory. It is the narcotic that keeps me coming back.

Playing anything, DOING anything with such a detached mind set, in my mind, makes things pretty dull. If you don't care, if you take no joy in the success of others, why do it at all?

 

[BentGrass]

I care how people are doing. I also golf better playing with good players. But, I still enjoy playing with new players as long as they know how to keep pace.

I guess I really don't care what your final score is as long as you are happy with it. A few weeks ago, on the same round, my wife and I both had our best 9 holes ever. Granted the scores where 13 strokes apart, but we where both really happy and enjoyed it.
I just think golf is a great sport if you are golfing with your family, a stranger, your best friends, your co-workers, your mother-in-law, or by yourself. Ok, well, maybe not your mother-in-law.

 

[Kilted Arab]

I play most Saturdays with an ex-poster on these forums. And I want to beat the crap out of him.

Hardly ever happens, though...but it gives me a target, a standard to aim for. Having that standard helps me concentrate, think what I'm doing - the major benefit for me has been the realisation that I don't need to match him shot for shot, quite simply I'm not good enough for that. So course management has become key for me.

I've found that on days when I manage the course I do better against him and obviously score better. I'm not sure I'd have come to this realisation as quickly, or have stuck to it as much, had I not been playing semi-competitively against the little b'stard.

 

[MyGolfDomain.com]

I've been watching people's behavior a little on this lately. When I see a great shot I usually react and say something and look at the reaction of the player then see if anybody else seems to care at all.

First of all, the majority of the players don't seem to care much themselves, so others don't care much either. Golfers are typically pretty quiet and unemotional. I think the longer someone plays the less emotional they are about the game. At that point, the've pretty much seen it all.

In tournaments there is even less emotion than typical weekend rounds other than negative emotion.

Maybe golfers should start acting a little more like players in other "sports"...it seems like in other sports there is more, not less emotion the more someone has played.

 

[Youngun5]

are you just venting man or.............

everyone plays their own way and feels different about it

i've played with both types and it doesn't matter to me,

i just try to match the energy level of my playing partners, if they are busting their butts looking for my wayward ball (fewer of those now thank god) then i'll do the same for them

if they wanna be an emotionless jerk then i can do that too,

but i'm not gonna throw up barriers until i've atleast played several holes, because i was brought up better than that


thanks man, you just killed a decent day for me

 

[Augster]

Myself, I always care. I always will say nice shot, nice putt, good 2, good 3 etc. etc. Subconciously, I ALWAYS want to win in my group, whether it's a tourney or a round "for fun".

99% of the time I play I am in a tournament and/or have money on the line. This necessitates caring for EXACTLY what each and every other player is doing. And keeping their score as well as mine.

I always go out of my way to help others look for their ball. This is just common sense because it speeds up play. If a ball is going to be found by one guy in 5 minutes, 4 guys should find it in about a minute. If it's going to be hopeless, I don't bother, but I will give the guy the line I saw the ball go in at.

Cheering against others is against the entire world of Karma. I have had enough bad luck in this life to not even try to tempt fate that way. The only exception is match play. Where each and every one of your opponents shots affect your next shot. That's the only time I would cheer against someone.

In medal play, I'd much rather play well and beat a guy with a good score than cheer against a guy and hope to beat him by his bad play. Which is an easier, more fulfilling day? When I beat a guy with my 74 to his 76 or when I beat him 84 to 95? I'll tell you, for me, shooting 84 is a piece of shit bad day and winning by 11 shots against a guy isn't going to make me feel any better about myself. Most days, I'd like the reverse better. I'd rather lose 76 to 74 than win 84 to 95. At least in losing with 76, I'd know I played well and just got beat. Winning with 84? Woohoo, I played like shit and he shot a lot shittier. Yipee.

I definitely cheer for the other guys in my group to do well. It takes a lot less time to shoot a 78 than an 88. A friend of mine shot a 5 under 66 last week hitting 17 greens with no bogeys and 5 birdies. THAT was a thing of beauty to watch. I can't imagine being totally apathetic while a score like that was being shot in my group.

 

[Dave Ireland]

...........I also don't make a big effort to help someone find a ball unless it's a client. Then I have to pretend to be interested and helpful. I also don't expect anyone to help me find my ball. If I don't find the thing after a quick search, I just drop another and go on.

Well I'd care !!! that's a stroke and distance penalty not a penalty drop ...

 

[Kilted Arab]

...........I also don't make a big effort to help someone find a ball unless it's a client. Then I have to pretend to be interested and helpful. I also don't expect anyone to help me find my ball. If I don't find the thing after a quick search, I just drop another and go on.

Well I'd care !!! that's a stroke and distance penalty not a penalty drop ...

I don't think he mentioned a penalty drop, Dave...we could be looking at a Goldfinger/Oddjob scenario here...!

 

[Dave Ireland]

...........I also don't make a big effort to help someone find a ball unless it's a client. Then I have to pretend to be interested and helpful. I also don't expect anyone to help me find my ball. If I don't find the thing after a quick search, I just drop another and go on.

I don't think he mentioned a penalty drop, Dave...we could be looking at a Goldfinger/Oddjob scenario here...!

Then if you add in the golden brick that Sling and Rock were trying to shite we'd have our very own recreation. Speaking personally I don't want to play the role of Bond as he was the one that handled and dropped the brick on the green .... could play oddjob if I lost a few pounds ..... but that's old hat