Golfger from Hell - revisited

[Kilted Arab]

Funny that, I found them on www.golfinginscotland.co.uk. A lot of shady characters there I believe.

Ah...you must have clicked on the link to www.shottalk.com ...!

 

[Farquod]

Hmmm.... I sometimes correspond on the intenet with a guy who owns his own publishing company and he firther corresponds with a "they" (wink, wink) that is looking for porn writers. Ahem... Coincidence?

Hey, it's a skill, and you boys do show some facility for it. You will have to dip into the old thesaurus and pepper your prose with adjectives like "turgid" and "heaving," though.

The great part is you'll be able to use your newfound skills here as well, so everybody wins. I can't wait to read about the sultry mornings on the golf course as your approach leaps toward the sky, only to dive breathlessy toward the hole, pounding into the green once, twice, and a third time, before settling, spent, inches from its one true goal.

 

[bdcrowe]

Hey, it's a skill, and you boys do show some facility for it. You will have to dip into the old thesaurus and pepper your prose with adjectives like "turgid" and "heaving," though.

The great part is you'll be able to use your newfound skills here as well, so everybody wins. I can't wait to read about the sultry mornings on the golf course as your approach leaps toward the sky, only to dive breathlessy toward the hole, pounding into the green once, twice, and a third time, before settling, spent, inches from its one true goal.

You fail. You made it though an entire golf parallel without slipping in a drive, stiff shaft, head, ball, hole, front side, back side, threesome, foursome, or the beer girl.

 

[Farquod]

You fail. You made it though an entire golf parallel without slipping in a drive, stiff shaft, head, ball, hole, front side, back side, threesome, foursome, or the beer girl.

Well, ok, I got 1. I was doing the Romance angle. My bad.

 

[bdcrowe]

Well, ok, I got 1. I was doing the Romance angle. My bad.

LOL. I was thinking the same thing as I wrote that reply. There are subtle differences, I'd say.

 

[IrishGolfer]

Well, ok, I got 1. I was doing the Romance angle. My bad.

Romantic meal for 2 in ireland

4 pack of Guiness and a potatoe to share! LOL

 

[Farquod]

Romantic meal for 2 in ireland

4 pack of Guiness and a potatoe to share! LOL

What, no sausage?

 

[obagain]

The worst guy I have played with so far.

On the first tee he proudly announces he has attended the david lebetter school.
I draw first and hit a nice easy 3 wood 235 down the middle. He spends the next 20 seconds telling me I am I gave up too much by hitting a 3 wood and should always hit a driver, after all, that is what david says.
He steps up with his driver, slices the ball off the face of the earth, laughs and says, that was my mulligan (I guess he gets 20 per round, at least thats how many he used that day).
After the third time he tried to help me with my game, I was going to kill him or find a way to shut him up. I elected to ask him to please stop giving me advice or I might beat him by 30 strokes instead of 20. He was pretty quiet after that.

 

[Bravo]

The worst guy I have played with so far.

On the first tee he proudly announces he has attended the david lebetter school.
I draw first and hit a nice easy 3 wood 235 down the middle. He spends the next 20 seconds telling me I am I gave up too much by hitting a 3 wood and should always hit a driver, after all, that is what david says.
He steps up with his driver, slices the ball off the face of the earth, laughs and says, that was my mulligan (I guess he gets 20 per round, at least thats how many he used that day).
After the third time he tried to help me with my game, I was going to kill him or find a way to shut him up. I elected to ask him to please stop giving me advice or I might beat him by 30 strokes instead of 20. He was pretty quiet after that.

I was on the muni in San Antonio one day and I had a guy like this. It started on the first tee and just kept going and going.

The Energizer Bunny had nothing on this guy.

On the 4th tee I said, "Tell you what, since you really seem to have all the answers here, I'll play you $5 a hole starting right now".

Silence is Golden.

 

[Dave Ireland]

I've just burst me bangers reading KA's and BD's addendum to IG's equities story.....it's great to have this literary talent available to us

 

[Dave Ireland]

Romantic meal for 2 in ireland

4 pack of Guiness and a potatoe to share! LOL

Don't forget the back scuttle knee trembler in the bus shelter and her shouting back at ya to go easy coz yer spilling her chips

 

[caddyshackgolf]

pball, as a junior member you are not expected to know this, but a threadjack containing either urine, pornoghraphic novels, or IGs junk takes precidence over any and all former discussions. Please learn to stay off topic in the future.

Just joking.

I played with that guy 2 weeks ago, and could only smile. He was worse than Tiger Woods. He hit an iron shot from 100 yards that landed 15 feet short of the pin, uphill putt for birdie, and just went OFF on himself. "Hit it next time you P**SY!" He yells at himself. He missed the 15 footer by 3 inches and just lamented that he couldn't sink a putt to save his life. If he wasn't within a foot on his approaches, I put him under suicide watch. It he didn't sink a 20 footer for birdie, the course and ball were conspiring against him.

Oddly enough, if he hit a 200 yard, crooked drive, he beamed.

He started talking to me about halfway through the round and let me know that Olan Mills Photography (G-Damn them!) forced him into early retirement. "Why?" I asked. Becasue he had brain surgery. "Not quite right up here," he says as he points to his right temple.

You don't say.

Hahaha:biglol: