• Welcome To ShotTalk.com!

    We are one of the oldest and largest Golf forums on the internet with golfers from around the world sharing tips, photos and planning golf outings.

    Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon!

Funny Golf Course Stories

sandwedge

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2006
790
0
I was playing a round with my cousin and he hit a bad shot. He got mad and threw his club, well it bounced off the tire on the cart and richochet back to hit him in the face. He dropped to the ground and landed right on a golf ball that was in his pocket. He ended up with a bruise on his face from the club and one on his leg from the ball. That was a double whammy! I haven't seen him throw a club since.:laugh:
 
Apr 16, 2007
52
0
I got hit in the face by a (soft) pitch about a week back on a putting green, haha. Gave me a wee scare - and it was my brother who was pitching, oddly enough. Maybe he was aiming at me.
 

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
I told these a couple of years ago here....both occurred on one of our traveling trips which we have been doing for 26 years now...

1) We are playing on a course in Central Alabama that is on a lake. The effing geese are all over the course and loiter on the greens quite a bit, leaving their green shit everywhere....

One of my friends has a 150 yard shot to the green and selects a 7 iron. As he sets up, I see an entire gaggle of about 12 geese plodding across the green....

He hits his ball...its up and flying high straight toward the green.

I see one goose in particular who appears to be in the flight path of his ball. Down it comes, smacking the goose in the hindquarters. (Meanwhile, the ball - after caroming off the goose, squirts across the green about 30 feet away.)

The goose lurches forward about three more steps and then falls over on his side.....kind of like watching an old Charlie Chaplin movie.

We are on the ground laughing our heads off. You'd have to see it to believe it. Then we had the controversy over whether the goose was an "Outside Agency"...

2) This group drinks beer heavily while playing. We play a regular stroke play morning round and then after lunch, we play a scramble. (Often have 12 players in three groups).

One guy is an ex-football player who starts drinking beer at 7:30 am. By the mid-afternoon, he is completely shit-faced.

So we have just teed off on a par 3, after our group in front of us has just cleared the green. We hit quickly and drive up to see what is going on with them (try to obtain their score so far)...

As I drive up to one of their carts, I smell a horrible smell and see a golf towel that is covered in brown draped over the wire rack behind the seats.

The football player is seated in the passenger seat and I can tell he is positively plastered. Beer cans are everywhere....

I get out of my cart and walk over to them and see a stream of brown is running out of his golf shorts and down his legs onto his socks.

He has shit in his pants.

I asked when it happened. About an hour previously.

He had been playing for an hour with shit running down his legs....
 

sandwedge

Well-Known Member
Oct 19, 2006
790
0
2) This group drinks beer heavily while playing. We play a regular stroke play morning round and then after lunch, we play a scramble. (Often have 12 players in three groups).

One guy is an ex-football player who starts drinking beer at 7:30 am. By the mid-afternoon, he is completely shit-faced.

So we have just teed off on a par 3, after our group in front of us has just cleared the green. We hit quickly and drive up to see what is going on with them (try to obtain their score so far)...

As I drive up to one of their carts, I smell a horrible smell and see a golf towel that is covered in brown draped over the wire rack behind the seats.

The football player is seated in the passenger seat and I can tell he is positively plastered. Beer cans are everywhere....

I get out of my cart and walk over to them and see a stream of brown is running out of his golf shorts and down his legs onto his socks.

He has shit in his pants.

I asked when it happened. About an hour previously.

He had been playing for an hour with shit running down his legs....


That is one of the funniest things I have heard. I can't believe he played like that.
 
OP
warbirdlover

warbirdlover

Ender of all threads
Supporting Member
Jul 9, 2005
19,151
5,601
central Wisconsin
Country
United States United States
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #20
Glad I wasn't riding with that guy in the cart!! Pheewwww!! Gross!!

Another sssmokin and warbirdlover story. The course near sssmokin has been completely redone but years ago had a short 100 yard par 3 up a 45º (or more) incline where you couldn't see the green. To the left of the green was the tee blocks to the next hole which we were on getting ready to tee off after just finishing the par 3. All of a sudden I heard this sound like a coconut getting bopped and turned around to see sssmokin laying flat out cold (for only a few seconds). Someone "down below" hitting to the short par 3 dropped their ball right on his head! The guy coming up the hill saw him laying there and they jumped in their cart and took off towards the clubhouse, obviously fearing a lawsuit so we couldn't even yell at them. sssmokin got up and we played the rest of the afternoon even though he had a huge headache. That hole and situation no longer exists!! :laugh:
 

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
That is one of the funniest things I have heard. I can't believe he played like that.

This is typical behavior for our group...very commonplace.

One year, a guy brought a jar of vaseline to the course early in the morning before we teed off. One poor player went into the clubhouse for a quick breakfast sandwich and to pay up.

In the meantime, the other guy has smeared vaseline all over his grips.

Needless to say, the fellow didn't shoot a good score that day...

Another time, we are out on the course and a player really needs to take a big dump and there are no bathrooms closeby. He is just trashed.

Rather than going into the woods, he drives his cart out in the middle of a fairway and drops trow....he's got a can of Budweiser in his left hand.

We drive our cart up to where he is squatted with his butt cheeks hovering about six inches above the ground.

He is straining, straining hard. (All of the drinking over the past three days has dehydrated him. We are wisely playing in Alabama in the middle of August and it is hot as hellfire).

You know that big vein that comes down the middle of your forehead? It starts sticking way out as he strains to pinch a big loaf.

The entire time he has the Budweiser in his left hand.

Meanwhile, we are literally five feet away from him with our cart facing him directly from the front....we pop open two cold ones and watch the action....laughing our asses off the entire time...

I swear I almost missed the ball on my next shot I was laughing so hard.
 

Lemonhead

Well-Known Member
Nov 1, 2006
86
0
I told these a couple of years ago here....both occurred on one of our traveling trips which we have been doing for 26 years now...

1) We are playing on a course in Central Alabama that is on a lake. The effing geese are all over the course and loiter on the greens quite a bit, leaving their green shit everywhere....

One of my friends has a 150 yard shot to the green and selects a 7 iron. As he sets up, I see an entire gaggle of about 12 geese plodding across the green....

He hits his ball...its up and flying high straight toward the green.

I see one goose in particular who appears to be in the flight path of his ball. Down it comes, smacking the goose in the hindquarters. (Meanwhile, the ball - after caroming off the goose, squirts across the green about 30 feet away.)

The goose lurches forward about three more steps and then falls over on his side.....kind of like watching an old Charlie Chaplin movie.

We are on the ground laughing our heads off. You'd have to see it to believe it. Then we had the controversy over whether the goose was an "Outside Agency"...

2) This group drinks beer heavily while playing. We play a regular stroke play morning round and then after lunch, we play a scramble. (Often have 12 players in three groups).

One guy is an ex-football player who starts drinking beer at 7:30 am. By the mid-afternoon, he is completely shit-faced.

So we have just teed off on a par 3, after our group in front of us has just cleared the green. We hit quickly and drive up to see what is going on with them (try to obtain their score so far)...

As I drive up to one of their carts, I smell a horrible smell and see a golf towel that is covered in brown draped over the wire rack behind the seats.

The football player is seated in the passenger seat and I can tell he is positively plastered. Beer cans are everywhere....

I get out of my cart and walk over to them and see a stream of brown is running out of his golf shorts and down his legs onto his socks.

He has shit in his pants.

I asked when it happened. About an hour previously.

He had been playing for an hour with shit running down his legs....


You know what they say "Fart and people forgive you, Shit in your pants and they will talk about you FOR YEARS!!!!"

Lemonhead
 

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
Another time, we have 12 players in three foursomes. Our group in the last group of the three...

I have hit a great drive in the middle of the fairway and have only about 140 to the middle of the green.

I look up and notice that the pin seems to be very very very close to the left edge of the green.

Oh well...I get out my 8 iron and hit a superb shot...the ball is flying straight toward the pin.

In the meantime, my friends who have just finished the hole ahead are laughing their asses off. Just a huge uproar of laughter as my ball heads straight toward the pin.

As soon as I get in my cart however, they jump in their carts and zoom to the next tee, which is located about 400 yards away through the woods.

I drive up to the green thinking, "Man I am really close on this one...stuck it close....I'm gonna birdie this one".

As I get closer and closer, the pin looks stranger and stranger....kind of tilted over a bit like it wasn't quite put back fully in the hole.

As I get to the green I find out why they are laughing so hard.

The hole was located on the RIGHT edge of the green. After putting out, they had taken the pin and plunged it into the back fringe of the green on the extreme LEFT side...

I had a 50 foot putt remaining to the Actual Hole Location.....


Arrrggghhh!!!
 

SCGolfer

Well-Known Member
Jan 12, 2007
760
0
my contribution......although it is not nearly as funny as someone shitting their pants.....actually its not funny at all but really stupid

at the home course par 5 number 7...the fairway landing area is about 60-70 feet below the teebox and the fairway makes a hard right and back up about 60-70 feet to the green...well if you continue straight without making the turn you run into a cleared area for the power company and a burm was built to keep people of the golf course...

well imagine going down that incline in a "non" governed golf cart....tied to the seat with a rope and flying over that burm

the end result....my buddy hanging upside down, still tied to the cart, that had just flipped end over end three times......it was pretty stupid and pretty hilarious

luckily he didn't die.....and he worked at the course so we weren't kicked out forever nor kicked off the high school golf team

oh and we pushed the cart up in the woods and left it.......it was there for about a week before anyone saw it


jason
 

jc@bg

Style guru
Sep 10, 2004
94
0
Actually, quite funny. Don't get me started on crazy, junky golf course stories, though. I can hold forth on that topic for quite a while. -- JC
 

JEFF4i

She lives!
Supporting Member
Jul 3, 2006
13,545
95
Man Bravo, those are great, and it amazes me you post such great scores with such great company.

Luckily for myself I've never done anything intentionally, or my fault.
 
OP
warbirdlover

warbirdlover

Ender of all threads
Supporting Member
Jul 9, 2005
19,151
5,601
central Wisconsin
Country
United States United States
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #27
Man Bravo, those are great, and it amazes me you post such great scores with such great company.

Luckily for myself I've never done anything intentionally, or my fault.

JEFF4i

???????????????????????????? (Yeah, right!) :laugh:
 

JEFF4i

She lives!
Supporting Member
Jul 3, 2006
13,545
95
I'm pretty quiet out there.

Irony? Sure, plenty.

My first year playing, long par 5 which I have subsequently eagled. 11 on, 1 putt from 35 feet.

Also first year, 3 shots to get out of the sand, one putt.

One of my worst would be, I hit this beautiful drive down the middle off the fairway, caught a yardage marker/sprinkler and it bounced directly into a tree and was sitting in it about 5 feet up.
 

sssmokin

Retired and loving it
Supporting Member
Jul 2, 2006
3,213
793
Central Wisconsin
Country
United States United States
That one rang a bell in my head. On the final hole of the Westwoods course at Waushara CC is this dogleg left on a Par5. If you can hit it decent, you can cut across the dogleg, and take off alot of yardage. There is out of bounds on the left all the way down, and right at the corner of the dogleg is this huge old maple tree. The tree has caught alot of golf balls in the branches above over the years. :laugh:
 

JamesR

Interlocking Now
Sep 25, 2005
206
0
Theres this one kid on my high school team that is always doing something stupid on the golf course.

So we were playing a friendly match against two more of my buddies, and they bet him that he couldnt punch through a sign on the 17th tee with a golf ball. Well, he sets up with a 3 iron, takes a few practice swings, aand hits it, and a second after he hit it, there was a loud PIIINNNGGG then OWWWWW, he had missed and hit a metal bar holding the sign, the ball flew back at him (mabye like 10 feet away) and the ball nailed him in the shin. The ball left a huge black and blue welt.
 

🔥 Latest posts

Top