Davebud
Crackhead Zebra
- Oct 31, 2005
- 1,723
- 0
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as
chaplains to the students of the University of Montana.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to
talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a
bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an
experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear,
preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and
has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the
woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with
me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy
water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb.
The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and
brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we
don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I
began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear
wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began
to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another
until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his
hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks
up and says, "Looking back on it, I guess circumcision may not have
been the best way to start."
chaplains to the students of the University of Montana.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to
talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a
bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an
experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear,
preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and
has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the
woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with
me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy
water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb.
The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm
and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and
brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we
don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I
began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear
wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began
to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another
until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his
hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks
up and says, "Looking back on it, I guess circumcision may not have
been the best way to start."