Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Iowa.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Iowa.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Iowa.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Iowa.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Iowa.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of DES MOINES for the weekend, you live in Iowa.
If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in Iowa.
If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Iowa.
If you have gone from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Iowa.
If you can drive 70 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Iowa.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Iowa.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Iowa.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Iowa.
If the I-80 speed limit is 70 mph -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Iowa.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Iowa.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Iowa.
If you have more hours on your lawn mower, and snow blower than miles on your car, you live in Iowa.
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Iowa.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Iowa.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Iowa.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Iowa.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Iowa.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of DES MOINES for the weekend, you live in Iowa.
If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in Iowa.
If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in Iowa.
If you have gone from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Iowa.
If you can drive 70 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Iowa.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in Iowa.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Iowa.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Iowa.
If the I-80 speed limit is 70 mph -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in Iowa.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Iowa.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Iowa.
If you have more hours on your lawn mower, and snow blower than miles on your car, you live in Iowa.
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Iowa.
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