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I think this is Golf related, since....

wirehair

Life's too short to drink cheap wine.
Apr 29, 2005
2,489
3
I was reading this board & thinking about the new Snotty Cameron I bought last week, when "She Who Must be Obeyed" walked in:


SWMBO: Are you going to work with me on the backyard Saturday, or play golf?

Me: I don’t have any plans yet. [Continuing to read post]

SWMBO: We’re having a wedding shower here on the 15th.

Me: I know, It’s for Aprille. (niece-in law) [Continuing to read post]

SWMBO: You played all day last Saturday.

Me: I know [Looks up from Computer & senses something happening here]

SWMBO: You were sick Sunday & didn’t work in the back.

Me: That’s probably why I played so bad Saturday, I was coming down with this cold.

SWMBO: After you told me you would plant flowers.

Me: I know

SWMBO: I want you to go with me & pick out plants.

Me: OK, that’ll be fine.

SWMBO: And, I think you should help me!

Me: OK, no problem.

SWMBO: All day.

Me: I guess I could play Sunday.

SWMBO: That’s MOTHERS DAY!

Me: What do you want to do?

SWMBO: Do I have to make plans? [short exposition on my faults as far as planning social events]

Me: Ok, I’ll plan something. [any hope of 18 holes is drifting out the widow, like a puff of smoke]

SWMBO: Rebecca (daughter) and I are gonna lay out by the pool all day, if the weather’s nice.

Me: Then if the weather’s nice I can play? [hope springs eternal]

SWMBO: Would you leave me on Mother’s day?

Me: I guess you’re telling me I can’t play golf this weekend.

SWMBO: I wouldn’t tell you that, but you have other responsibilities [follows is a short exposition on responsibilities]

Me: Uh-huh [click – the sound of brain switching off]

SWMBO: [A longer exposition on being irresponsible]

Me: Uh-huh. [glazed look in my eye]

SWMBO: [an exposition about being responsible]

Me: So you don’t want me to play golf this weekend?

SWMBO: You have to make your own decisions [leaves the room].

SWMBO (Disgusted voice from another room): Are you going to order flowers for your Mom, or do I have to do that too?

Me: [Turns off computer & goes to see about being married, or happily married]



I'm not sure what I'll do, but I’m pretty sure that I’m not gonna work on the Snotty this weekend.:faintthud
 

bdcrowe

ST Homeland Security
Aug 30, 2004
2,207
276
There are responsibilities, and there are priorities. You should get your priorities in order, pal. Those priorities would be at least 9 holes Saturday, work in the yard afterward, and then spend Mothers Day expounding on Saturday's round.
 

Quentin

How U Doin'?
Aug 27, 2004
199
0
LOL. Sounds just about how my days go. Although, after 12 years of wedded bliss, I won't even attempt to golf on Mother's Day anymore.

~QQ
 

Loop

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
1,418
3
lmao!
Nice story Wirehair.
When you mow the lawn, mow it really short. To check it if your lawn is short, use Snotty to see if the ball rolls. Since you're a responsible and concienscious person, you'd want that lawn to have at least 10 on the stimpmeter.
 

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
Great job Wirehair...loved it...

Make an investment in Your Golf Future this weekend. Work your ass off all day long on Saturday. Late in the afternoon, hit Costco for 2 dozen red roses for $12.99.

Put these in the kitchen.

Fawn over your wife all day long on Sunday. Serve her breakfast in bed.

Then, remimder her of it merciliessly every Saturday until September as you are hitting the links...
 

longiron

Well-Known Member
May 2, 2005
332
1
Wirehair i dont know how you got into my house and used the recorder but damnit stay out.
 

IrishGolfer

Fac ut gaudeam
Supporting Member
Sep 1, 2004
6,541
4,976
Wirehead

Sales of that record are doing well here in Ireland. It's the Dog House no matter what way you turn here. Playing golf or thinking about playing golf. At least with the latter you still get your bowl of Pedigree Chum.

I particularly liked the line:

"Looks up from Computer & senses something happening here"

;)
Remember, if you can't run with the Big Dogs, stay on the Porch.
 

VtDivot

SLIGHTERED
Supporting Member
Apr 16, 2005
7,154
32
roses... costco... good idea.


So if we can't tourney it this weekend do we enter friday's score or do we use a score from next week?
 

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
VtDivot said:
roses... costco... good idea.


So if we can't tourney it this weekend do we enter friday's score or do we use a score from next week?

Ahhh...the classic questions.

After being Czar of The Mouthwedge for 8 years (and hearing dozens of legitimate questions like this one) - this is why I railroaded crowe into the US Captaincy.

Captain, oh Captain Crowe - report in!!
 

DaveE

The golfer fka ST Champ
Aug 31, 2004
3,986
3
VtDivot said:
So if we can't tourney it this weekend do we enter friday's score or do we use a score from next week?

This will be decided by bd, but we had originally said that it would be Saturday's round or the round played closet to Saturday.
 

bdcrowe

ST Homeland Security
Aug 30, 2004
2,207
276
Bravo said:
Ahhh...the classic questions.

After being Czar of The Mouthwedge for 8 years (and hearing dozens of legitimate questions like this one) - this is why I railroaded crowe into the US Captaincy.

Captain, oh Captain Crowe - report in!!
Yes?

Ahem...

Is this thing on?

The round posted will be Saturday's round, or the round closest to Saturday that week, with Sunday being a new week. So, progresion goes backwards in the week-- Sat, Fri, Thur, Wed, et al... Again, it MUST be Sat or closest to, you can't just pick your best round and go with it. This is acceptable Roc, your highness? Is this a mutually agreed upon mandate by the crowned czars of this multinational gig?
 

Bravo

Well-Known Member
Aug 27, 2004
5,822
15
bdcrowe said:
Yes?

Ahem...

Is this thing on?

The round posted will be Saturday's round, or the round closest to Saturday that week, with Sunday being a new week. So, progresion goes backwards in the week-- Sat, Fri, Thur, Wed, et al... Again, it MUST be Sat or closest to, you can't just pick your best round and go with it. This is acceptable Roc, your highness? Is this a mutually agreed upon mandate by the crowned czars of this multinational gig?

bd (sir):

I am serious here...can we start the new week on Monday? We are going to have many players who will play on Sunday...this would conclude that weekend's competition...then the scores are put in and the program determines the relative position of the two teams.

We then have all week to cuss it and discuss it and look forward to the following weekend's play. I think I am not out of bounds to estimate that 90% of our play will occur on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

If a player shoots a great score on a Sunday, it does not affect the most current team standings which will be discussed throughout the week.

For maximum entertainment value - I suggest we post the Latest Round in the week with the Week ending on Sunday night...
 

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