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How to instruct my gf...?


I don't have a handicap.
Dec 5, 2004
Okay, so about a month ago, my gf decided to take the plunge and we got a set of Wilson Hopes for her...even traded my friend at the golf store a used cell phone (he needed one) for his time to cut the clubs down for her (cut off an inch and a half because she's "diminutive" at best).

We've only managed to get to the range once and she did alright (she's a dance teacher so she has pretty good body awareness). I'm supportive, so we don't have to worry about any of the "anger" that often results in teaching a sig other to do something.

I'm just wondering what you guys think I should start working on with her. She's just in it for a good time for now, so she's not down with paying for lessons or anything, we just want to get her going on the fundamentals so she can strike the ball and enjoy a good walk.

I was thinking grip (she's fine already), alignment (shoulders, hips, feet all square), stance (back straight, arms hanging down, weight on the centre of her feet, knees slightly bent).

As for swing...I'm not sure if I should have her trying to swing hard for now (I've heard a few prominent pros say that they think kids should learn to swing hard first and fix up the problems later) or smooth and slow and work on doing it right from the beginning. I'm worried that if we start slow, any attempts to pick up speed will just cause problems, where if she can get the basics swinging hard, maybe the slowing down will be easier? I'm not sold on either method, just looking for thoughts. As for swing dynamics, I don't even really know where to start...I guess a (fairly) straight left arm, keep it on plane, etc kinda stuff is important'ish.

Anyone have any ideas?

She hit her driver around 100 yards, her 7I around 75 and her SW somewhere close to 50 or so. She actually clocked one 7I that she said "felt like butter" about 110 when she pured it - I was amazed. She's very small, so I know her distances will be reduced, but they're definitely shorter than I expect from her even right now.

Anyhow, thoughts are appreciated.


Rules Nerd
Supporting Member
Mar 9, 2005
Keep the left arm straight. Swing hard. Swing the handle. Keep her right elbow pinned to her side. Rotate, not sway. Turn her hands over at impact (release the club).

A friend of mine had never played, and I told him just those things there. He shot 105 his first time out with no driving range practice. His chipping was brutal.

Swinging "hard" gets the ball out there. Mind you, don't have her swing 100% digging herself into the ground and falling down. About 90% in balance will suffice.

Swing the handle as in, Don't let the clubface get ahead of the handle. Pull the handle through the hitting zone.

Keep your right elbow pinned. When you do this, you can't come over the top. AND you can't "sway" the club back. You basically have to rotate. Keeping your elbow pinned makes sure you are attacking the ball from the inside.

Turn the hands over through the ball. Most beginners will be holding on for dear life trying not to "lose the club" down the fairway or out onto the range. If that is the case, she'll most likely slice even though she's attacking from the inside. Make sure she "lets go".

Hit the back of the ball, at the equator, with a delofted middle of the clubface. Don't just "slide" the club under the ball. HIT the back of the ball with the delofted clubface. If you are "swinging the handle" the club will be naturally delofted as you aren't allowing the clubface to get ahead of the hands.

I hope that will help you out with some EASY things to try with her at the range. That'll get the ball out there, findable, then you'll just have to work on her chipping and putting. She'll be breaking 90 in two weeks. :)

Kilted Arab

Well-Known Member
Apr 30, 2005
one lesson to get the basics in place...give her a present of a single lesson and a decent, easy to understand instruction book. And maybe one of those wighted swing trainers with the moulded grip.

If there's not a birthday coming up, say something soft like.."i'm so pleased we can do this together, and I want to encourage you...so here you go...".

Lesson, book, weight thingy.

Oh, and write something in the book, a soppy inscription. Most chicks like that sort of stuff. And a rose. just one.

She'll be happy, you'll get laid.


Used club guru
Mar 29, 2005
When she learns a new dance move, does she go all out the first time or does she kind of walk thru it till she has a feel for the movement?


Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
Next step is teaching her a repeatable backswing. As long as she turns her shoulders and doesn't overswing, she'll be doing fine.
After that, it's the downswing...
Picking up speed is easy, especially when you're very aware of your body movement.
But kids learn very fast, whereas most adults need more time... So, she can speed things up once she gets her swing going....
And for distance, it is more a question of technique at first.


I don't have a handicap.
Dec 5, 2004
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #6
thanks for the tips guys, good ideas

ob, I just asked her how she teaches it to the kids, she said that if it's something complicated, that she starts with fundamental exercises...ie pirouettes start with balance exercises, knee up exercises, etc

so I guess we'll start small and work our way up


Handicap is to high!!
Mar 23, 2005
Augster said:
Keep the left arm straight.

ive been teaching my mate from the start, that is the BEST tip i have got him to take on board, its only when you video them then play back in slow motion you notice slight errors!

ive got him turning not "swaying" and hes getting good now!

also remember that the follow through must be postive! oh and think pendulum ;)


Fac ut gaudeam
Supporting Member
Sep 1, 2004
Silver said:
She hit her driver around 100 yards, her 7I around 75 and her SW somewhere close to 50 or so. She actually clocked one 7I that she said "felt like butter" about 110 when she pured it - I was amazed.

Kilted Arab
This is similar to your yardages, right? :emot-ange

Seriosly though Silver. Good call on getting her involved.

That "felt like butter" 7i sounds good. As long as you are not overly complicating things and she is enjoying it and giving it a good swish, then I think you are on the right tracks.

If you get too technical, you risk restricting the swing. If she is small she needs to give it a good swish, so I would edge on the side of just loosening up and hitting it hard.

At some point when she gets more into it, I would recommend some lessons. It should still be easy to adapt at that point. Also get her to spend time chipping and putting. If distance is gonna be a problem, then a good short game will help scoring. Good scores mean enjoyment. Enjoyment means more golf - for you, I mean her, right? ;)


Carrollton, TX
Supporting Member
Aug 20, 2005
United States United States
Every student or new golfer is going to be different. Every person learns in different ways. The hard part is finding out which way works best.

My wife is just starting to learn to play, and from past experiences, I am letting a local pro have the pleasure of teaching her the game. My wife tends to have high expectations of herself and becomes easily discouraged when she can not perform at a high level right away and any comment or suggestion from me no matter how positive is not taken well. I bought her a series of lessons and an Odyssey 2-ball blade for her birthday last month and I am hoping that it all works out.

One piece of advise that I read a long time ago suggested taking someone new to the game and only letting them on the putting green and chipping green for the 1st year. While that is a little extreme, it does make some sense. Learn the scoring part of the game first. Chips and pitches are just short versions of the full swing, and when they advance to the full swing there is a foundation already built in. If they learn the short game first, when they start to play with the full swing they will have to skills to recover around the green and score well. I have brought the wife to the putting green to practice a few times, and so far she seems to enjoy it and putt pretty well.

I am hoping that my wife will learn to enjoy the game as much as I do so that we can play together for many years to come.

Jeff Gallo

Swing Guru
Aug 26, 2004
hey, if shes an athelete just let her go with it, once shes learned a good grip she'll be fine. don't knock yourself out TEACHING a golfswing. an athelete already has a golfswing. And trying to load everything into her head at once could be a problem, of course being a dancer im sure she's capable of it, all the dancer's I've worked with pick it up really fast.

I suggest since she already has a good grip, just make sure she takes an athletic approach to it. Make sure she has a good balanced golf posture and have her hit half swings just with the club coming up to her waist... that won't be too complicated for you to watch for impending trouble (make sure the toe of the club is pointed up at the top of this half swing, many women have a tendency to close the club) AND it will make it much easier for her to learn the proper swing path. For an athlete swing path is all that has to be learned, she will be able to find that path in a full swing once shes learned it.

Going about it this way, you'll find she'll have a much easier time with it because you're dealing with one issue at a time, remember all those hundreds of swing keys that are listed in this thread and as she's practicing if you see something help her with it... just dont try to give her too much of a blue print, because for most people trying to build a golfswing from a blue print is like trying to build a house, and then nail it together, its gonna fall apart quite a few times before youre done.

hope this helps. Good luck and don't hesitate to ask anything more about teaching methods I'd love to help you out!


Well-Known Member
Aug 24, 2005
You should tell her "Honey I just heard that golf courses are not allowing anymore women, sorry but you can't play!"...that's the best tip for YOU! Just kidding of course, when I started golfing with my wife, I told her keep left arm straight, keep your eye on the ball, keep head down and don't try to swing so hard, just get good contact with half swings. Above all, just to have fun. If you put to much pressure on her, you'll be sleeping on the couch!


Shark skin shoes
Staff member
Aug 30, 2004
Canada Canada
I heavily agree in getting her involved.

I highly recommend having someone that isn't sharing the same bed with her teach her. Which eliminates you, the UPS guy and most of North Vancouver, from what I hear.... :D

Seriously, this isn't a shot against you or your GF, but more often than not, any frustration in the game usually gets directed towards the person teaching. And, your GF has a way of "listening to you" and "listening....to you". She hears what you say, but her interpretation of what your saying will be different than if it came from a thrid party.

Harvey Penick once said that that he would never try to teach his wife to golf as long as he lived. And he never did. And he's one of the best teachers to ever show another how to play the game.

I've played golf with my GF in the past, and been to the range. But, i've never offered advice to her unless she's asked for something specific. "How come the ball goes off to the right?"....."Well, there are a number of things that could be the reason.....but for now, try and get the clubhead catching up with your hands. That should do the trick."

I guess what I'm trying to say is tread lightly. Golf is such a frustrating sport for those that are naturals let alone those that struggle.

And sometimes that struggle can bite you in the ass. Luckily, I have no experience with that, but in all my readings, more often than not it's recommended to get a 3rd party involved.

And I don't mean your hot neighbour. ;)



The golfer fka ST Champ
Aug 31, 2004
My wife has no interest in golf, none, zero. But, if she ever decided she wanted to learn I'd find someone else to teach her.

There are already plenty of things about me that iritates her, so there's no need to add to the list.


Fac ut gaudeam
Supporting Member
Sep 1, 2004
My wife is probably the most natural golfer I have ever met. She plays probably 3-4 times per year and has such a simple swing, Just stands up and whacks it. Straight back, straight through. She had some lessons from a pro when she first took it up and I reckon this really set down the fundamentals. She can hit her driver 220+, a 6 iron 140-150 yards.

We played nine holes on the championship course last week and she parred 4 of them. OK, so she was a bit off on the other holes, but man! And she plays like she could care less! To me it's slightly less important than life itself; to her she is more worried about what we are having for dinner or what is on TV that night. Imagine my frustration with that? Raw talent being underused. But as long as she enjoys it, I'm happy.

Any advice I try and impart is usually met with "that look"!

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