Hole in One

[mddubya]

Made a hole in one yesterday. Well, my ball did anyway. A freind of mine came running up as I finished up yesterday. he was all excited about making his 1st hole in one, then he pulls out the ball he made it with. One of my Srixon Trispeeds, complete with 2 orange dots around the number.

Why couldn't that ball have done that for me instead of him? I'm happy for him, but damn, thats just not right,

 

[mont86]

Go figure...

 

[Pa Jayhawk]

Did you tell him you wanted your ball back?

 

[JEFF4i]

Did you tell him that technically, according to the rules, you get credit?

 

[eclark53520]

I would have punched him in the throat...gloating bastid...lol jk

Good for him, but thats rough.

 

[limpalong]

Why couldn't that ball have done that for me instead of him?

Evidently, you have not yet mastered the ability to communicate in "ballingo"... I have! (Two aces in my life.) Golf balls don't have ears. To get your message across to a ball, you have to speak rather loud!! In fact, real golfers are often caught screaming at the top of their lungs at a golf ball. (Helen Alfredson, for example!) Seems, the balls know what country they are shipped to and adapt to the language of that culture. I've heard people scream at their balls in english, spanish, swedish... And, for some, the golf balls do listen. You might try some of the following, well known phrases...

"Bite you *&^%$... BITE!"

"Come back, you *&^%$ ball... COME BACK!"

"You stupid a** ball! You couldn't see that tree before you hit it??"

"Stay lost, you &^%$# ball! I hope someone with Kmart clubs and a propencity to blade you with a wedge finds you out here in the weeds!"

"Hit a house!! Get down!! You stupid a** ball! You've got no better sense than a Top Flite! I hope you find the bottom of the pond and drown, you *&^%%$!!"

You will notice that certain people seem to communicate more often... and more loudly... with their golf balls in direct relationship to the number of beers they have consumed on the course. Also, you need to learn golf balls become lost conversely to the time they have been in play. i.e. The new Pro V finds the deep crap off the first or second tee. The old scuffed Top Rock you found while looking for your Pro V will finish the round and never find the deep stuff no matter how bad you hit it!

Just get another Srixon out of your bag... put it on your nightstand... and begin teaching it the vocabulary you want it to obey as you have spare time around the house. Of course, it is not advisable to multi-task and try to teach the ball at the same time you might be "enjoying" the company of the opposite sex. There could be some extreme physical damage if you scream "Bite, dang you BITE!" at the wrong time!:ugly25:

 

[julie_m]

Get that ball back and play it. Now it has experience, and it might have developed a taste for victory.

 

[packwood]

Be careful to not protest too much.

Hole in one golfers are expected to buy a round of drinks at the bar. My last hole in one was over $200. Your friend might ask you to share the bill since it was your ball that went into the hole.

Your defense should be that the ball was removed from your bag without your knowledge and not that it was found on the course.

 

[ClairefromClare]

"Bite you *&^%$... BITE!"

"Come back, you *&^%$ ball... COME BACK!"

"You stupid a** ball! You couldn't see that tree before you hit it??"

"Stay lost, you &^%$# ball! I hope someone with Kmart clubs and a propencity to blade you with a wedge finds you out here in the weeds!"

"Hit a house!! Get down!! You stupid a** ball! You've got no better sense than a Top Flite! I hope you find the bottom of the pond and drown, you *&^%%$!!"

The all-time best has to be Dottie Pepper's, "Bite like a police dog!" I've tried to make that one sound spontaneous, but I just can't.

 

[mddubya]

Sitting here literally laughing my ass off. Thanks, ya'll have made me feel better. I've got to admit, I was feeling pretty low when I posted this thread, but after reading ya'lls responses, no way to be mad when you're laughing. :ugly25:

 

[limpalong]

Thanks, ya'll have made me feel better.

That's our job!! Most of us just lie about our golf games anyway. So, we just spread the b.s. around to those who need a little pick-me-up!!!