social etiquette

[psychi]

Hi everyone. I am new to golf (first year) and new to this forum. I apologize beforehand if this isn’t posted in the right area. This question is about social etiquette. I went golfing with a young lady and I was hoping to spend some quality time with her besides golfing. Another man (with whom she had once played in a tournament, but unknown to me ) asked if he could join us in a round. She of course said yes and later made the comment what else could she say?

So my question is this. Is it proper etiquette to invite oneself along when the people playing are a couple and only one is familiar to you? Or rather , would you invite yourself under those circumstance?

 

[longiron]

Welcome to the forum psychi hope you find it nice here. The same thing happend to me not to long ago, but i was a single and came up behind a twosome. I looked up and one of them was a guy i knew years ago. They offerd to let me play through but i didnt take the offer because it was just one of those thing where they where waiting on the group in front so it wasnt any big deal. I did end up joining them but after the asked me to. I would have never asked to join, but thats just me.

 

[Slingblade61]

It's proper only if the chick is hot, otherwise you'll have to watch someone else bend over to set their tee.

 

[Kilted Arab]

Does the other bloke also fancy slipping her one?

 

[psychi]

Thanks everyone. To answer the questions yes , she is hot and I would never blame anyone for trying. However she is also a serious golfer and the man who offerered is an excellent player. He even gave me several tips which were very helpful. Despite that, to me it was bad manners because it put us in an uncomfortable position of having to say no.

 

[goatster]

id watch the slippery bast.

i would never ask someone if i could join them.thats like invitin yourself to a party of strangers.everybody has there reasons for being on the course and some people(like you) are just lookin to spend quality time with someone.

 

[SilverUberXeno]

Since he exercised improper etiquette, that's a free improper-etiquette certificate for you. You can use it for a 5-across-the-eyes, a PW to the kneecap, elbow-to-throat, or all of the above (as long as it's within a 15 second window). The message is simple, don't invite yourself into groups or you'll get the marrow beaten out of your bones. Grenades are uncommon, but effective as well.

If I were in that situation, I'd have said "Not today, we're out to enjoy eachother's company. You can play through, if you like."

You're denying him, and giving him an ultimatum at the same time. He can't really argue, he's far more inclined to say "okay" and play through, or "no, you two go ahead." But, ya know, keep those other things in mind..

 

[Kilted Arab]

Forget about the golf. This thread isnt about golf. Its about you and this piece of snatch.


How you gonna win her? Have you got her number and are you going to be..err...playing a round with her anytime soon?

 

[BentGrass]

He moved in on your girl, AND was trying to tell you how to golf? I would have bent a few of his clubs when he wasn't looking.

 

[psychi]

Well she is already my current partner in golf and in other things. I was really asking the question from a golfing social etiquette point of view and it was my only interest in asking the question.. I am wise enough to understand other implications of what may, or may not have happened. However she is friendly to everyone and loves the game . She would golf with anyone who asked her, but I also know, if the topic strayed from golf , she would likly hit them with a club.

 

[SilverUberXeno]

Well.. if the front's off limits, how 'bout you let me try the back nine?

Just kidding.. I heard something like that in a movie once.

 

[obagain]

I have never asked to join a group or to play thru. It is very bad manners to invite yourself in.

I would be very wary of a gentleman who invites himself to your date, if you are there for each others company it is a date not a golf match.
This would be a guy to keep an eye on when she is with you. You know how guys are. Either we are thinking about making it with them or we are bragging about already making it with them, there are no in betweens.

 

[Augster]

You guys are all insane. I play in all the time, and 99% of the time I don't know the people.

If the course is "full" and the groups go 4-4-4-2-1-4-4 and you are the single sandwiched in there, I always try to play in. It just makes sense time-wise. The "pace of golf" is based on foursomes. When you are only a two-some waiting on a foursome, it seems like forever. Add a 3rd, and the wait is nowhere near as long.

Her knowing the guy makes it all more correct for him to join.

Granted, if there is room to move on the course, I will always try to play through, or I'll stay behind and hit two balls if noone is behind and pushing, but most of the time the groups end up getting sandwiched.

Not a lot makes me more pissed then when it's a slow round and you have a 4-2-2-4 and I'm in the last foursome. Why the hell won't the two two-somes pair up? That just absolutely baffles me.

Bottom line, golf is a social game, and a single has no standing on the golf course.

 

[cabinessence]

I agree with Augster. If I come up on a group of less than four on the tee or anywhere else I just ask nicely "do you mind if I join you?" It's their prerogative to say no if they wish.

 

[Kilted Arab]

A single has every right to book a t-time on a course, but I'd expect - if the course is busy - for the starter to pair up the single with 3-balls or less if necessary or if sensible.

I do believe one of the problems with slow play is course management. I read threads here and on other forums and I consistently ask myself "why are these courses managed badly?" It's not a problem I can ever remember coming across in the UK or here in the UAE. Sure, there are times you get held up, but the marshalls sort it out or the groups in front let you through.

Of course there is responsibility on the golfers, but the courses should be able to maintain pace of play by adequate management of t-times and course marshalling. Even just one marshall driving round the course in reverse order should be enough to help keep traffic flowing?

As to the single asking the couple if he can join, I don't see a real problem with that. It's a golf course, not a venue for a date. But, then again, the 2-ball has the right to say no and, out of courtesy, let the single guy through.