SilverUberXeno
El Tigre Blanco
- Jul 26, 2005
- 4,620
- 26
SPOILERS TO FOLLOW
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(and I don't mean the movie, though that will spoil your day)
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Okay Zaphy, as I said in the Creationism thread, I really didn't like this movie. I feel like it was a letdown in a plethora of ways. So I'll begin with what I LIKED, since that won't take long. I'm also going to compare Watchmen to 2 other movies that are similar in their relative respects, and which both do a VASTLY better job of conveying that respect.
LIKES:
1.) Fight scenes. These were neat.
2.) Rorschach. The only truly moral character in the entire movie.
That was fast.
DISLIKES:
1.) The fact that these random people inexplicably were super-human was a huge plot-chasm for me. There was no hint as to what made these characters so much stronger or faster than Joe Blow. Here, I'd like to cite V for Vendetta and Batman Begins/The Dark Knight. In both V and BB/TDK, there is an explanation as to WHY these fellows became so powerful. The only character with any ATTEMPT at explanation is Dr. Manhatten, and that's so far fetched it's beyond silly. Most of the X-Men have more believable powers than this guy. But at least an ATTEMPT was made. I would be willing to look over the sillyness of Dr. M's origin if everyone had one, but since it's their only attempt at a cause, it definitely does NOT do the job.
2.) Dr. Manhatten was weird. Just... weird. Really did nothing for me whatsoever. I suppose he was there to illustrate the unpredictable nature of human beings...? He fell flat as a "hero" as well. Fortunately there's a legion of characters in this movie that do, so he won't be alone. Even on Mars. Speaking of which, WTF? Really, WTF? Why build that giant ridiculous contraption when you can teleport around? Just totally senseless.
3.) This movie takes the "what" or the Cold War and ignores the "why." This is like looking like at stage 8 of a 10-stage disaster and ignoring stages 1-7. Of course this certainly fits the pattern of not explaining how things came to be the way they are... i.e., every character besides Dr. M. It's never even considered that either side may be morally superior to the other- that the United States stands for individual freedom, and the USSR stands for the collective. The ideals behind communism and capitalism are never even suggested. The movie just takes a state of war and makes it arbitrary. Shame on them, making something as catastrophic as war completely insignificant. I was embarrassed. A 7th grader should be embarrassed.
4.) The "solution" in this movie it not a solution, it is an EVASION. They stopped nuclear was, HUZZAH! But we have no idea why there even was the hint of nuclear war in the first place. Of course that doesn't matter, because the solution was to distract all parties involved. Distraction is not a solution. If the world ever figured out what actually happened, they'd end up in the very same state they were in before. Absolutely disgusted with the whole premise, here. Talk about a band-aid solution. If the Watchmen were trying to fix a slice, they'd definitely say, "aim left." And then when Rorschach suggested trying to fix the swing, Dr. Manhatten would kill him.
5.) Morality is entirely absent except for one "lunatic." Yes, Rorschach, the only one who refuses to compromise his principles, and who is also homeless, and clinically insane, is the only moral character in the story. The dweeby fellow makes attempts, but he does not have the heart to actually stand up and accept the consequences of really BEING a hero. Compare this to Batman, where his code of morality is QUITE clear (though also slightly incorrect, IMO) and V, where his purpose is EXTREMELY clear, and honest. The heroes in this story are just roided up moral wannabes, or worse.
6.) It's too crappy to be so long. The Dark Knight is pretty long, but it's so good that you never notice. Even Lord of the Rings, which I didn't really like, was reasonably good enough to be so long. Braveheart is longer than Watchmen, and I love Braveheart- not to mention that Braveheart is a vastly more complete movie. I mean, if I was going to make a movie with an awful plot that made barely a nod toward really tackling any societal issues, I could do it in about 10 minutes. 8 minutes of fight scenes, and 2 minutes of nonsense, instead of 155 minutes of nonsense.
I really left the theater shocked that it was so bad. It felt to me like a child had written it using a few random bits of reality that he got by skimming through the chapter titles in his history textbook. Nothing makes sense, nothing is explained, and nothing is solved. This movie is a disconnected sequence of events that amounts to being so memorably bad that it's worse than forgettable.
*
*
*
*
*
*
(and I don't mean the movie, though that will spoil your day)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Okay Zaphy, as I said in the Creationism thread, I really didn't like this movie. I feel like it was a letdown in a plethora of ways. So I'll begin with what I LIKED, since that won't take long. I'm also going to compare Watchmen to 2 other movies that are similar in their relative respects, and which both do a VASTLY better job of conveying that respect.
LIKES:
1.) Fight scenes. These were neat.
2.) Rorschach. The only truly moral character in the entire movie.
That was fast.
DISLIKES:
1.) The fact that these random people inexplicably were super-human was a huge plot-chasm for me. There was no hint as to what made these characters so much stronger or faster than Joe Blow. Here, I'd like to cite V for Vendetta and Batman Begins/The Dark Knight. In both V and BB/TDK, there is an explanation as to WHY these fellows became so powerful. The only character with any ATTEMPT at explanation is Dr. Manhatten, and that's so far fetched it's beyond silly. Most of the X-Men have more believable powers than this guy. But at least an ATTEMPT was made. I would be willing to look over the sillyness of Dr. M's origin if everyone had one, but since it's their only attempt at a cause, it definitely does NOT do the job.
2.) Dr. Manhatten was weird. Just... weird. Really did nothing for me whatsoever. I suppose he was there to illustrate the unpredictable nature of human beings...? He fell flat as a "hero" as well. Fortunately there's a legion of characters in this movie that do, so he won't be alone. Even on Mars. Speaking of which, WTF? Really, WTF? Why build that giant ridiculous contraption when you can teleport around? Just totally senseless.
3.) This movie takes the "what" or the Cold War and ignores the "why." This is like looking like at stage 8 of a 10-stage disaster and ignoring stages 1-7. Of course this certainly fits the pattern of not explaining how things came to be the way they are... i.e., every character besides Dr. M. It's never even considered that either side may be morally superior to the other- that the United States stands for individual freedom, and the USSR stands for the collective. The ideals behind communism and capitalism are never even suggested. The movie just takes a state of war and makes it arbitrary. Shame on them, making something as catastrophic as war completely insignificant. I was embarrassed. A 7th grader should be embarrassed.
4.) The "solution" in this movie it not a solution, it is an EVASION. They stopped nuclear was, HUZZAH! But we have no idea why there even was the hint of nuclear war in the first place. Of course that doesn't matter, because the solution was to distract all parties involved. Distraction is not a solution. If the world ever figured out what actually happened, they'd end up in the very same state they were in before. Absolutely disgusted with the whole premise, here. Talk about a band-aid solution. If the Watchmen were trying to fix a slice, they'd definitely say, "aim left." And then when Rorschach suggested trying to fix the swing, Dr. Manhatten would kill him.
5.) Morality is entirely absent except for one "lunatic." Yes, Rorschach, the only one who refuses to compromise his principles, and who is also homeless, and clinically insane, is the only moral character in the story. The dweeby fellow makes attempts, but he does not have the heart to actually stand up and accept the consequences of really BEING a hero. Compare this to Batman, where his code of morality is QUITE clear (though also slightly incorrect, IMO) and V, where his purpose is EXTREMELY clear, and honest. The heroes in this story are just roided up moral wannabes, or worse.
6.) It's too crappy to be so long. The Dark Knight is pretty long, but it's so good that you never notice. Even Lord of the Rings, which I didn't really like, was reasonably good enough to be so long. Braveheart is longer than Watchmen, and I love Braveheart- not to mention that Braveheart is a vastly more complete movie. I mean, if I was going to make a movie with an awful plot that made barely a nod toward really tackling any societal issues, I could do it in about 10 minutes. 8 minutes of fight scenes, and 2 minutes of nonsense, instead of 155 minutes of nonsense.
I really left the theater shocked that it was so bad. It felt to me like a child had written it using a few random bits of reality that he got by skimming through the chapter titles in his history textbook. Nothing makes sense, nothing is explained, and nothing is solved. This movie is a disconnected sequence of events that amounts to being so memorably bad that it's worse than forgettable.