As many of you know, I'm on vacation. And, I'm looking for a Titanium watch. And, I'm a joker.
This morning I decided to check out one of the smaller malls here in town in search for the elusive timepiece that will forever grace my lovely wrist. I walked into the mall expecting to go in looking for a watch and come out with a futon or a windmill. That's just how I work.
On my drive to the mall, I was given the finger by someone that cut me off. Yes, today will be a beautiful day. Upon arriving at the mall, i decided not to go to the food court first as it was only 10:15, too early for pizza. Yes, i said that out loud. I thought i'd check the jewlers, see what they had for overpriced bling.
I arrived at the jewlers only to find the selection vert sparse when it came to Titanium and not 1000 dollars. But one caught my eye. I just needed to see this complete waste of money.
I hear over my shoulder, "Can I help you?"
I turn to see this extremely attractive girl, maybe 22-24 years old and bursting out of her extremely attractive blouse. Blonde, maybe 5'9" and extremely approachable.
I muster out "Ye-yes-please.....(clear throat).....please." (Oh ya, I am so smooth.)
She asks me 'who are you shopping for today?'and I respond "Myself, I just need a watch".
She stands next to me and asks if she has anything I would like to look at. I smiled as my gutter mind went into a frenzy like a monkey on mushrooms. I said there "were a couple that I would like to see"......I'm totally digging myself a hole here.
She walks around the counter to unlock the case and takes out two nice watches, one of which was the one I wanted. It carried the weight i liked, perfect face and the price was outstanding. I started asking the usual questions about warranty, crystal, features ect. But then that goddamned monkey came back. "Are there any other colours available? I ask, sheepishly? She replies" I'm not 100% sure, let me check the book."
You mean your going to get the book out, lean on the counter and look through it for 5 minutes looking for every colour option for every Ti watch in the book, while I doggedly stare down your shirt at your exquisite chest?? You minx! But I never complained....probably because I would have drooled all over myself...
After some short chit chat, I'm set on buying this watch. She gives me the whole 9 yards about layaway and how if i wanted another colour I'd ave to pay for half up front, yadda, yadda....
I say to her "I'm going to have to think about it. I really like the blue, however, the silver face just has me staring." (I keep thinking to myself "God, i can't say more than two sentences here without buring myself time after time...")
Then the hammer comes down.
She says "I'm going on my break, would you like to come for a coffee and we can talk about things?"
I'm at a loss. A real loss. Usually I can handle myself in a decent manner, no spitting or choking, but she had me stunned. Like, more than I ever would have expected.
Before I could think, I accepted. I mean, I had zero intentions of taking this farther than that, as I am happy with my current better half, but then it happened.
Then the goddamned monkey came back.
(Maybe, if I go for coffee, sweet talk this girl, I can get a discount. Plus, I can stare at her boobs some more (I'm being brutally honest here))
We sit down in the food court, she tells me her name and how she has recognized me from being in the mall before. Needless to say, anyone that has seen the gallery knows that I am not attractive. Not at all. She starts asking me about what i do, what I like to do for fun, small chit chat. I answer everything politely, but I'm careful not to give away the fact that I am not single. (Gotta get that watch for cheap. Gotta get that watch for cheap. Gotta...) She seems like a very outgoing girl, and very down to earth. Did I mention that she was oustandingly hot? She's honestly the type of girl that i'm interested in, the type that make me go "hmm". And she's extremely attractive.
After about 20 minutes of idle chat, she gives me her phone number. Me. The gargoyle. I keep looking around for her friends who have a bet going on if she can convince me that she's into me, and then I look like the fool. They weren't around, or they were very good at hiding.
I walked her back to the store and take a look at the watch one last time, hoping she'd lean in and say "If you want, i can buy this at store discount and get you a really good deal if you want to go out some night this week."
Hell, i'd go out with her for coffee to save 40% on 500 bucks. Plus, she's hot! Like, outstanding hot!
We chat a bit more, and she starts to get touchy, putting her hand on my arm, touching my hands as I fondle the watch...I'm getting uncomfortable here....this is not good....an knowing my luck, this is when my parents-in-law-to-be walk up, right? It didn't happen, but I was still fearing the reaper.
I give the opportunity for the event to happen, and it doesn't. I give her my thanks for all her help, but I never did mention the number she gave me, I think that's code for guys as an "out" for situations like that. (Ya, cuz hot girls always give me their numbers and I know all about it. Right.)
I depart from the store and walk back to my car, completely forgetting all the other errands I wanted to do in the mall. It's raining outside and everything is in slow mo like a John Woo film.
Why can't this stuff happen when you're single? Cripes.
Anyways, I go outside to find someone's car on fire in the parking lot. My car is blocked in by a fire truck, although there's no threat to my car at all. I was kinda hoping they'd wash it down as it's dirty as all hell.
After convincing a fire dude to move the truck, I went to another mall to finally finish running my errands. I kept thinking about this girl, and why she was interested in me. Doesn't make sense. At all.
Anyways, that's my story. It won't go any farther than this morning, I can assure you. It's just funny how stuff works. 2 years ago, I would have had to have paid 100 bucks to have a girl like that talk to me.
And I still need a watch. Cripes.
R35
This morning I decided to check out one of the smaller malls here in town in search for the elusive timepiece that will forever grace my lovely wrist. I walked into the mall expecting to go in looking for a watch and come out with a futon or a windmill. That's just how I work.
On my drive to the mall, I was given the finger by someone that cut me off. Yes, today will be a beautiful day. Upon arriving at the mall, i decided not to go to the food court first as it was only 10:15, too early for pizza. Yes, i said that out loud. I thought i'd check the jewlers, see what they had for overpriced bling.
I arrived at the jewlers only to find the selection vert sparse when it came to Titanium and not 1000 dollars. But one caught my eye. I just needed to see this complete waste of money.
I hear over my shoulder, "Can I help you?"
I turn to see this extremely attractive girl, maybe 22-24 years old and bursting out of her extremely attractive blouse. Blonde, maybe 5'9" and extremely approachable.
I muster out "Ye-yes-please.....(clear throat).....please." (Oh ya, I am so smooth.)
She asks me 'who are you shopping for today?'and I respond "Myself, I just need a watch".
She stands next to me and asks if she has anything I would like to look at. I smiled as my gutter mind went into a frenzy like a monkey on mushrooms. I said there "were a couple that I would like to see"......I'm totally digging myself a hole here.
She walks around the counter to unlock the case and takes out two nice watches, one of which was the one I wanted. It carried the weight i liked, perfect face and the price was outstanding. I started asking the usual questions about warranty, crystal, features ect. But then that goddamned monkey came back. "Are there any other colours available? I ask, sheepishly? She replies" I'm not 100% sure, let me check the book."
You mean your going to get the book out, lean on the counter and look through it for 5 minutes looking for every colour option for every Ti watch in the book, while I doggedly stare down your shirt at your exquisite chest?? You minx! But I never complained....probably because I would have drooled all over myself...
After some short chit chat, I'm set on buying this watch. She gives me the whole 9 yards about layaway and how if i wanted another colour I'd ave to pay for half up front, yadda, yadda....
I say to her "I'm going to have to think about it. I really like the blue, however, the silver face just has me staring." (I keep thinking to myself "God, i can't say more than two sentences here without buring myself time after time...")
Then the hammer comes down.
She says "I'm going on my break, would you like to come for a coffee and we can talk about things?"
I'm at a loss. A real loss. Usually I can handle myself in a decent manner, no spitting or choking, but she had me stunned. Like, more than I ever would have expected.
Before I could think, I accepted. I mean, I had zero intentions of taking this farther than that, as I am happy with my current better half, but then it happened.
Then the goddamned monkey came back.
(Maybe, if I go for coffee, sweet talk this girl, I can get a discount. Plus, I can stare at her boobs some more (I'm being brutally honest here))
We sit down in the food court, she tells me her name and how she has recognized me from being in the mall before. Needless to say, anyone that has seen the gallery knows that I am not attractive. Not at all. She starts asking me about what i do, what I like to do for fun, small chit chat. I answer everything politely, but I'm careful not to give away the fact that I am not single. (Gotta get that watch for cheap. Gotta get that watch for cheap. Gotta...) She seems like a very outgoing girl, and very down to earth. Did I mention that she was oustandingly hot? She's honestly the type of girl that i'm interested in, the type that make me go "hmm". And she's extremely attractive.
After about 20 minutes of idle chat, she gives me her phone number. Me. The gargoyle. I keep looking around for her friends who have a bet going on if she can convince me that she's into me, and then I look like the fool. They weren't around, or they were very good at hiding.
I walked her back to the store and take a look at the watch one last time, hoping she'd lean in and say "If you want, i can buy this at store discount and get you a really good deal if you want to go out some night this week."
Hell, i'd go out with her for coffee to save 40% on 500 bucks. Plus, she's hot! Like, outstanding hot!
We chat a bit more, and she starts to get touchy, putting her hand on my arm, touching my hands as I fondle the watch...I'm getting uncomfortable here....this is not good....an knowing my luck, this is when my parents-in-law-to-be walk up, right? It didn't happen, but I was still fearing the reaper.
I give the opportunity for the event to happen, and it doesn't. I give her my thanks for all her help, but I never did mention the number she gave me, I think that's code for guys as an "out" for situations like that. (Ya, cuz hot girls always give me their numbers and I know all about it. Right.)
I depart from the store and walk back to my car, completely forgetting all the other errands I wanted to do in the mall. It's raining outside and everything is in slow mo like a John Woo film.
Why can't this stuff happen when you're single? Cripes.
Anyways, I go outside to find someone's car on fire in the parking lot. My car is blocked in by a fire truck, although there's no threat to my car at all. I was kinda hoping they'd wash it down as it's dirty as all hell.
After convincing a fire dude to move the truck, I went to another mall to finally finish running my errands. I kept thinking about this girl, and why she was interested in me. Doesn't make sense. At all.
Anyways, that's my story. It won't go any farther than this morning, I can assure you. It's just funny how stuff works. 2 years ago, I would have had to have paid 100 bucks to have a girl like that talk to me.
And I still need a watch. Cripes.
R35