Ten Commandments of Golf

[CybrSlicr]

In a play on Bob Rotella's Ten Commandments of Golf, a friend of mine created the following list. Enjoy!!

1. Don’t try and play like Tiger. You are not that good, and probably never will be.
2. Try as you might, you will never hit all 18 fairways in a single round
3. The sand is not a beach, so don’t get a Corona Light and spend the day there.
4. It’s much harder to hit a ball from the really thick grass, so stay out of it.
5. If you visualize yourself making a 50 foot putt, chances are you’ll overshoot the hole by 50 feet.
6. When chipping, the ball is supposed to go up, but not as far as your mid-iron just a shot ago.
7. You will hit bad shots. Kicking your bag, and throwing your clubs is just a reason to buy new equipment.
8. When you hit a good shot, you shouldn’t tear off your shirt and run around like an idiot, it’s bad for business.
9. If someone is within range, wait for them to move. You will NOT get 50 points for a moving target.
10. If god intended us to shoot par every hole, he wouldn’t have invented rescue clubs.

 

[RoRo]

You forgot a couple important ones

1) To 0-10 hanicappers they are called Concession Carts
To 10-20 Handicappers they are called Cart Girls
To the rest of us Beer Wench works best (never to the wench's face though)

2) Anytime anyone hit a ball into a bunker...someone on the team must make a David Hasselhoff reference

3) Short putters' names are always changed to Sally (one acceptable replacement is Nancy) for the hole.

4) If a player has to point to the spots on the cource where he took shots...to tally is count for the hole...add 1 more to get the actual score.

5) Caddy Shack must be quoted at least once per 9 holes. When in doubt...throw in a "Ohhhh Billy Billy Billy"

6) Feel free to use your teammates clubs if they have something new and cool.
***Beware that you will end up buying the club the next day if you have a good shot.
***Also beware that you will never be able to mimic that good shot with your new identical club

7) Pee breaks are only allowed one at a time. Pick your holes well.

:-D

 

[ChrisR]

hehehe these are funny.

 

[longiron]

Number 5 is so true it hurts.

 

[the Anomaly]

If you see groups behind you and none in front of you...you are the problem.