I think you're the father of one of my kids

[MCDavis]

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

 

[eclark53520]

Lmao...anybody listen to bob and tom?

Now THATS an unsmooth moment...

 

[ClairefromClare]

Remind me I have other supermarket jokes. No time at the moment, except a true one about a girlfriend who ran into her minister at the grocery store when her shopping cart contained only two items: a sixpack and a box of condoms. :shocked:

 

[DouginGA]

Remind me I have other supermarket jokes. No time at the moment, except a true one about a girlfriend who ran into her minister at the grocery store when her shopping cart contained only two items: a sixpack and a box of condoms. :shocked:

tease

 

[JEFF4i]

:biglol:

Six pack eh?

 

[ClairefromClare]

tease

You're not the first to say that.

Okay, Catholic fellow and Jewish fellow at the office, discussing their differering religious observances, and specfically Yom Kippur versus Lent. You know--fasting and atoning and such. The Catholic fellow explains the whole 40 days thing, and the Jewish fellow asks what he gave up this year.

The Catholic fellow replied, "My wife and I decided to make the surpreme sacrifice this year--we decided to give up sex for Lent."

The Jewish fellow asked, "Oh?! And how did that go?"

The Catholic fellow explained, "Well, for the first week, we felt really holy and virtuous. The second week was a lot harder. And by the third week, well to tell you the truth, we didn't make it. One morning my wife bent over to pick up a grapefruit that had fallen on the floor, and that was it. Right there and then."

The Jewish fellow looked horrified. "Wow--what happens after that? Are you allowed back in church?"

The Catholic fellow explained, "Oh, there's no problem going back to church. But I don't think we'll be returning to that Safeway anytime soon."