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Need ShotTalker advice... ASAP!!!!!

limpalong

Mental Ward Escapee
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Oct 18, 2006
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I forgot!
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As some of you know, we have a son with the 82nd Airborne stationed at Ft. Bragg. He is flying in, tonight, with his fiance. This will be his first visit home since Christmas... and, our first opportunity to meet his wife-to-be.

We're excited about meeting our prospective daughter-in-law. Our son is 6'-3"... she is 4'-10". She has never been out of the state of North Carolina. She has never been in an airplane.

Certainly, at these exciting occasions, it would be remiss not to get sage advice from the brain cells on ShotTalk. So, I have some questions....

Do we make fun of her height? Do we ask if all North Carolinians are that short, since we've heard it takes them 12 years to get through the first 8 grades and they don't want the older kids taller than the younger ones? Do we ask if she's always talke funny? Or, do we ask if she plans on going to a speech therapist before marrying out son so she talks like a "real person"? Since she's made herself sick worrying about her first plane ride, do we show "Snakes on Planes" DVD as entertainment one evening? She is worrying about Kansas tornados. We're supposed to have some rain over the weekend. Each time it begins to sprinkle/drizzle, do we begin grabbing necessities and, in a panic, run to the basement? Do we tell her Kansas has fewer trees than North Carolina because 1) Tornados blew them all over or 2) North Carolinians are have been too lazy for decades to cut theirs? Do we ask how many abandoned cars, truck, or refrigerators her parents had in their front yard? Do we ask how young she was when she first chewed tobacco?

As you can see, we really want this to go smooth. We want to ask questions that will stimulate "discussion" and make a good first impression. You advice on the matter would be appreciated!!!!!
 

ejdahl21

Never Lay Up
Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2007
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982
She is worrying about Kansas tornados. We're supposed to have some rain over the weekend. Each time it begins to sprinkle/drizzle, do we begin grabbing necessities and, in a panic, run to the basement?

I especially like this one. My mom is from Kansas and if we get some bad weather up here I don't even budge unless I see her headed for the basement.

Maybe you could have "short ribs" for dinner in honor of your future d-i-l.
 

VtDivot

SLIGHTERED
Supporting Member
Apr 16, 2005
7,154
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Surely this thread is a joke right?

If it isn't, my advice is to show the woman some respect and can the discriminitory jokes.
 

BigJim13

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Moderator
Aug 13, 2006
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Wish I had a FIL with your sense of humor :)

My FIL has a great sense of humor and I am very blessed to have a great relationship with my in laws.

All this being said, since it is the first time you will be meeting her, my advice would be to at least get a feel for her sense of humor before starting in with the ribbing. And forgive me if you already planned to do this and I didn't pick that up, but the last thing you want to do is start ribbing somebody who doesn't have the personality to take and give it back.
 

mddubya

Hybrid convert
Nov 6, 2007
6,029
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Somehow I can't imagine your son not having a great sense of humor having been raised by you Limp. Therefor I can't imagine she doesn't have one as well. Surely he has kidded her over her height and most likely over her accent also.


I'd definitely check to see if the top of her head is flat enough to rest a beer on, :laugh:
 

Esox

Well-Known Member
Supporting Member
Aug 6, 2008
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Since she's from the south, when addressing her, put your face very close to hers, and speak loudly and slowly. This will help her understand what you're saying. Also, before she arrives, go to a local McDonald's with your wife or another family member. Have them cause a distraction at the front counter while you grab three or four booster seats. Place the around your home in spots where she is likely to sit down. She'll appreciate being able to sit up like a big girl.

Kevin
 

mddubya

Hybrid convert
Nov 6, 2007
6,029
2
To make her feel more at home, I'd suggest strategically placing a couple of cars on blocks in the front yard. And don't forget the spittoons. All the women from the Carolinas dip snuff.
 

slickpitt

Well-Known Member
Aug 15, 2006
2,706
3
Oh man you HAVE to take this opportunity to give her ALL KINDS of hell! :) Might as well let her know what she's getting in to! My kids know, any mate they bring home is going to be picked on mercilessly!!!
 

mddubya

Hybrid convert
Nov 6, 2007
6,029
2
Oh man you HAVE to take this opportunity to give her ALL KINDS of hell! :) Might as well let her know what she's getting in to! My kids know, any mate they bring home is going to be picked on mercilessly!!!


No doubt, but actually, BigJim has a point, I'd definitely touch base with your son 1st. Ask him about her sense of humor ;)
 

SiberianDVM

I love Hooters
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Jul 25, 2005
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See if you can find a jar of pickled pigs feet to serve as appetizers so she'll feel right at home.

If the PPF are not available, then Vienna sausages and Ritz crackers will do in a pinch.
 

jtodd

Well-Known Member
Jun 18, 2009
4
0
Nothing like making her feel right at home! I'm sure by now your son has told her all about his family, and hopefully she will have alot of spunk even at 4'-10" and give it right back, otherwise your son might be traveling home for Christmas alone...

I have 3 kids in the Military and we love our service men and woman; please let him know how much we appreciate his service to our country!
 

MCDavis

The Plaid Duffer
Staff member
Moderator
Oct 19, 2006
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Sanford, NC
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Look here you old codger, being from NC I'll tell you right now that if you don't show that lady some respect I'm gonna force a full jar of metamucil into your mouth, soak it down with ex-lax, and then shove it down your throat with your 4 iron (hell, you're not using it for anything anyway!)! ;)

In all seriousness, treat her like family REGARDLESS of what your son says. If she's going to be family, she needs to know what she's getting into from the start...as does your son. Simply be yourselves, hold nothing back because of her. IMHO that's the only way to be fair to everybody. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life tip toeing around your daughter-in-law??

That's how we treat all of our kid's friends (teenagers) and the few they have dated. It's worked well...we've wound up being close to many of their friends.
 

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