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My most sincere and humblest of apologies....

limpalong

Mental Ward Escapee
Supporting Member
Oct 18, 2006
13,001
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I forgot!
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... to any and all cat species throughout the world for the condescending things I may have uttered in the 'Cats are a**holes' thread. Your representatives exacted a quick and painful revenge. I am awed at how quickly you were able to conspire to inflict pain on we who disparage your compatriots with whom we have had experience.

The plan was hatched and carried out to perfection. About 2:30 a.m., a couple of your co-conspirators hosted a sex party... a real scream your lungs out orgy... in our backyard. Our 70 pound black-lab generally sleeps through the night... in her own bed. She goes out about 9 p.m. and is difficult to get to wake up at 7 a.m. For us old folk, that sleeping schedule is an unexpected, but appreciated blessing.
When your chosen agents began their high-pitched wailing/screaming as the joys/pain of lovemaking reached a crescendo, the lab woke and wanted to break up the party. She was intent on getting to the backyard by any and all means possible... ASAP!! When the doors she tried to go through were closed, she headed to the windows. Thank goodness, none of those were open enough for her to exit via torn out screens. Once egress to the exterior was denied, a 70 pound ball of dynamite flew through the air and landed in our bed with us... barking as loud as she could. We both will probably have bruises and aches for days from the pummeling received at the hands of a dog being restrained from chasing/tearing the hide off mating cats!!!!

Again, Cat Kingdom, please accept my apology. In return, we simply request no more trysts in our backyard so our 70 pound bundle of sinew and muscle does not make our life totally unbearable for a period of about 30 minutes... in the middle of the night. As expected, she returned to sleep. As we tried to quiet our rapidly beating hearts, the silence was only unbroken by her snoring. I will have nightmares of your species as I take my afternoon nap today!!!!! Payback is H*ll!!!!!!
 

PaPaD

Geezer, recovering club ho.
Supporting Member
Jan 5, 2015
8,668
10,365
Fredericksburg VA & Hernando FLA
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United States United States
how-to-tell-if-your-cat-is-plotting-to-kill-you.jpg
 

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