If anyone cares....

[Rockford35]

The shirt I'm wearing is waaay too tight.

This thread wasn't going to be golf related, but it brought a story to my mind.


One time i was working at an insurance office for a summer. It payed well, and the girls that worked there were spectacular. Even cuter than Buddha.

Anyways, one afternoon it was really nice, and I just had to get to the range. I was wearing more office style attire, so i ripped home and got changed into some shorts and headed out.

Now, i must tell you, that i was in quite the rush, and it was seriously hot out (the temperature will come into play later). I got to the range and it wasn't too busy. Perfect. I paid for my bucket and went out to stretch out.

After hitting a few warm-up shots, another guy and his GF came to the range. She sat down to watch this dolt slash balls like slices were saving his life. Anyways, i had my sunglasses on and was checking her out from afar. She "seemed" to be checking me out as well. She had a great face and body, and she seemed to smile everytime i would gather another ball to the tee to skillfully laser it into the field.

I did this for at least 10 more minutes, where i then needed to adjust my glove. I leaned the grip of my club against my crotch, or where i thought my crotch would be, only to find that my fly was 100% open. Right down to the last tooth on the zipper. Nice. And, to make matters worse, i was wearing boxers that had no buttons or securing item to hold back the goods.

Yes, i was flailing in the wind. Out there and loving every minute of it.

Well, needless to say, i felt awesome. Not only was this girl checking out my junk, she was laughing. Personally, i don't think it should be laughed at, but hey, what do I know....

Aw, that was horrible. I came home completely obliterated of any sense of self esteem and told my GF. She laughed harder than she ever has. How didn't I notice the fact that I was not zipped? I must be mental, i swear.

I showed her tho. I spent to rest of the evening walking around with "it" hanging out of my pants. Oh ya, got her good....

R35

 

[Slingblade61]

Did you marry her?

 

[grazo]

Rock

that is without doubt one of the funniest stories I have ever heard

although I am a bit worried about how you didn't notice... you must have really been in the zone.

:smilie_tm

 

[Rockford35]

I didn't marry her, although maybe i should have. Nah....

Ya, why a guy wouldn't notice his wang hangin' out of his pants is beyond me. If I had even an inkling of an idea how i didn't notice, you'd be the first to know.

But really, it provided me with a great story to share with everyone.

"I went to the driving range and this girl was checking out my big stick".

Classy!

R35

 

[Slingblade61]

I am thinking if you didn't notice it was because of a serious lack of surface are for wind detection?

 

[Bravo]

One summer, I went to visit my cousin Phil in Burlington Vermont. Summer of 1976....Olympic games going on 100 miles away in Montreal.

I got a job at KMart working in Paint and Pets...

Anyway, I am a 21 year old crazy man and I bunk in with two Assistant Managers at their house - overlooking beautiful Lake Champlain and the Adirondack Mountains of New York State to the west.

Well we were a hard drinking lot and one Friday night we had hit it hard from the time we got off work.

As you know Rock, I liked the Canadian beers because they knock the crap out of you compared to the watered down American ones. Would drink LaBatt and Molson.

Well at about midnight - one of the guy's girlfriends looks over at me (we are in the Kitchen standing around).

She says, "Do you know that your balls are hanging out of your shorts?"

I am wearing the classic cut off blue jeans that have been frayed by playing football in Alabama and softball in Vermont all year.

I look down and there they are in all their glory shining out down below.

Needless to say, I went straight to the Fridge for another Labatt Blue....Big grin on the face.

I loved the women there. Not the best looking mind you - but mine were blue by the end of the summer...

 

[Rockford35]

I am thinking if you didn't notice it was because of a serious lack of surface are for wind detection?

Sling,

Let's just say i bought the Great Big Bertha II for the headcover, not the club. (I'm just kidding. Only losers rant or brag about that kind of garbage.)


Nice story Bravo. I've seen that done myself, but there were no girls to point it out. That takes the cake. You still have those jeans, don't you....


The best line out of that story was "I got a job at KMart working in Paint and Pets...".

Paint and Pets. Together at last. Lol.

R35

 

[Bravo]

Every Sunday morning, we had a Retail Softball League.

It included KMart, Safeway (groceries) and a variety of other stores.

We played a Doubleheader every Sunday morning at UVM Field (University of Vermont).

So one Saturday night, we had a Ton of Fun in which there was a big Sleepover after a party. My car was broken down and was in the shop.

So I wake up with Karen at about 10:30 am. Gotta get over to UVM by 11:00 to start the opening game. I start thinking about transportation since I am about three miles away with only my legs.

Suddenly she says, "My mom is on the way over to pick us up!"

I am thinking....really.

Then there is a beep, meep out front and Mrs. Johnson is out there in here Toyota.

Yikees!!

We climb in the car and Karen introduces me to her mother.

Wow what a summer.

 

[Rockford35]

Who's Karen Johnson?

I'm assuming your better half. If it isn't, that post sucked....lol.

One time a roommate of mine while i was in university was one of these guys that played the worst pranks on people. You never dared pass out around him cuz he was a jerk. Anyways, one night he totally tied one on and passed right out in our living room. He was beyond help. We decided, in our drunken stooper, to seek our revenge. I came up with a great idea where we duct taped beer boxes to both his hands at the wrists. That way, it would feel to him as tho his hands were free. After both hands were done, we used a peice of grass to tickle his nose.

I'll never forget him punching himself in the face twice in a row with beer boxes strapped to his hands. A right, then a left. Then the endless struggle to get them off, all after being about 16-18 beers into the evening.

Best revenge ever.

R35

 

[Bravo]

well no Karen is not my wife so you may assess the post using whatever criteria you use...It was just a different culture in VT compared to what I was accustomed to. Casual girlfriend whose Mom picks you up for a ride after a night of ...er. you know.

With our college group, you'd better not get too high and mighty and then pass out to the point of No Self Defense.

One fellow woke up covered in molasses, mustard, ketchup and coffee grinds. And Honey....

At least I had the shower to help me out while still conscious.

 

[Rockford35]

I wasn't trying to be harsh about your thread Bravo, no hard feelings.

I just assumed some others here knew of "Karen" as your wife, and I had just missed something.

What is it with guys (mostly) that makes them want to do stuff like that to unsuspecting people? And why do we all do it?

It is fun tho.

R35

 

[Bravo]

I wasn't trying to be harsh about your thread Bravo, no hard feelings.

I just assumed some others here knew of "Karen" as your wife, and I had just missed something.

What is it with guys (mostly) that makes them want to do stuff like that to unsuspecting people? And why do we all do it?

It is fun tho.

R35

No, it was all part of the storytelling. While I DO remember her first name as Karen, I honestly haven't a clue about her last name. This happened 28 years ago.

I was introduced to the woman though. Just a very interesting circumstance at the time...

 

[bdcrowe]

Oh, the glory of the glory days... While I would absolutely never trade away the life I have with my beautiful wife and kids, it's nice to think of the bachelor days: even the homeliest of musicians can get laid at will.

A case of beer, two strippers, and a feeling of euphoria.

Sometimes the wife looks at me and asks "What are you smiling about?"

"Oh, just how much I love you..."

 

[DaveE]

Seems like most of the stuff we did in college in the 70s would either get you arrested or sued today. We use to kidnap people (from our fraternity) for no reason at all and drop them off with enough money to make a single phone call. There were a couple of times people were blind folded and then driven as far as fifty miles away and left to figure it out. In all fairness we usually left them with a six pack as well.

Times were so different then. The last guy I helped kidnap actually beat us back to the house. The first car that came by stopped and helped him. After he explained his situation they busted it back to our house just so he could be there laughing at us when we got back. :repuke:

 

[Bravo]

Seems like most of the stuff we did in college in the 70s would either get you arrested or sued today. We use to kidnap people (from our fraternity) for no reason at all and drop them off with enough money to make a single phone call. There were a couple of times people were blind folded and then driven as far as fifty miles away and left to figure it out. In all fairness we usually left them with a six pack as well.

Times were so different then. The last guy I helped kidnap actually beat us back to the house. The first car that came by stopped and helped him. After he explained his situation they busted it back to our house just so he could be there laughing at us when we got back. :repuke:

I couldn't agree more. We lived in a different time then. The Vietnam War made everything crazy...

It's interesting when you see college kids now. They look at you and think you are an old codger who never partied.

If they only knew that the stuff we did back then makes today seem tame...